Well today is the last day of 2010. As I reflect on this year it has been a hard one. From about May-October our family went through different trials, and it seemed like one after the other. God was so very good to us to help and guide us through different things and showed us the path to take and let us know that He was there the whole time to help us through. We came through stronger as a family and thankful to have had such loving friends to talk to and have them pray for us.
On a happier note looking back at this year some great things happened. We were able to spend July 4th and Thanksgiving with family from Ohio. Darryl and I coached fall soccer and had a great time with the kids. From coaching Alivia made some non-christian friends whom are now going to AWANA with her. Trevor and I both detasseled for the first time and survived and will probably do it again next year. Alivia had an undefeated soccer season with Parks and Rec. she also played parks and rec. basketball for the first time and really liked it. So she has started in on another basketball team with many of the girls from parks and rec. My niece got married and again we were together as a family. Darryl celebrated in June, 25 years at Lloyd Table Company. We are very thankful for his job and the fact that I don't have to work and can stay home and school the kids. After saving for 2 years I was able to go back to NYC in October with the girls. We continue to see more new things and have a great time shopping. I went over to New Jersey and visited Carlos Bakery home of the TLC show Cake Boss and was able to bring home some cupcakes for the kids. In February Trevor was officially taller then Darryl. He continues to grow and I continue to have to buy him clothes and shoes because he keeps growing. Darryl celebrated his 30 year class reunion in August at Sauerkraut Days plus sold his prize possession his '63 Chevy II Nova that he had had for many years. I continue to run outside and since we had a great early spring I was able to get out of the gym and outside in March. I lost 10 pounds this spring/summer from running but found it to be a great stress release from the trials as most of the time I would pray during my 3 mile run. Darryl and I both did some 5K's and my time continues to improve. Darryl went to at least 1 Nascar race and then to a big gun show with some friends.
I'm sure there is more that I could write but they are not coming to mind. I'm glad that through the trials there were a lot of positive things happening and things that kept us all busy.
I'm truly thankful for my close friends and for those who love me in-spite of all my faults. I'm thankful to have 2 healthy wonderful children, a husband who loves me for better or worse which we had both this year, and for family who make me laugh when we are all together.
For 2011 I hope for there to not be so many trials in our lives , for continued health for my family, for my friendships to continue to grow stronger, for us to be able to stay on our budget and for all of us to grow in our faith.
Wishing you a very Happy New Year and that when you reflect back on 2010 I hope you too can have more positives then negatives in your life.
Happy New Year!!!!
The life of Shannon in small town Lisbon.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Rules
The successful rearing of a child is a matter of three simple rules, or understandings. These rules, as will become readily apparent, cannot be communicated to infants or young toddlers. Properly timed, the communication begins when a child is around eighteen months of age, give or take a few months. The introduction of these rules into a child's life almost invariably causes great consternation, to the point sometimes of rage. The reason for this is quite simple: There have been no rules at all to speak of before this time. Well, that's not exactly accurate. For eighteen months, the child has been led to believe the he rules. These three rules are not just new, however, but contradict the child's understanding of how the world works. They upset the child's applecart, so to speak, because the child had every reason to believe he ran the show, and would do so forever.
So, the child screams in protest of the rules, denies that his parents are capable of enforcing them, and does many destructive things to demonstrate his defiance. This upheaval goes by the popular term "The Terrible Twos." If parents "stay the course" through this much maligned stage, then by his or her third birthday, the child will have accepted that the rules are fixed, as in permanent.
First rule(from parent to child): "From this point on in our relationship, child of mine, you will pay much more attention to me than I will ever again, as a general rule, give to you."
Rule two: "You will do as I say."
Rule three: "You will do what I say not because of bribe, brutality, threat or persuasive explanation. You will do as I say because I say so. Period."
These three rules are indispensable to the parent-child relationship. They are the foundation of the child's "disciple-ship" and, therefore his or her later success in every dimension of life.
By John Rosemond
So, the child screams in protest of the rules, denies that his parents are capable of enforcing them, and does many destructive things to demonstrate his defiance. This upheaval goes by the popular term "The Terrible Twos." If parents "stay the course" through this much maligned stage, then by his or her third birthday, the child will have accepted that the rules are fixed, as in permanent.
First rule(from parent to child): "From this point on in our relationship, child of mine, you will pay much more attention to me than I will ever again, as a general rule, give to you."
Rule two: "You will do as I say."
Rule three: "You will do what I say not because of bribe, brutality, threat or persuasive explanation. You will do as I say because I say so. Period."
These three rules are indispensable to the parent-child relationship. They are the foundation of the child's "disciple-ship" and, therefore his or her later success in every dimension of life.
By John Rosemond
Monday, December 20, 2010
Life in the past
Once upon a time, people got married, had children, and reared them. It wasn't something they spent a lot of time fussing and fretting over. It was just something they did, along with planting seeds in the spring and harvesting them in the fall. If they came up against a child-rearing problem, they sought advice from grandparents and great-aunts or older brothers and sisters who'd already started their families. These were the experts of not so long ago, and they gave practical advise based on real-life experiences.
Along came a war and then a baby boom. Young parents took their children and went looking for the promised land. From the ashes of the extended family rose an entirely different class of child-rearing experts. Ones with degrees, nameplates on their doors, and large, mahogany desks.
It wasn't long before rhetoric replaced reality as the primary shaper of our child-rearing practices. Nonsense replaced common sense. American families became child-centered, and American parents became permissive. And not surprisingly, American children became self-centered, self-indulgent, spoiled, sassy, and out of control. By John Rosemond in his book "Because I Said So".
I may be at church, Walmart, the mall, a sporting event, the movies or even family gatherings and I think what is the future going to be like with these kids running our country. I see parents whose lives revolve around their kids and their sports or other activities. When I help in the nursery I always put the same few kids in timeout and their parents never ask how they were that day. I see such lack of discipline and a lot of giving in. Saying No but never following through. I just had a conversation with my brother about this as he told his daughter no twice and then by the time I returned to the room she was doing in front of him what he told her no to twice. So I gave him parenting 101 advise and it's biblical as well. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Or you could add spare the rod spoil the child.
Parents you need to go back to common sense and stop listening to people with big mahogany desk. Listen to truth and do the correct thing. A great book is "Parenting By the Book" by John Rosemond that really gets into scripture and shows you what God's word says about children raising. Read it and get back to reality instead of raising your kids in a fantasy land where life revolves around them.
Along came a war and then a baby boom. Young parents took their children and went looking for the promised land. From the ashes of the extended family rose an entirely different class of child-rearing experts. Ones with degrees, nameplates on their doors, and large, mahogany desks.
It wasn't long before rhetoric replaced reality as the primary shaper of our child-rearing practices. Nonsense replaced common sense. American families became child-centered, and American parents became permissive. And not surprisingly, American children became self-centered, self-indulgent, spoiled, sassy, and out of control. By John Rosemond in his book "Because I Said So".
I may be at church, Walmart, the mall, a sporting event, the movies or even family gatherings and I think what is the future going to be like with these kids running our country. I see parents whose lives revolve around their kids and their sports or other activities. When I help in the nursery I always put the same few kids in timeout and their parents never ask how they were that day. I see such lack of discipline and a lot of giving in. Saying No but never following through. I just had a conversation with my brother about this as he told his daughter no twice and then by the time I returned to the room she was doing in front of him what he told her no to twice. So I gave him parenting 101 advise and it's biblical as well. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Or you could add spare the rod spoil the child.
Parents you need to go back to common sense and stop listening to people with big mahogany desk. Listen to truth and do the correct thing. A great book is "Parenting By the Book" by John Rosemond that really gets into scripture and shows you what God's word says about children raising. Read it and get back to reality instead of raising your kids in a fantasy land where life revolves around them.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Grandparents dismay over undisciplined grandkids/Parents get off your butts and DO something about it!!
This is a great question and answer. Some of you may have the kids that are wild and you don't take control of the situation. Or maybe you are the grandparents and have had it up to here with your children and lack of discipline. Sometimes for me it's my nephews. I think I do discipline at every family gathering as I see them hitting each other or their 2 year old cousin. The parents oblivious to what is happening in their own little world. My parents even direct their grandchildren to stop running or doing this or that with the parents right there not saying a thing. With Christmas coming this maybe of help for many of you....parents and grandparents.
Q: Help! Whenever our two adult children, their spouses, and our four school-age grandchildren (tweenagers, all) visit us, as they did this past Thanksgiving, chaos reigns. The children are nothing short of wild. They run, jump, and scatter toys and clothing all over the place, all with much yelling and screaming. They act like they're on vacation at a beach rental, and the parents do little to control the situation. We have tolerated this for some time now because we don't want to create discomfort for our guests. But we've pretty much had it. Do we talk to the parents or should we just discipline when we feel discipline is needed?
A: This can be the stickiest of wickets, one that I'm hearing about from an ever-increasing number of grandparents. Apparently, too many of today's parents fail to realize that proper parenting is an expression of love and respect for one's neighbors, including friends and relatives. Lacking such fundamental social awareness (they have some mass disorder, no doubt), they inflict their little (and sometimes, as in this case, not so little) terrors on everyone who is kind enough to let them in the door.
Willie and I laid down the law early on concerning grandchild behavior in our home. We told the kids that two rules prevailed: First, when in Rome do as the Romans do, and when the Romans come to you, do as the Romans do. Second, it is our job to spoil, your job to discipline; do not do our job and we won't have to do yours. That pretty much sums up the grandparent/parent relationship.
Thankfully, our kids were and are still on board with our expectations. We certainly aren't draconian, but things like running, jumping on furniture, loud noises, and disobedience (in any form) are not allowed. Those clear understandings make for much better visits for adults and children alike.
Were I in your shoes, I would take this issue up with the parents. If you react to the grandchildren's behavior out of the proverbial blue, and especially given the unfortunate precedents that have been set, you are likely to run afoul of parental protectiveness. Furthermore, you are not and should not be responsible for the discipline of your grandchildren. Their parents are responsible, and they should accept that obligation. Doing so is a matter of respect for you not to mention good guest etiquette (a word in danger of extinction).
Assuming you and Grandma are on the same page (Caution! Do not proceed unless that condition is satisfied!), talk to the parents. Tell them what bothers you and what your expectations are. No need to be critical, mind you. No need to imply that you don't approve of their parenting. Explain that the older one gets, the less tolerant one becomes of child chaos. It's true, unless one is blessed with hearing loss.
The parents, in turn, should convey your expectations, in no uncertain terms, to the grandchildren before they get in the car to come to your house and again in the driveway before everyone gets out of the car. They should make a further commitment to you that enforcement will not be in your court. And it really doesn't matter whether or not the parents agree with your expectations; they should back you unconditionally. That's one way parents teach children respect for adult authority.
Q: Help! Whenever our two adult children, their spouses, and our four school-age grandchildren (tweenagers, all) visit us, as they did this past Thanksgiving, chaos reigns. The children are nothing short of wild. They run, jump, and scatter toys and clothing all over the place, all with much yelling and screaming. They act like they're on vacation at a beach rental, and the parents do little to control the situation. We have tolerated this for some time now because we don't want to create discomfort for our guests. But we've pretty much had it. Do we talk to the parents or should we just discipline when we feel discipline is needed?
A: This can be the stickiest of wickets, one that I'm hearing about from an ever-increasing number of grandparents. Apparently, too many of today's parents fail to realize that proper parenting is an expression of love and respect for one's neighbors, including friends and relatives. Lacking such fundamental social awareness (they have some mass disorder, no doubt), they inflict their little (and sometimes, as in this case, not so little) terrors on everyone who is kind enough to let them in the door.
Willie and I laid down the law early on concerning grandchild behavior in our home. We told the kids that two rules prevailed: First, when in Rome do as the Romans do, and when the Romans come to you, do as the Romans do. Second, it is our job to spoil, your job to discipline; do not do our job and we won't have to do yours. That pretty much sums up the grandparent/parent relationship.
Thankfully, our kids were and are still on board with our expectations. We certainly aren't draconian, but things like running, jumping on furniture, loud noises, and disobedience (in any form) are not allowed. Those clear understandings make for much better visits for adults and children alike.
Were I in your shoes, I would take this issue up with the parents. If you react to the grandchildren's behavior out of the proverbial blue, and especially given the unfortunate precedents that have been set, you are likely to run afoul of parental protectiveness. Furthermore, you are not and should not be responsible for the discipline of your grandchildren. Their parents are responsible, and they should accept that obligation. Doing so is a matter of respect for you not to mention good guest etiquette (a word in danger of extinction).
Assuming you and Grandma are on the same page (Caution! Do not proceed unless that condition is satisfied!), talk to the parents. Tell them what bothers you and what your expectations are. No need to be critical, mind you. No need to imply that you don't approve of their parenting. Explain that the older one gets, the less tolerant one becomes of child chaos. It's true, unless one is blessed with hearing loss.
The parents, in turn, should convey your expectations, in no uncertain terms, to the grandchildren before they get in the car to come to your house and again in the driveway before everyone gets out of the car. They should make a further commitment to you that enforcement will not be in your court. And it really doesn't matter whether or not the parents agree with your expectations; they should back you unconditionally. That's one way parents teach children respect for adult authority.
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