Friday, May 14, 2010

Bringing Up Girls Chapters 5 & 6

As I sit here at the computer with my Chai Latte in my CBC mug I will try to go over Chapters 5 & 6 of Dr. Dobson's book. It hits home to me and thing I've compromised just because I'm a women and can do it myself. But you do miss out on the little things so here goes......

Chapter 5: Teaching Girls to be Ladies
Dr. Dobson starts out by getting into our 2nd President of the US John Adams and puts in a quote on manners from an autobiography. The language is different from ours today but it was still good. It is too long for me to re-type but I will quote the last paragraph. "The foundations of national Morality must be laid in private Families. In vain are Schools, Academics and universities instituted if loose Principles and licentious habits are impressed upon Children in their earliest years. The Mothers are the earliest and most important Instructors of youth.
I find this quote to be so good and insightful for way back when. I can't imagine what President Adams would think of our school systems today and what is taught and how low morals have gotten. You have to be pretty involved and on the stricter side as a mom to lay down the Moral foundation that President Adams is talking of.
Dr. Dobson says if we choose evil, there will be no stopping us. In short, our national sovereignty depends on the transmission of the nation's morals and manners to children, and that task should begin in the nursery.
In today's culture young girls are often allowed, and even encouraged, to be brash, rude, crude, profane, immodest, immoral, loud and aggressive. He feels this is because way too many parents have become far too distracted, overworked and stressed out to care to much about teaching morals and manners to children. A quote from Fred Astaire " The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any."
So once again to moms out there it is your job to acculturate your daughters and help them become ladies. Our daughters should be taught how to eat, talk, walk, dress, converse on the telephone, and respond to adults with respect and poise. As parents we should demonstrate good posture and table manners for them, such as putting a napkin in the lap, showing them where to place silverware, and not talking with food in their mouths. They should also explain that burping, gobbling food and picking teeth are rude. He also believes that you should require your kids to say please and thank you. We also need to teach techniques of personal grooming, hygiene and nutrition.
Dr. Dobson then talks about some ways to role play on teaching your children communication skills.
He then talks about some different etiquette businesses around (so sad that we send our girls to learn etiquette when it is our job to teach them at home-side note by me) and a book called 365 Manners Kids Should Know by Sheryl Eberly. His wife Shirley would have elaborate tea parties with their daughter Danae to help teach good etiquette. Danae loved them and they would invite others from the neighborhood to join them. Another source is the book Everyday Graces: A Child's Book of Good Manners by Karen Santorum. She is a mother of 8 and a homeschool mom whose husband is former Senator Rick Santorum of Penn.
As moms we need to also teach out daughters how to be treated on a date. If a guy wants to date your daughter and he comes to pick her up and honks for her to come out, as a dad go out and tell him to continue on his way. Don't let your daughter be treated in that manner. The date needs to open the door for her, take her somewhere nice to eat, pay for the bill and then take her home and not expect anything in return. We need to not only teach our son's that this is how you treat a lady but need to train our daughters that this is the respect you deserve. Why is this disrespect allowed to go on today in our society because girls tolerate it.
Side note from me I was taught on how I should be treated on a date and didn't pay for it and the guy did have to come up to the house and open my car door etc. I told Darryl last night that we need to be doing that more. Sometimes he does open the door sometimes not. When we go to a fast food restaurant I usually do the ordering and he now needs to. Just little things like that, that the kids see and so we need to set a better example for Trevor on how to treat a lady even after he has been married 17 years and for Alivia on how she should be treated even after being married for 17 years.
It comes down to this: the relationship between a man and women throughout their lives together, if indeed they do marry, will reflect the ground rules set by the women when they are courting. She can change him then, but probably not after.
We also need to teach our girls strong biblical foundation from which morals and virtues can evolve.
Chapter 6 : Embarrassing The Angels
He starts out with talking about a author, lecturer and columnist for the Wall Street Journal Peggy Noonan. She had wrote a piece about on what it means to be a lady that made he stand up and cheer. In that piece so goes on to describe if you are a chosen women at airport security to be checked and that 50 years ago it would have been considered second-degree assault. She tells step by step the awful thing she had to endure.
This chapter is about what Peggy wrote and her experience with airport security. Dobson does end the chapter by saying that parents need to work diligently to teach, shape, and form the character of their daughters. And that if MTV, Hollywood and pop music industry, and peers have their way with your girls, they are likely to curse, dress provocatively, behave like uncultured and uncouth waifs and have no sense of personal dignity. Remember mom you are the keeper of the keys at home. Teach your girls to be ladies.

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