Thursday, June 10, 2010

Chapter 9 & 10

Chapter 9 Why Daddies Matter
OK, I'm back with it again, finding time to read :) There is a place in the female soul reserved for Daddy, or a daddy figure, that will always yearn for affirmation. Your daughter will adore her father if he loves and protects her and if she finds safety and warmth in his arms. The fawning attention of a father for his daughter prepares her for her uniquely feminine role as a girlfriend, fiancee and wife. If there is something lacking in your relationship with your father when you were a child, the development of your femininity suffered the most. There is a book called Always Daddy's Girl which addresses the matter of a woman's sense of identity.
Dr. Dobson recall things he did with both of his kids both good and not so good and of the good the cherish memories he has of fun times with each kid. Some years ago they asked radio listeners to call in a record a message for their dads. They had 600 people call in and of those messages not one of them focused on the fathers profession, money that he made, a big house, expensive cars etc. Instead it was thanks for loving me, being there for me, and supporting me.
Dobson includes two sad stories of daughters and their relationships with their fathers.
In general the family dynamics for a man goes as follows: first it is his wife. The man needs to meet the needs of his wife. Next is the sons. Fathers need to teach their boys how to be men. So usually daughters end up third in line for daddy's attention. Men sometimes see this yearning from their daughters for attention and view it as woman's work or the mother's job.
Dobson offers three different ways for father's to make the connection with their daughters 1-Conversation: Spend time talking with them. Girls and women connect emotionally through spoken word. Girls feel abandoned by fathers who won't engage them verbally. Next is Touch: daughters need touch or hugs very day from their daddies. However sometimes when a girl reaches puberty father's have a hard time giving those hugs. During puberty your daughters are going through times of insecurity and they desperately need you and your hugs. The final suggestion is spend one on one time with your daughters. Go to the park, a bike ride, dinner, ice cream or whatever but spend time with them.
Chapter 10 : Fathers To Daughters
This Chapter is full of proverbs written by Harry Harrison called "Father to Daughter: Life Lessons on Raising a Girl. There are many pages of these proverbs I will share with you just a few.
Take part in her life now. Don't wait until she is 15 to try and develop a relationship.
Her mom will show her how to bake cookies. You show her how to dunk them.
Be prepared to watch Disney movies with her some 200 times. Each.
Never, ever make fun of her.
Make her a Valentine's day card, every year.
Ask her about her day-everyday.
Never laugh at her dreams.
Make sure she can reach you 24 hours a day.
You will have to teach her how to drive...without making her cry.
Don't let her moods or anger push you away. She needs you now more than ever.

There are many many other great proverbs listed in this chapter.

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