Life according to.....well me

Friendships

2011-11-12T00:29:00.000-05:00

The Real Housewives of..... it started on Bravo with Orange County. Then Bravo added NYC, Washington DC, Atlanta, New Jersey and Beverly Hills. I started watching Orange County when it first started. I was wanting to see life of housewives who have money and live in the sunny state of CA. Like the others, the housewives are women just like you who are doing a reality show. I have learned a lot of things and seen a lot of changes in these different women. The first couple seasons of Orange County the women were friends and in general got along fine. I started watching NYC and then DC and thought wow the women on the east coast are mean to each other compared to the women on the west coast. But as women dropped out of the OC Housewives and new ones joined I realized that those women are just as mean.

With Alivia and even myself growing up there are always the mean girls in school. One would think when we got older and matured as females we would change and not be so caddy but it just doesn't happen. Alivia doesn't watch the show but sometimes sees previews if we are watching other stuff on Bravo. It has been a good way of telling her that even when she gets older, females are verbally mean to each other. You have to be careful in making friends and picking those to be friends with.

We are all different and have different personalities and sometimes that mixes well and other times it is like oil and water and you just can't mix them together. Which works for Bravo since you get to see a lot of "cat fights" which makes them money.

It also makes me reflect on past friendships and present ones. There are no perfect people and I will let my friends down and they will in turn let me down. From these friendships hopefully you grow as a person. Sometimes the friendship can be mended and other times you have to let it go. Some friends you lose touch with after they move away, some friendships are just for a short amount of time. It may be circumstances that bring you together and when that event is done you no longer keep in touch. Some people stay friends with those from high school or college and the both work at that friendship to keep it going strong. In some friendships you can go along time without seeing or talking to each other and pick right back up where you left off. Friendships are a funny thing and you can see all these different types on tv.

Jesus had 12 close friends that he shared many things with. If you look at those friendships you may see personalities of some of your friends now or friends who had. John the disciple whom Jesus loved was loyal and a very good friend. Judas was the complete opposite and betrayed Jesus just as we have all had friends who have betrayed us. Peter was quick to the sword and had Jesus' back to defend him but also let him down by denying him. But after he heard the rooster crow his heart was very sad for what he had did. You may have had a friend who let you down and then came to ask for forgiveness because they truly do love you. The rest of disciple as well had different personalities and different friendships with Jesus.

It can be hard to find a true friend. Someone whom you can trust, go to 24/7, listen to you, cry with you, rejoice with you and pray with you. Along that path to find that true friend or friends you will have hurt and disappointment. Your one true friend is Christ. He is everything you need and he has given up everything for you because He loves you that much. You will not find a friend like that here on earth because as I said we all mess up and are imperfect. But keep searching for that kind of friend here on earth because you can find someone who loves you for who you are, and will forgive you when you mess up and hurt them.

I'm very thankful for Darla, Sheri and Sherry three great friends who love me, forgive me and are there for me as I am for them.

And Now High School

2011-05-31T11:47:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe my baby boy will be entering 9th grade this next school year. It has gone by so fast although some days, weeks and months seemed to drag on like this part of life would never end. But it always does and he has matured into a wonderful young man.

When we decided to homeschool we said we would just take it one year at a time, which we continue to do. For most people I knew who homeschooled, at high school they decided to send the kids to public or christian school because there is a lot of record keeping involved if you want your child to graduate with the school district diploma. Now that we are done with Junior High for Trevor I've been looking at High School and what he needs to do in 4 years according to the state of Iowa.
For High School 9th - 12th Grade students need to complete credits. A credit would be either 2/3 of a public school textbook or 120 hours on a certain subject. They also need to take ITBS and pass at 40% level.

When I look back at my high school and maybe kids in high school now I wish my parents would have known the in's and out's of what was needed to graduate. In many cases kids could graduate early.
I had a full-time summer job that in 6 weeks I could have earned a elective credit for in occupational skills. 12- 40hour weeks at that job and there I have 2 credits of the 8 credits in electives. Summer reading of 120 hours worth would account for 1 credit in English. Doing chores over the years at home I'm sure I had at least 120 hours in to account of another elective credit in home economics. But none of that counted cause my parents were unaware of things like that accounting for credits towards graduation.

One advantage of homeschooling is you do learn about Iowa laws in the education field which is at an advantage to your child/children.
So what credits do your children need in 4 years to graduate, English 4 credits, Social Studies 3 credits, Science 2 credits, Math 2 credits, P.E./Health 1 credit, Electives 8 credits.
Electives are just that, the extra so it can be working, chores, foreign language, music, art, home economics, bible, drama, volunteer work, studying of something they are interested in etc. As I said before a credit is 120 hours on a subject or 2/3 of a textbook.

I found it fascinating that kids only need 2 credits in Math. In a school year I'm sure the teacher gets through at least 2/3 of the text they are teaching and if a student would choose they would only need to do math for 2 of their 4 school years. Same with Science and only 3 years of Social Studies. So as a Senior depending on what your plan in life is you may only need to take an English class in the public school system your last year, if you have fulfilled the other credits plus your eight electives and passed at 40% or higher on ITBS.

Looking at all of this and going through Trevor's 4 year plan he very well could graduate early and get started in his college road to be whatever he has planned. I'm excited about these next 3 or 4 years as he continues to mature from a young man to a man and see where God is leading him.

Think Beyond Punishment

2011-03-24T12:01:00.000-04:00

The human desire for short-term gratification is satisfied by jet planes that travel coast-to-coast in four hours, fast food outlets, and all manner of new and ever-faster electronic technologies. Because people are no longer accustomed to waiting patiently, they tend to become quickly frustrated when natural processes can’t be circumvented and they are forced to wait for a solution to “mature.” When that happens, people are inclined to begin unwittingly engaging in self-defeating behavior.
Over the past few decades, I’ve noticed this becoming more and more typical of today’s parents concerning disciplinary solutions. In other words, when a parent’s disciplinary response to a specific misbehavior doesn’t result in a near-instant cure, the parent becomes frustrated and begins zigging and zagging all over the parenting playing field, trying one approach after another, accomplishing nothing.

Some of these parents eventually talk to me. They tell me they’ve tried “everything.” That’s the problem, of course. When I ask one of them to describe the history of their approach to the problem in question, it’s almost inevitable that at least one of the strategies—or some variation thereof—probably would have borne fruit had the parents stuck to their proverbial guns.

Then there’s the problem of the magnitude of the consequences that today’s parents use. Most of them try to stop charging elephants with flyswatters (e.g., 4-year-old hits his mother and receives ten minutes in time-out). When I propose using the disciplinary equivalent of an atom bomb (e.g., said child spends a month in his room, except for absolutely necessary “paroles,” with early bedtime to relieve his boredom) the common reaction is momentary speechlessness, then “Isn’t that, well, rather harsh?”

Not even close. He has a nice room, doesn’t he? Ultimately, it is in the best interest of a child that misbehavior be stopped as quickly as possible. The best research consistently says that the most obedient children are also the happiest. That makes sense, especially given that in adulthood, disobedient and disgruntled go hand-in-glove.

I tell parents to think beyond punishment. Merely punishing a given misbehavior often does nothing but minimize it, therefore requiring ongoing punishment. Think instead of eliminating the misbehavior—to use your great-grandmother’s parenting vernacular, of “nipping it in the bud.” The first time a given misbehavior occurs, respond with a consequence that is “atomic”—one that sends a calm, determined message of complete intolerance. Stop fighting one small skirmish after another. Use the A-bomb right off the bat. Then, wait. Sometimes, even A-bombs take time to work their magic.

Several weeks ago, a parent wrote to tell me that after eight years of almost complete restriction—almost no social life or any other privileges—her son, now a sophomore in high school, is finally making the grades he was capable of making all along (and is a much happier camper as a result). Eight years, during which time he complained constantly to his parents that their expectations were too high and that nothing he did would ever satisfy them, all the while performing well below par in the attempt to prove his case. To their inestimable credit, they stayed the course, all the while taking lots of flak from their peers, many of whom, I’d venture, are experts at flailing away with flyswatters.

Their story simply proves that there is no such thing as McDiscipline.

Freewill and Choices

2011-02-02T16:44:00.002-05:00

I'm reading Parenting By the Book again because it is a very good book and gets to the heart of parenting before all these psychologist started getting involved and telling us how we were all messing up our kids. It goes with the Grandma child training, from teaching your children to be good citizens and respectful. Another reminder throughout the book is how we all have a freewill.

God created each and every person on this earth. He started with Adam and Eve. He made them different then rats, mice, dogs etc. So when you hear studies done with this animals or others to explain human behavior they can be easily dismissed because humans are the only creatures given freewill. Adam and Eve had everything we could ever dream of. Everything but one tree. God told them they could not eat of the fruit of this one tree otherwise all their needs were taken care of. But because of freewill and God allows us to make choices, Eve was tempted and choose to eat of the fruit of the one forbidden tree.

When it comes to parenting why do I think that I can raise almost perfect children. I'm not perfect, in fact I screw up somehow probably everyday. I make wrong choices and have all my life. I have also of course made good choices too. But we are all sinners and so are our children. Which is why when they do make wrong choices we need to follow through with a punishment. Just as we have punishments for our wrong choices. In a perfect world we would always do the right thing, be selfless, loving and serving others. But it is a fallen world and we all fall short including our children. I've really been blind-sided by that this week in dealing with wrong choices made by my children. So why am I dumbfounded by this, feeling like a terrible mom and very guilty of a bad choice made by an offspring. As I said earlier Adam and Eve had everything and still made a bad choice which has effected us today. We need to strive to make the right choices and have to deal with the consequences when we don't. We need to remember that our children are also still learning and will continue to make wrong choices as well. We can teach them and train them but we can't get rid of the freewill God has given to them.

There will be a time or times in your parenting where your children will make bad choices. It will be hard sometimes to deal with but just as God forgives us and teaches us we need to deal with the bad choice and move on and hope that next time the same situation appears they will make a better choice.

The Big Blueprint

2011-01-26T10:52:00.003-05:00

God has given us a blueprint for living creative, productive, fulfilling lives and experiencing fulfilling relationships with one another and with him. The blueprint is known as the Old and New Testaments of the Bible.

The Bible incorporates a number of smaller blueprints for every aspect of living, including marriage (a permanent, faithful relationship between a man and a women), conducting business, forming and living in a healthy societies (laws must be obeyed), and the rearing of children (proper discipline is as critical to proper child rearing as is love; the education of the children is the responsibility of parents).

Because God created us in his image, we possess free will. This freedom includes the freedom to choose whether we obey God, whether we live our lives in accord with his blueprints for living. Choices result in consequences. The ultimate consequence of obeying God is good. The ultimate consequence of disobeying God is the opposite of good.

The risks of attempting to raise a child without regard for God's blueprint for child rearing, as clearly set forth in his Big Blueprint, include a child who is ill-behaved, disrespectful, destructive and self-destructive, irresponsible, inattentive, careless, aggressive, self-centered, deceitful and so on. The risks to the child's parents include chronic frustration, stress, anxiety, anger, resentment, conflict, and guilt.

The sad tragic fact is that most American parents, even many believers in Christ have deviated from God's child-rearing blueprint in raising their children. This alone explains why child rearing has become the single most stressful, frustrating anxiety-and guilt-ridden thing American adults (especially females) will ever do.

But any parent who so chooses can realign his or her child rearing with God's plan will begin to experience success.

-John Rosemond

Did not see this coming

2011-01-10T15:42:00.002-05:00

When I first got pregnant in 1995, Darryl and I had decided that I would quit my job and stay home. I myself could never imagine sending my infant to a babysitters or daycare for 8 or more hours a day. I wanted to nurse them and do what I felt God calling me to do which was stay home full time. I figured when the kids were in school full-time I would go back to work part-time so I could be home when they were done with school and help out at school. In 1998 along came Alivia whom we had planned and so I had at least 5 more years at home. We learned to work on a budget and cut back on things we didn't need. Nothing could replace that precious time I had with the kids to teach them before they were off to school. We prayed for 2 years about any more kids since I wanted another. Darryl because of being 10 years older then me was satisfied with the two we had and didn't want to be old by the time the last was 18 and graduating. So I asked God to either give me a content heart or to change Darryl's mind. Well he changed me and we stopped at two.

When Trevor was 3 he started preschool in Mt.Vernon and on his road to learning in school. Then came 4 year old preschool and he too was enrolled in Mt.Vernon for that and that was when God started to peak my interest in homeschooling. At the time no one I knew homeschooled although some from our church had but now their kids were in high school at the public school. I brought the idea up to Darryl and his first response was NO! He too didn't know of anyone who homeschooled and I guess because living in Lisbon and the weird "you gotta send your kids to Lisbon" mind set in this town he was against the idea. I told him to pray about it first before he said no. A few months later I checked in with him and he said no he had not prayed about it, but would. Well the end of 4 year old preschool was coming and since Trevor has a May birthday I was going to do AK with him anyhow to give him the extra advantage of being one of the older ones in his class and not having to struggle as much.

The more I prayed and did research on homeschooling the more I felt God calling me to do this for our kids. I talked with Darryl again and told him I can't mess up AK because I know my ABC, shapes, colors, numbers etc. He agreed and we would take one year at a time. I knew this first year had to be good and Darryl had to see that this was the best education our child could receive. Well, he did and we have been homeschooling ever since. We continue to take one year at a time and talk to the kids about what they want and if they want to try public school or not. I believe Trevor will graduate as being a homeschooler through the Marion Home School Assistance Program and with Alivia it is still up in the air.

When I was pregnant with Trevor I would have NEVER thought that I would be spending everyday, all day with my children by homeschooling. But it was not my plan but God's and He of course knew this is what we would do and this time changed Darryl's heart to accept that this was the best education for his kids and if people in this town don't understand who cares.

I'm sure a lot of people thought we were crazy and talked about us but I would rather have them do that then to go against God's calling. Then after we took the big leap of faith others watching us decided too as well. Now there are many homeschoolers in the Lisbon/Mt.Vernon area and the kids are able to get together and hang out.

These were the choices we made for our family with God's guidance. He doesn't give everyone or every Christian the same path but He will guide you on your path that He wants you to go. I didn't see this coming 14 years ago when I held that baby boy in my arms but I'm so happy for the path that we are on.

Today is a good day for you to seek God and see if you are on His path or your path. He with pray will make the answer very clear. The hard part for you maybe following the path He wants you to take. But it is SO worth it in the end.

New Year Parenting Resolutions..must read!

2011-01-05T16:21:00.000-05:00

Given that this is the first column of a new year, I'm proposing a number of parenting New Year's Resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means comprehensive. It's just a good beginning on what is probably a much-needed family revolution:

1. We will not throw expensive "event parties" for our children on their birthdays. Instead, we will confine all birthday celebrations to our family, including extended family. We will keep it uncomplicated: a special dinner of the birthday boy or girl's favorite food, a cake, the obligatory song, and a few simple gifts, mostly clothing or other useful things.

2. We will spend at least as much time helping our children develop good manners as do helping them get good grades in school, which means we will cut back significantly on the time helping with the latter (in consideration of the fact that good manners, which are expressions of respect for others, will take one further in life than will good grades). Each week, we will work on one specific social courtesy, such as saying "excuse me" when you walk in front of someone. Taking two weeks off, that's fifty courtesies a year!

3. We will show our love for our neighbors by properly disciplining our children, insisting on proper behavior, and reprimanding immediately (even if that means in front of other people) when they behave otherwise, and on those occasions we will also insist they apologize appropriately.

4. If we have not already done so, we will assign a routine of daily chores to each of our children (at least those who have reached their third birthdays) and we will insist that said chores be done, and done properly, before they engage in recreation or relaxation.

5. When our children ask us for cell phones, we will tell them that they may have cell phones when they are able to pay for them as well as the monthly bills.

6. When our children complain that they are the only kids who don't have cell phones (and do chores), we will tell them that learning how to be different is character-building.

7. Our children will not be able to order customized meals unless we take them to a restaurant. At home, they will eat what we are eating, and they will sit at the table until they are finished. We will do this so that when they are invited to eat at someone else's home, they will be the best of guests.

8. We will surely bond with our children, but we will not bond with them in the marital bed, nor will we bond with them in their beds.

9. In keeping with number 8, we will put our marriage first and our children second...for their sake as well as ours. They will revolve around us; thus, they will not grow up thinking the world revolves around them.

10. If I am a single parent, I will take good care of myself for my sake as well as my children's. I will have an active, adult's only, social life. I will take plenty of personal time to simply relax and do those things I like to do. I will do all of that so that my children will not ever think the world revolves around them.

11. We/I will put our/my children to bed early so that we/I can end each day reconnecting as a couple or relaxing as a single.

12. We will eat as a family around our own table at least six nights a week.

13. We will keep after-school activities to a minimum, and only let them enroll in activities that do not prevent us from delivering on number 11.

14. Instead of buying our children expensive things, we will help them develop hobbies and take them to museums and on trips.

15. We will do all of the above so that when they grow up, they will have wonderful memories of their childhoods and raise our grandchildren in a manner that honors us.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.

3 Radical Parenting Suggestions

2011-01-03T10:21:00.004-05:00

If you want your child to become a winner, then I have 3 radical suggestions:

1) So "no" to his/her request more often then you say "yes."
"No" is the most character-building two-letter word in the English language. Children who hear "no" sufficiently often learn to tolerate frustration. This tolerance enables them to preserve in the face of obstacles and adversity, and perseverance, need I remind you, is the essential ingredient in any success story. Whether the pursuit be vocational or avocational, social or spiritual, perseverance makes the difference between those who consistently reach goals and those who don't. It may sound strange to say, but if you want to help your child develop a successful attitude toward challenges of life, you must not be afraid to frustrate him.

2)Buy your child very few toys. Parents tell me that today's children complain of being bored more than they complain of anything else. This is new. Boredom was something I didn't know as a child, and I wasn't alone. I've asked countless numbers of people who raised children in the '40's and '50's, "Did your child frequently complain of being bored?" "No," is their answer.
Why not? Because when the people of my generation were children we didn't have a lot of toys. We had to learn, therefore, how to do a lot with relatively little. And that's what resourcefulness is all about.

3) Don't let your children watch much television, especially during their preschool years. The developmental skills that comprise and support the act of reading are acquired during the preschool years in the course of the most natural of childhood activities, play. Television-watching is neither a natural nor playful activity. It is passivity.

By John Rosemond book: "Because I said So!"

The end of 2010

2010-12-31T20:35:00.004-05:00

Well today is the last day of 2010. As I reflect on this year it has been a hard one. From about May-October our family went through different trials, and it seemed like one after the other. God was so very good to us to help and guide us through different things and showed us the path to take and let us know that He was there the whole time to help us through. We came through stronger as a family and thankful to have had such loving friends to talk to and have them pray for us.

On a happier note looking back at this year some great things happened. We were able to spend July 4th and Thanksgiving with family from Ohio. Darryl and I coached fall soccer and had a great time with the kids. From coaching Alivia made some non-christian friends whom are now going to AWANA with her. Trevor and I both detasseled for the first time and survived and will probably do it again next year. Alivia had an undefeated soccer season with Parks and Rec. she also played parks and rec. basketball for the first time and really liked it. So she has started in on another basketball team with many of the girls from parks and rec. My niece got married and again we were together as a family. Darryl celebrated in June, 25 years at Lloyd Table Company. We are very thankful for his job and the fact that I don't have to work and can stay home and school the kids. After saving for 2 years I was able to go back to NYC in October with the girls. We continue to see more new things and have a great time shopping. I went over to New Jersey and visited Carlos Bakery home of the TLC show Cake Boss and was able to bring home some cupcakes for the kids. In February Trevor was officially taller then Darryl. He continues to grow and I continue to have to buy him clothes and shoes because he keeps growing. Darryl celebrated his 30 year class reunion in August at Sauerkraut Days plus sold his prize possession his '63 Chevy II Nova that he had had for many years. I continue to run outside and since we had a great early spring I was able to get out of the gym and outside in March. I lost 10 pounds this spring/summer from running but found it to be a great stress release from the trials as most of the time I would pray during my 3 mile run. Darryl and I both did some 5K's and my time continues to improve. Darryl went to at least 1 Nascar race and then to a big gun show with some friends.
I'm sure there is more that I could write but they are not coming to mind. I'm glad that through the trials there were a lot of positive things happening and things that kept us all busy.

I'm truly thankful for my close friends and for those who love me in-spite of all my faults. I'm thankful to have 2 healthy wonderful children, a husband who loves me for better or worse which we had both this year, and for family who make me laugh when we are all together.

For 2011 I hope for there to not be so many trials in our lives , for continued health for my family, for my friendships to continue to grow stronger, for us to be able to stay on our budget and for all of us to grow in our faith.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year and that when you reflect back on 2010 I hope you too can have more positives then negatives in your life.

Happy New Year!!!!

Rules

2010-12-29T12:13:00.002-05:00

The successful rearing of a child is a matter of three simple rules, or understandings. These rules, as will become readily apparent, cannot be communicated to infants or young toddlers. Properly timed, the communication begins when a child is around eighteen months of age, give or take a few months. The introduction of these rules into a child's life almost invariably causes great consternation, to the point sometimes of rage. The reason for this is quite simple: There have been no rules at all to speak of before this time. Well, that's not exactly accurate. For eighteen months, the child has been led to believe the he rules. These three rules are not just new, however, but contradict the child's understanding of how the world works. They upset the child's applecart, so to speak, because the child had every reason to believe he ran the show, and would do so forever.
So, the child screams in protest of the rules, denies that his parents are capable of enforcing them, and does many destructive things to demonstrate his defiance. This upheaval goes by the popular term "The Terrible Twos." If parents "stay the course" through this much maligned stage, then by his or her third birthday, the child will have accepted that the rules are fixed, as in permanent.

First rule(from parent to child): "From this point on in our relationship, child of mine, you will pay much more attention to me than I will ever again, as a general rule, give to you."

Rule two: "You will do as I say."

Rule three: "You will do what I say not because of bribe, brutality, threat or persuasive explanation. You will do as I say because I say so. Period."

These three rules are indispensable to the parent-child relationship. They are the foundation of the child's "disciple-ship" and, therefore his or her later success in every dimension of life.

By John Rosemond

Life in the past

2010-12-20T10:22:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time, people got married, had children, and reared them. It wasn't something they spent a lot of time fussing and fretting over. It was just something they did, along with planting seeds in the spring and harvesting them in the fall. If they came up against a child-rearing problem, they sought advice from grandparents and great-aunts or older brothers and sisters who'd already started their families. These were the experts of not so long ago, and they gave practical advise based on real-life experiences.
Along came a war and then a baby boom. Young parents took their children and went looking for the promised land. From the ashes of the extended family rose an entirely different class of child-rearing experts. Ones with degrees, nameplates on their doors, and large, mahogany desks.
It wasn't long before rhetoric replaced reality as the primary shaper of our child-rearing practices. Nonsense replaced common sense. American families became child-centered, and American parents became permissive. And not surprisingly, American children became self-centered, self-indulgent, spoiled, sassy, and out of control. By John Rosemond in his book "Because I Said So".

I may be at church, Walmart, the mall, a sporting event, the movies or even family gatherings and I think what is the future going to be like with these kids running our country. I see parents whose lives revolve around their kids and their sports or other activities. When I help in the nursery I always put the same few kids in timeout and their parents never ask how they were that day. I see such lack of discipline and a lot of giving in. Saying No but never following through. I just had a conversation with my brother about this as he told his daughter no twice and then by the time I returned to the room she was doing in front of him what he told her no to twice. So I gave him parenting 101 advise and it's biblical as well. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Or you could add spare the rod spoil the child.
Parents you need to go back to common sense and stop listening to people with big mahogany desk. Listen to truth and do the correct thing. A great book is "Parenting By the Book" by John Rosemond that really gets into scripture and shows you what God's word says about children raising. Read it and get back to reality instead of raising your kids in a fantasy land where life revolves around them.

Grandparents dismay over undisciplined grandkids/Parents get off your butts and DO something about it!!

2010-12-14T12:11:00.003-05:00

This is a great question and answer. Some of you may have the kids that are wild and you don't take control of the situation. Or maybe you are the grandparents and have had it up to here with your children and lack of discipline. Sometimes for me it's my nephews. I think I do discipline at every family gathering as I see them hitting each other or their 2 year old cousin. The parents oblivious to what is happening in their own little world. My parents even direct their grandchildren to stop running or doing this or that with the parents right there not saying a thing. With Christmas coming this maybe of help for many of you....parents and grandparents.

Q: Help! Whenever our two adult children, their spouses, and our four school-age grandchildren (tweenagers, all) visit us, as they did this past Thanksgiving, chaos reigns. The children are nothing short of wild. They run, jump, and scatter toys and clothing all over the place, all with much yelling and screaming. They act like they're on vacation at a beach rental, and the parents do little to control the situation. We have tolerated this for some time now because we don't want to create discomfort for our guests. But we've pretty much had it. Do we talk to the parents or should we just discipline when we feel discipline is needed?

A: This can be the stickiest of wickets, one that I'm hearing about from an ever-increasing number of grandparents. Apparently, too many of today's parents fail to realize that proper parenting is an expression of love and respect for one's neighbors, including friends and relatives. Lacking such fundamental social awareness (they have some mass disorder, no doubt), they inflict their little (and sometimes, as in this case, not so little) terrors on everyone who is kind enough to let them in the door.

Willie and I laid down the law early on concerning grandchild behavior in our home. We told the kids that two rules prevailed: First, when in Rome do as the Romans do, and when the Romans come to you, do as the Romans do. Second, it is our job to spoil, your job to discipline; do not do our job and we won't have to do yours. That pretty much sums up the grandparent/parent relationship.

Thankfully, our kids were and are still on board with our expectations. We certainly aren't draconian, but things like running, jumping on furniture, loud noises, and disobedience (in any form) are not allowed. Those clear understandings make for much better visits for adults and children alike.

Were I in your shoes, I would take this issue up with the parents. If you react to the grandchildren's behavior out of the proverbial blue, and especially given the unfortunate precedents that have been set, you are likely to run afoul of parental protectiveness. Furthermore, you are not and should not be responsible for the discipline of your grandchildren. Their parents are responsible, and they should accept that obligation. Doing so is a matter of respect for you not to mention good guest etiquette (a word in danger of extinction).

Assuming you and Grandma are on the same page (Caution! Do not proceed unless that condition is satisfied!), talk to the parents. Tell them what bothers you and what your expectations are. No need to be critical, mind you. No need to imply that you don't approve of their parenting. Explain that the older one gets, the less tolerant one becomes of child chaos. It's true, unless one is blessed with hearing loss.

The parents, in turn, should convey your expectations, in no uncertain terms, to the grandchildren before they get in the car to come to your house and again in the driveway before everyone gets out of the car. They should make a further commitment to you that enforcement will not be in your court. And it really doesn't matter whether or not the parents agree with your expectations; they should back you unconditionally. That's one way parents teach children respect for adult authority.

The Laziest kid in America

2010-11-16T13:32:00.000-05:00

In their email to me, his parents call him "The Laziest Kid in America." The child in question, a third grader, hides his clothes rather than put them away properly (in truth, hiding them probably takes more effort), would sometimes rather poop in his britches than stop what he's doing and go to the bathroom, forgets to bring work to or from school almost daily, and is nasty to his parents when they don't give him his way. He's bright but his grades suffer because he doesn't do his work.

His mother says that he would love being confined to his room with books only because then he could be lazy all day, every day. He is currently on restriction with no after-school activities but doesn't seem to care. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard this story, etcetera.

This little guy is proof of the fact that of all the species on the planet, only humans have the capacity to act deliberately in ways that are clearly contrary to their best interests. He is also a living example of another, related, aspect of human nature: proper consequences do not always produce proper behavior. Thus, the battle-cry of many a teenager: "I don't care what you do to me!"

Obviously, these parents are not in denial concerning their son's problems. They are not enablers. They have punished him appropriately for his irresponsibility. Under the circumstances, his stubborn laziness can be regarded as a clever form of defiance. Without being assertive, he is nonetheless asserting that no one has authority over him; that no one can tell The Almighty Him what to do. The fact that his defiance is not outwardly defiant is what makes it so "slippery" and therefore so frustrating. Most definitely, only an equally clever and slippery response will do, one that transfers frustration from parents to child. Another way of saying this: At the present time, the monkey of the problem is on the parents' backs. This child will not learn to tame his monkey until it's riding his back.

A home visit from my old friend "The Doctor" is in order. I advised the parents to sit down with TLKIA and tell him they had spoken to a doctor about his problems, which they have now put in list form and affixed to the door of the refrigerator. The Doctor says that his problems are all symptoms of sleep deprivation. Some children need more sleep than others, he says. Some children have a very, very difficult time getting enough sleep, he says. These sleepy children do things like poop in their pants and forget school work. The Doctor says sleep-deprived children often talk-back at their parents, back-talk being the sort of thing sleepy people do without thinking. Interestingly enough, sleep-deprived kids are usually smart kids. The better the brain works, the more sleep a person needs.

The Doctor, after careful consideration, has said that this child must go to bed every night, seven days a week, lights out, at 6:30 in the evening until everything on the list has completely disappeared for one month. During this time, he cannot watch television, use a computer, or participate in any after-school activity. So, if every symptom of sleep-deprivation disappears for three weeks and then TLKIA hides his clothes instead of putting them away, the month starts over again. The perceptive reader may correctly surmise that this could take quite some time. That's true, but then this problem didn't develop overnight. I sense, furthermore, that these parents are just the people for the job.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.

Meloncholy Boy & Bragging Parent

2010-11-11T16:03:00.000-05:00

One of the defining beliefs of this technological age is that with enough ingenuity and perseverance, any problem can be solved. It's a mis-belief, actually, because problems that are a function of the human condition do not always respond positively to human effort. This recently came to mind as I contemplated two questions submitted by readers.

The first came from the mother of a pre-teen boy whom she described as "a melancholy mess-moody, unaffectionate, and negative." He has been a minor league misanthrope since early on in his life, and mom does not want him taking this problem with him into the majors. On the positive side, he's good-looking, athletic, and artistic. What can I do to help get him out of his funk? Mom asks, to which I answer probably not much. After all, she's been trying without success for at least a decade.

In the first place, it is not the responsibility of parents to solve all of their children's problems before said children reach adulthood and emancipate, nor is it realistic to think that can be accomplished, even with colossal parental effort. This is especially the case when the problem in question is related to a child's temperament, which the research strongly suggests is inborn (although not necessarily inherited).

We all reach adulthood with problems our parents could not have solved for us. At that point, one either rises to the challenge or not. And even with complete commitment, some problems of living are not ever going to be solved. One just has to learn to live with them and do his or her best to contain them such that they don't affect others. Again, this is simply the consequence of being born human.

So my advice to this mom is to accept that her son's melancholy is his problem, not hers, and to remember that while human love does not conquer all, it always benefits both the lover and the loved. Besides, this good-looking, athletic boy is about to enter his teen years, during which both of those characteristics are going to be mightily rewarded by his peers. It may well be that a couple of years of positive feedback from kids his own age will accomplish for this youngster what his mom and dad cannot hope to accomplish.

The second question came from a woman whose sister-in-law is forever bragging about her talented children and putting down other parents whose kids are not so blessed (or cursed, depending on one's point of view). My petitioner wants to know how to handle her seemingly egomaniacal relative. I say "seemingly" because a mother who lives her life through her children in this manner is obviously covering up deep-seated feelings of personal inadequacy. She may also be over-investing in her kids to avoid dealing with problems in her marriage. In any case, she needs to put some boundaries between herself and her children and claim a valid adult life for herself. The probability of her doing this, however, is slim. That's most unfortunate, because when her kids leave home and establish lives of their own, she is likely to be a very unhappy individual.

No one is going to be able to say anything to this woman that will cause her to experience sudden self-revelation. Therefore, I advised my writer to stay away from her toxic sister-in-law as much as possible; and when she can't avoid her, to ignore her; and when she can't ignore her, to regard her as an unfortunate who deserves compassion, all the more so because she doesn't realize she's being slowly destroyed from within.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.

Parenting a tweenage and teenager

2010-11-08T11:25:00.003-05:00

I've done different blogs about the book "Parenting By The Book" by John Rosemond and things that he has said that are true and helpful. Also I get his weekly column that gets published in many different newspapers around the USA.

Now I'm reading Teen-Proofing and it to is very good and I think I've included some stuff on Facebook about what he has said. So this morning as I'm reading it he is talking about kids and wanting the last word and how as parents we fight for us to have the last word and we don't need to engage our children in that but let them have the last word and just stick to your NO and leave but don't continue the battle. So that was really good and then he goes on about your children saying that they "hate" you in the heat of the argument and of course they really don't but they try to hit you where it hurts so you will change your no to yes.

Now the part I'm going to type to you from the book this is a direction our children are moving into that is wrong on behalf of the parents. I know I've said Trevor can live with us forever and do on-line college but that is because he is so easy of a child and very obedient to whatever we say. He is a rare breed. But our job as parents is to prepare them to leave. This to me is funny but true as I too loved my parents but didn't want to live with them for too long after high school. So here goes...........
" I once asked the 500 plus people in Nashville audience how many of you when you were teens truly liked your parents? Maybe 10 hands went up. This didn't surprise me because I didn't like my parents either when I was a teen. They annoyed me, inconvenienced me and made me angry on a regular basis. I couldn't wait to leave home, which simply means they did a good job of convincing me I could make a better life for myself than they were willing to make for me. "
"Today's parents, by all accounts, are not doing a very good job of convincing their children of this. When I was 20, I was married and on my own. The average age of economic emancipation in my generation was, in fact, 22 years old. Today, the average age is approaching 26. In my time, for a child to live at home well into his/her twenties was considered indication of something very odd in the parent-child relationship. Today it is considered normal."
"The researchers who discovered this trend were unable to explain it in terms of economics or the availability of jobs. They said, " The children of this generation have been given too much by parents who have been generally guilty of self-in-duced nearsightedness." (end of book)

Both my siblings and I were out of the house by 22 years old. I think I stayed the longest to age 21 years old. So mom and dad you did it right!! You prepared us the best you could to get out and make it on our own. Today's parents who still have teens at home need to start preparing them to leave and if your child is older then 22 and still living with you free of charge I guess you need to think about it and figure out a way for them to grow-up spread their own wings and fly away.

Reliving the 80's

2010-11-03T11:20:00.002-04:00

Ahhhh the 80's some great music was born and great musicians. We had rappers coming out of the hood,we wore leggings, big hair, and black rubber bracelets halfway up our arm. Guys started wearing make-up on and off stage and life was much different then today. Although we are seeing a lot of 80's fashions come back as fashion does recycle itself we also see someone else recycling himself. Who is this person you ask......Terry Brandstad.

Yes, Terry was Governor of this state in the 80's. I think a lot of the voters who got out and voted yesterday don't remember life in Iowa in the 80's when he was governor but I do and this is what I remember......

My dad was a union Ironworker and was struggling to work. Brandstad had raised taxes on of course the hard working middle class and he was NOT a friend to union workers across the entire state. While Brandstad was governor is the ONLY time I remember having to get food stamps because of the LACK of jobs in this state. My dad would sometimes be the only ironworker out in the bitter cold working when there was work to try to support his family. He would come home looking so cold and tired after a long day out in freezing cold weather. It was also at that time we had friends at church named Duane Cassill who had a used car dealership and he gave my dad a job to help him out in our time of need. Also I remember our church family bring over groceries and meals to help us out. It was not just us in the church struggling they saw many families in the congregation struggling. These were all hard working Christian men struggling to have jobs just to provide for their families.
And, no my parents didn't have debt besides a mortgage, they didn't use or have credit cards and had no other loans. It was not just my family, and many families (besides the rich with the great tax breaks) were struggling. Brandstad help make life hard for many Iowa families and definatley union laborers.
All I'm thinking now is hold on to your faith Shannon cause we I may see my family heading towards disaster and very tough financial situations depending on what Terry does and how much he raises middle class taxes. I pray he has learned from his many mistakes of the 80's and that he doesn't repeat the same mistakes and punishes the middle class so the rich can get richer. But I guess only time will tell what he will do.

For you, you may have voted for Brandstad, I guess in time we will see if you regret that decision. I know I was not happy with Chet as a governor and figured he would get beat by whomever republicans elected to run against him. It now has happened and I hope I end up with better memories of Brandstad this time around then the memories I have of him in the 80's cause they are bad memories and he did a terrible job in my book as a pre-teen/teen at the time and the struggle my parents went through just so we could have bread (sometimes we did eat bread, jelly and milk for supper)on the table I will NEVER forget!!

Punishment at School

2010-11-02T09:55:00.000-04:00

Q: Our son's fifth-grade teacher has recently sent home notes to the effect that our little darling isn't paying attention and is missing homework assignments. When I asked what in-school consequences he receives, I was basically told that he receives none unless I specifically so request. In other words, unless teachers inform parents of problems (which doesn't reliably happen), the problems go unpunished. When I hear of a problem, privileges are taken away for a week or more, and my son knows that if he brings home a report card with a bad grade or behavior report, privileges are removed for the next grading period. Is this appropriate, and what can I do to get the school to do their part?

A: To your first question, yes, what you're doing in response to being notified of problems at school is appropriate. You're my kind of parent, in fact, all the more so because you have the courage to hold your son accountable in a culture of excuses.

To your second question-what can you do to get the teacher to do her part?-my answer is "probably nothing." In all too many of America's public schools, and for a variety of reasons, classroom discipline is a farce. It's not that teachers don't want to discipline; it's that they are specifically prohibited from doing anything effective when a child misbehaves (In this context, I use the term to encompass both academic and behavioral misdeeds).

The problem (this should surprise no one) is lawyers and the law. For one thing, a school can be sued if a child is punished for behavior that is later discovered to be symptomatic of a disorder with which the child is supposedly afflicted. So if Johnny is punished in November for exposing himself to the class at recess, and the following March a psychologist determines Johnny has childhood bipolar disorder, Johnny's parents can sue school officials for victimizing Johnny. No, that was not lifted from a Joseph Heller novel; that is the real deal. As a consequence of institutionalized insanity of that sort, one of a principal's primary responsibilities is to keep the lawyers at bay. So, playing it safe, more and more of America's public schools are "discipline free zones."

Another aspect of the problem is that teachers report problems at great risk to themselves. Fifty years ago, parents were unequivocal in their support of teacher authority. All too many of today's parents, when they are informed of a problem, rise to their children's defense. Sadly, all too many of today's principals, when parents get upset, will not back their teachers. It's that "L-word" thing again.

Needless to say, children are no dummies. Even the child with a serious learning disability is quick to figure out that a school's discipline policy is a sham and that his parents are desperate to believe that he is incapable of dirty deeds (lest they have to deal with the horrifying implication that they are not perfect parents). And 'round and 'round we go.

As your son's teacher told you, you can specifically empower the school to punish him for not turning in assignments, not paying attention in class, and so on, but that begs the question: What, in the school's view, constitutes punishment? The teacher may not be permitted, even with your permission, to do anything more draconian than deprive your son of a smiley face sticker at the end of the day. In short, this is probably a losing battle on your part. Just do your duty at home and be thankful you won't be raising a child twenty years from now. This isn't going to get better any time soon.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his web site at www.rosemond.com.

Because...I said so!!!

2010-10-25T18:16:00.003-04:00

Matthew 5:37 (NJB) "All you need to say is Yes if you mean yes, No if you mean no; anything more than this comes from the Evil One.
I love this verse and it applies to many areas of our lives including parenting children. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave his disciples what is without question the most important of all leadership principles. Say what you mean and mean what you say!
So in parenting do your children know that your word can be relied upon, that it is the law? Do they know that beyond a shadow of a doubt when you say YES you mean nothing short of yes? Then also when you say NO do they know you mean NO?
More precisely:
When you tell one of your children that you expect him to do something, does he absolutely know that he is going to have to do it, that you absolutely WILL enforce your instructions? If you can answer that question with a yes then your child indeed knows your yes means yes. On the other hand, have you given your child reason to think that if he stalls long enough, complains loudly and dramatically enough, or begins to argue you may give up and do it yourself? If that is the case, then your child has learned that your yes really means "I wish you would".
When you tell your child that you will NOT let him do something he wants to do or give him something he desires, does he absolutely, without a doubt know that you mean what you have said? If so then your child has learned that your NO means No. Or does he believe that if he argues, cries pitifully, or begins ranting raving, and raging you are likely to give in, if not completely, at least partially? If that is the case, then you have taught your child that your no does not mean no but it means "I'd rather you didn't", I'd rather not or "Please don't make this difficult, okay?"
As the parent the problem is you not your child and you are the one who has to say what you mean and mean what you say and apply Matt. 5:37 to your parenting.
And as the parent you do NOT have to explain your position. If you need to say something make it short like 1) you're not old enough 2) you might get hurt 3) we don't have the money or won't use money for that 4) we don't have the time or we won't take the time for that 5) we don't believe in that and last 6) we don't like those kids. With your short answer to them be done turn around and leave or go back to what you were doing but continue to engage or argue with your child.
This is where "Because I said so" comes into play. You and your spouse are the leaders in your house and if you say what you mean and mean what you say, then because I said so is all your children need to know and they will know as well that you are serious and it is the end of discussion.
Do effective leaders do much explaining when it come to their decisions? NO, they do not. That is because leadership demands decisiveness. When people in leadership positions begin giving explanations, they look less decisive.
So this week work on your yes being yes and your no being no and don't get into the habit of explaining yourself especially to a 2 or 3 year old :)
This information is brought to you by "Parenting By the Book" by John Rosemond a must read for every parent.

10 Things the Bible Tells Me So

2010-10-22T10:37:00.004-04:00

I'm almost done reading Parenting by The Book by John Rosemond. It is a very good book for all parents to read to help get back to the basics of child raising and discipline based on what the Bible says. As Christians is that not what we want to do live by the Book. We too need to be the example to others around us and to our children to live by the Book. It is hard and we do mess up everyday. Or at least I mess up everyday but I do want to help me kids to understand the Truth of what God says, since the Devil has forces all around them trying to lead them in a different way. So today I'm talking from Chapter 9 called The Bible Tells Me So with Proverbs 3:5 as the verse.

The Bible has a number of things to say concerning the discipline of children. This stems from as the Bible tells us about the sinfulness of children. Children do NOT need to be taught how to misbehave; it comes naturally to them...agree? It's the positive influence of adults who are committed to the goal of raising a person of character that is essential.

1) Discipline and Love are Two Sides of the Same Coin: Prov. 3:12
The Bible says that discipline is an expression of delight in one's child. The more parents delight, the more effectively they discipline, and the more effectively they discipline the more they will delight. The Bible also says that parents who discipline their children properly are doing the Lord's work. So it goes without saying that more gratifying employment cannot be found.

2)Punishment is Never Pleasant but Produces Great Benefit for the Person Punished: Hebrews 12:11
The writer of Hebrews is saying is that if correction is not painful to the person corrected, it will have no effect. Two generations ago, parents had no problem making children feel bad when they did bad things. Today because of all the psycho babble going on we are taught 1)attempt to correct their children's misbehavior while 2)taking great care not to make their children feel bad. As a result of this teaching we now have many undisciplined children and mental health professionals enjoy higher standards of living.

3) Punishment is Essential to Proper Discipline: Hebrews 12:6
Today's parents do a lot of talking, reasoning and explaining to their children, when it comes to their bad behaviors. But the Bible says proper discipline, including punishment when appropriate, is an expression of love. Who do you believe? The Bible or the world??

4)Proper Discipline Validates a Child: Hebrews 12:8 If you are not disciplined....then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.
What's this? If a child is not disciplined, the child is not legitimate? It's the equivalent of saying that parental failure to discipline is a form of child neglect. As a mature individual is justified (validated) to God by his or her faith, a child is justified to society (turned into a functional citizen) through proper parental discipline.

5) Obedient Children are Pleasing to Their Parents: Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace;he will bring delight to your soul.
Everyone knows parents whose children are disobedient, sassy and so on. Do they seem at peace? Do they seem to delight in their children? Parents who are content with and in their parenting have children who are respectful, well-mannered, and obedient. The opposite is true as well: It never fails that parents who seem constantly under stress, exasperated, and worried have children who are ill-behaved. Those parents are convinced that their children's ill behavior is the cause of their stress, but that belief is a form of denial. The real problem is their lack of parental discipline!!! The Bible is clear that in order for a child to bring a parent peace rather then discord, the child MUST be properly disciplined.

6) Children are to Obey Their Parents: Colossians 3:20
God wants a relationship with us, but a relationship with God requires self-discipline. Parents who properly discipline their children are likely to raise self-disciplined children who have what it takes to become permanent citizens of the Kingdom. No wonder the obedient child is pleasing to the Lord.

7) Obedience will bring Blessings to Children: Proverbs 1:8-9
A parent who says, "I wish my child would obey me!" just doesn't get it. First, children don't grant adult wishes. Second, that parent wants his child to obey for his benefit; so that he won't be so frustrated and stressed out; so that he'll have more peace of mind. But the Bible clearly says that although parents are certainly blessed by children who are well behaved, the primary blessings of good behavior flow to the children themselves; good manners are like fine jewelry-they grace the person who "wears" them.

8) The Most Obedient Children are also the Happiest, Most Self-Respecting Children: Proverbs 15:32
The happiest parents always seem to have the most obedient children, and the most obedient children are the happiest children. Happiness abounds for those who are obedient, in large part because obedience to legitimate authority is not only a sign of respect for the person in authority, but also self-respect. Disobedient people, wherever they are found are never found happy. They are angry, sullen, malcontents who "despise themselves." Lacking respect for authority, they also lack self-respect. Which one of these people would you like your child to be?

9) A Lack of Discipline Contributes to Death - In the Everlasting Sense: Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.
Hope. No guarantees, just hope. Proper discipline sets a child on the right road, but it's up to him/her to see to it that he/she stays there - or finds his/her way back when they stray. But you need to get them started out on the right path by disciplining them now. Give the gift of Hope to your children!

10) Discipline is the Way to Life Eternal: Proverbs 6:23
Jesus made a bold statement that He is the "way and the truth and the life" (John 14:6). Through Him we are granted eternal life. In Proverbs, we are told two things; Discipline is the way to life, and the lack of discipline leads ultimately to death. That's how important discipline is!! Through proper discipline, a parent gives a child the greatest gift of all.

This is something I read from the book that I thought might be helpful to some of you out there. This is a great book and I highly recommend it for all parents. You do need to discipline your children not put them on medications. So much of the problems in the school system, and at home are from children who have no consistent discipline but God disciplines us as adults and He is our example and He clearly tells us in the Bible that we too are to Discipline our children that He has given to us. So are you still wanting to believe the world in how to raise your children or to the Creator of those children? It's a choice and the choice is yours.

Question & Answers by John Rosemond

2010-10-19T17:39:00.001-04:00

Q: My 10-year-old daughter has been asking for a year now to shave her legs. So far I have said no, mainly because putting a razor in the hands of a 10-year-old doesn't seem safe. Though she is small for her age and not even close to starting puberty, her legs really are quite hairy and she gets teased about them sometimes. I don't want to promote vanity, but I hate to see her self-conscious over something that is simple to fix. Is it totally inappropriate for a girl her age to be shaving her legs? If so, what would be a more appropriate age? Also, can you recommend a particular brand of razor, or should we use chemical hair removers and avoid razors altogether?

A: Your daughter is entering a time in her life when self-consciousness becomes problematic and other children can be extremely cruel. The cruelty is actually a way of compensating for one's own insecurities. Given that this is the personal and social reality your daughter is now dealing with, I encourage you to let her shave her legs. Having never shaved my legs, I consulted with my wife, Willie, on this. She recommends that you first show your daughter how to use hair-removing cream and then provide her with an electric razor until she is older. I use an electric for evening touch-ups and recommend a good rotary. Stay away from inexpensive off-brands. They aren't worth it.

Q: Our 10-year-old daughter goes back and forth between our house and her mom's. Our homes are run very differently. Bio-Mom gives her everything she wants (cell phone, expensive computer, TV and DVD in her room, etc). In our home we have chores and rules. We also discipline her, especially when she is disrespectful, which is often. Just recently, after an up-and-down day, we listened in on a phone call between her and her mother. Her mother told her she would call later and tell us a lie about why she needed her to come home right away. They laughed at how they were going to pull the wool over our eyes. To me as the stepmom it makes all perfect sense why our 10-year-old doesn't respect us. Any advice?

A: Indeed, it makes perfect sense. If the phone call is typical, then this is a mother who is trying to be her daughter's best friend. That is incompatible with being an authority figure, so the only discipline your daughter ever experiences is at your house. And of course she resents it. And of course she complains about it to her best friend, and of course her best friend becomes an enabler. And the wheel keeps on turning.

Let's be realistic. Will it be possible for you to have a rational discussion about these issues with this very immature mother? Nope. Can you, therefore, hope to solve this child's disrespect of adults who act like adults? Nope. Nonetheless, should you punish her when the disrespect occurs? Absolutely. Never give up. Never surrender. Understand, however, that while discipline is appropriate, it's not going to solve the problem.

There are, in fact, some problems that just aren't solvable. They are, at best, tolerable. I think you're going to have to figure out a way to tolerate this until your daughter grows up, which may another thirty years. In the meantime, my best advice is "grin and bear it."

By the way, some people may think it was inappropriate of you to "bug" the phone conversation. I do not. Wiretapping laws do not extend to 10-year-olds.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.

No discipline in school...What!

2010-10-12T10:10:00.000-04:00

The National Association for the Education of Young Children and I don't see eye-to-eye on many things-maybe anything. We don't even agree on a definition of "child." For example, they believe children are capable of being reasoned with. I believe that if a person is capable of being reasoned with, he or she is no longer a child.

NAEYC certifies preschool education programs, and their standards, as one would expect, reflect their philosophy. They will not give a program their seal of approval if it punishes children who do bad things. Why? Because children do not do bad things. According to one of NAEYC's publications, they simply "make mistakes in their behavior." In other words, when a child does the wrong thing, it is not intentional. Really? I was a child once. When caught, I was rather clever when it came to appearing that "I didn't mean it." Adults who believed me did me no favors.

A North Carolina preschool teacher recently told me their director informed her and her colleagues that time-out is being phased from the classroom because it is a form of "shaming." Instead, they are to re-direct the misguided child to a more positive activity. A week after being so informed, said teacher reprimanded a toddler who was beating on another child. No punishment, just a reprimand. The director scolded her for being too negative. I feel certain the director did not appreciate the irony.

Another teacher in the program came up with the idea that children who followed classroom rules would get a prize at the end of the day. A child became upset that she didn't get the prize. The director told the teacher to apologize to the child for singling her out and to give her the prize. This child has thus been moved one step further toward incurable narcissism. This is the stuff of trying to become certified by NAEYC.

One of NAEYC's papers (http://www.naeyc.org/files/tyc/file/Gartrell%2001.pdf) says that "punishments such as time-outs confuse young children because they cannot easily understand the sequence of behaviors during and after a conflict nor what removal to a chair has to do with them." That sentence confuses me, so I'm fairly certain it's an example of pure, distilled psychobabble. The same paper goes on to assert that time-outs cause children to feel ineffectual, prevent them from developing alternative strategies, lower their self-worth, and are bewildering because young children have difficulty figuring out cause-effect relationships. Psychobabble is any assertion that cannot be verified by the scientific method. All of the preceding fits that definition.

Concerning shame, it is dysfunctional when it is either excessive or absent. But when a child misbehaves, he should feel ashamed. Young children are incapable of feeling shame on their own; therefore, they need responsible agents (i.e. adults) to help them feel it. This process is essential to proper socialization; to an appreciation of the effect one's behavior has on others.

Concerning children, I know that back in the parenting dark ages, when children knew they were going to be punished for misbehaving, they were far more likely to behave. That is why a teacher in the 1950s had no problem teaching 50 or more first-graders without an aide (of the 1950s first grade class sizes I've come across, 95 is the record so far, and the woman who taught that leviathan remembered no significant discipline problems).

Today's teachers are dealing with classroom behavior problems that would have astounded our great-grandparents. NAEYC ought to be ashamed for contributing to this problem...but they won't be. They don't believe in shame.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions on his website at www.rosemond.com.

School grades and Parents

2010-10-06T12:49:00.000-04:00

One of the differences between parents of the 1950s and today's is that the former did not care what grades their children made in school. Mind you, they insisted that their children do their best, but if a child's best was average, his parents accepted that and did nothing to make him look like a better student than what he was. Today's parents, as a lot, seem to have great difficulty accepting less than A's on their children's report cards. As a consequence, they are found doing all they can to create the outward impression that their children are a cut above in the achievement department.

Doing one's best is a character issue. When a parent does her best to insure good grades on her child's report cards, the report cards may in fact look good, but the child suffers in the long run. He never learns to do his best. He is disadvantaged, therefore, when faced with difficult problems. He never even really learns what he is capable of and becomes increasingly dependent upon his parents to solve problems for him. In short, while his grades do not suffer (in the short run), his character certainly does.

It appears that the zeal to have one's child identified as gifted and talented and placed, therefore, on an advanced and accelerated track in school is misplaced. A newly-released study finds that only 3 percent of gifted and talented children live up to their potential. The study's author, educational psychologist Joan Freeman, tracked 210 gifted children into adulthood and discovered that only 6 achieved a level of vocational success commensurate with their abilities.

To what did Freeman attribute this underachievement? Overinvolved, pushy parents who end up robbing their children of their childhoods. By all appearances, these kids are high achievers, but they are often not well-founded, especially when it comes to social skills.

"The pleasures and creativity of childhood are the basis of all great work," Freeman writes. She cites one child who was considered a math prodigy. As an adult, he has failed to find any satisfying work and is currently working at a fast-food joint, flipping burgers. It appears that drive, personality, and social skills are as critical to success as ability, perhaps moreso. Needless to say, drive cannot develop if someone else is doing the driving.

The day after this study was released I was in Connecticut doing my usual public-speaking thing. I built much of my first talk around it, in an attempt to help the overachieving moms in the audience step back from the insanity they've bought into and find lives of their own outside of the role of mother (and help their children discover the true pleasures of childhood in the process).

After the talk, a mom came up and told me that prior to having children she had worked in the admissions office of a prestigious New England private college. A disproportionate number of students at said college come from the rolls of gifted and talented programs.

"These young people are often lost without their parents' constant help and validation," she said. Their parents coach them through every difficulty, help them with their homework via the Internet, and stand ready to confront any professor who dares gives them less than A's.

To paraphrase something my stepfather was fond of saying: An impressive transcript and a dollar will buy you a cup of coffee.

2 Year old won't eat much just wants milk

2010-09-30T09:36:00.000-04:00

Q: My 2-year-old daughter eats a few bites of supper each night and then wants milk. So I give her milk. Then she refuses to eat anything else. We take the milk away and attempt to bribe her to take a bite of this or a bite of that. Sometimes we make her something else to eat, something we know she likes. What can we do to get her to eat without hassles? I know that giving her milk before she's finished everything on her plate makes no sense, but I'm afraid that if I don't, it may lead to future eating problems.

A: The worry that not giving your daughter milk when she asks for it may eventually cause her to develop an eating disorder is a prime example of what I call a "psychological boogeyman"-an unfounded fear that paralyzes a parent's ability to think clearly about an issue and therefore his or her ability to act effectively. You're hardly alone in this regard. I estimate that at least 90 percent of America's parents (mothers, mostly) are infected with one or more of these diabolical psychological viruses.

You're making a mountain out of an anthill. Wouldn't everyone's lives be simpler and therefore happier if you simply give your daughter milk when she wants milk? Yes, they would. Milk is not the problem; you are. I'm sorry to have to tell you this so bluntly, but newspapers don't give me enough space to be warm and fuzzy about such things. Besides, I'm a man, and my genes prevent me from being very sensitive.

If your daughter was not thriving, she would be symptomatic: dark half-circles under her eyes, lethargy, a distended tummy, and so on. In the absence of symptoms, one is forced to conclude that nutrition is not an issue. Some toddlers eat like small horses, some eat like birds (a bad, albeit popular, analogy, since most birds eat huge amounts of food relative to their body weights). In either case, these toddlers thrive. Besides, processed milk is full of good vitamins like D. (Personally, I'd give her nothing but organic milk, which can be had at just about any chain grocery.) If you want to add some insurance into the equation, give her a chewable multi-vitamin every day.

Problems of this sort reinforce my belief that very young children should not be sitting at the "big table" for family meals. The arrangement is a set-up for parents to begin cajoling (and when that fails, attempting to force) a child to eat. The child in question becomes the focus of everyone's attention at the table and learns that she can manipulate her parents by refusing to eat what they want her to eat. The learning in question takes place intuitively, not consciously, but the end result is the same: family meals that are not pleasant for anyone.

Put a plate of bite-size fruits and veggies (carrot sticks, cucumber slices, orange wedges, dehydrated apple slices, and so on) out for your daughter to snack on during the day. Thirty minutes before you and your husband sit down to eat, put your daughter at the table (or a smaller, child-size table, which kids generally love) with her dinner (a smaller version of what you're eating). Let her eat what she feels like eating, then give her milk, then let her down, at which point you and your husband sit down to a peaceful, child-free time of conversation.

When she's older and has developed a more ecumenical palate, have her join you. In the meantime, enjoy!

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions at www.rosemond.com.

2010-09-21T12:52:00.002-04:00

The Marion Homeschool Program was able to have a guy named John Rosemond come and speak. John has written quite a few books and has the "old school" way of parenting. More closely to the way your parents and grandparents were raised. When there was authority in the house and the house was run by the parents not the kids. He was very funny and very good. I signed up to read his weekly column which is published in I think 25 newspapers around the USA. I will probably put his column on my blog and Facebook page each week as it is very good information for us parents today. Here is this weeks article:

The notion that adults should do all they possibly can to advance the self-esteem of children is dying a slow but hopefully unavoidable death. Research done by a number of objective folks, most notably Roy Baumeister at Florida State University, has clearly shown that high self-esteem is closely associated with anti-social inclinations. Unfortunately, it's taken more than a decade for the research in question to bridge the gap between academia and popular culture. At this writing, two generations of parents were persuaded to devote themselves to creating child-rearing environments that were rich in praise and reward but lacking in reality, elevating their children to idol status in the process.

Thankfully, I am a member of the last generation of American kids who were not allowed to possess high self-esteem. My mother and later her second husband did all they could to repress my Inner Brat, for which I am most grateful. (I did not, however, appreciate their efforts at the time.) When I had an outburst of high self-esteem, one of them would tell me I was "acting too big for my britches" and needed to size myself to the psychic garment in question before they were forced to lend me a literal hand.

Then there were those occasions when, without reprimand, one or the other of them would say, "It would be good for you to always remember that no matter what you accomplish in this world, you are really just a little fish in a big pond." It's very helpful for me to remind myself of this on a regular basis.

Everyone in my generation heard these very healthy things from their parents. I estimate that there are less than ten parents in America who say these psychologically incorrect things today. Today's typical parent seems to think his/her child is the only fish in the pond worth noticing, which is really too bad for his/her child. It's bad for all of us, actually, because the research also finds that the higher a person's self-regard, the lower his regard for others. (It is also noteworthy that high self-esteem puts the individual at high risk for bouts of severe depression.) People with high self-esteem want to be paid attention to and served. They believe in their entitlement. On the other hand, folks with high regard for others pay attention to others and look for opportunities to serve them.

It is unarguable that culture is best served, preserved, and advanced by folks who fit into the latter category. Entitlements weaken, and a culture-wide entitlement mentality weakens the entire culture. Along these lines, every single manager, employer, and supervisor with whom I've talked in the last decade or so has told me that today's young college graduates, by and large, are not looking for work; rather, they are looking for benefits packages (i.e. entitlements). They can't handle criticism, I'm told. They are loathe to do more than "the minimum," yet they expect promotions. The list of high self-esteem symptoms goes on and on. This is corrosion. It threatens America's future.

Raising a child who possesses high other-regard simply requires that parents do what our great-grandparents did. They put their marriages first, not their kids. They gave their children all that they truly needed and very little of what they simply wanted. They assigned daily chores from age three on. They expected their children to always do their best, in whatever setting. Their beds were for adults only. They rarely helped their kids with their homework. They did not serve them individualized dinners. Family came first, not after-school activities. And so on. This parenting paradigm is as workable today as it was when I was a child.

In fact, a small number (but I sense it is slowly growing) of parents have made the conscious decision to create this retro-revolution in their families. Surely, they are salt of the earth.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions at www.rosemond.com.

Detasseling...Where to start???

2010-07-24T16:11:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was my last day of detasseling and let's just say I should have made a detasseling diary everyday to share a story with you. But I was tired and my brain was done thinking by the end of the day so I didn't. But let's see what I can remember.

I went with others to driving school and the first day learned with about 5 minutes practice how to drive a detasseling machine. So basically it's more on the job training. But got paid for it.

Day 1: I was with another new driver and also someone who had never detasseled before so I was not sure of what the kids were even pulling. We had a short tempered, regular driver with us. The other guy Alan was up first to drive and Zach was helping. Zach didn't have patience with the new kids or Alan and did a lot of yelling in a not nice way. We switched and it's my turn to drive, I told Zach that he better not be yelling at me because all of this is new to me. Let's just say my tone and matter of fact attitude I had let him know I was not going to be treated like an idiot like he treated Alan and he was pleasant with me the whole day. I told Darryl about what a jerk he was in general, and that I let him know not to mess with me. So for me my day went well for Alan and some of the other new kids not so much. Not a very nice welcome to detasseling day 1.

Day 2: One of the kids on our machine from the previous day didn't show up. This was also this kids first day and Zach did a lot of yelling at him and eventually had him go on another machine because he didn't want to deal with him. Basically the kid is a VERY good kid he just kept missing tassels but everyone else did as well, I mean it was the first day and we were all just learning. Anyway I saw this kid later and was encouraging him and telling him that Zach in general is a big jerk and think he knows everything and that this kid was doing a good job and not to let what Zach said or did bother him because he is a jerk. Right before I was going to bed that night the doorbell rings, it was this kid and his mom and they came to say thank you to me for encouraging him and letting him know that he was doing good. They even brought me flowers, Very Sweet!

Day 3: I believe with all the rain I got my machine stuck twice. Once I was able to get it out and the next time needed help because I stuck in a muddy waterway :( I can't remember if anything else happened.

Day 4: Now I have been driving by myself since day 3 I think, and so I was still learning on when you finish a field where do I back up to restart and come down. Before I would basically just drive down to the end and then stop the machine climb down and have Trevor stand in the the row I needed to drive back in. So on this day there were a few other tractors and we were all finishing up around the same time. They waited for me before they could move their tractors so no one hits anyone else. Well I stop my machine and start to climb down and Joey a 16 year old kid whose dad has helped Rawley for 20+ years yells loudly "Oh My Go*" , and I yell back "Shut-Up"!! So I climbed down, set Trevor to my next spot and climb back up, I think it took a whole minute. We stop for water break as well as did Joey. So I walk over to Joey and tell him to never yell at me again like that, that I'm still learning and I was making sure I had the right spot and if he has a problem with it then to bad . This was only the beginning of my problems with this punk teen that I've known since he was little. His show off job was not impressing me!! Another driver Tina explained to me how the rows of corn were planted so that way I didn't have to have Trevor stand there for me. That had never been explained before and then from then on I was able to count the different rows and never needed Trevor to stand for me again.

The next problem I had with Joey was one day this week Rawley told kids to go with the drivers they had yesterday and get on a machine. I was towards the back and so kept on walking down until I found an empty tractor. My kids get on and I start to climb up, only to hear Joey saying hey that's my machine. I say no it's not it was open and I took it. He freaks out and says that it is his machine and that he is driving it. Joey is similar to Zach and can't seem to talk to anyone in a normal voice but has to project his testosterone by being loud in voice. I say fine and tell my crew to come with me we are going to find another tractor. He says hey you are taking all the kids. I say yes they want to ride with me not with you. Which is true! I had a posse of 7 kids that would find me everyday and stand right beside me so they didn't have to ride with any other drivers :) Then the last problem today. We were all finished and on the bus and Joey was giving Blow Pops to kids on his crew. He was holding them somewhat out and a girl took one from him. He tells her a few times give it back or I'll break your wrist. I'm the next seat back watching this all unfold. He keeps trying to get it back and she is messing with him and doesn't give it to him.
I see him grab her wrist and twist a little and so I join in and tell him if he hurts her or leaves a bruise I will call the cops and he will be taken away to juvenile detention. He then proceeds to argue with me that she would go as well for stealing his sucker and I tell him no she would not but he would for leaving marks. He continues to argue with me (total disrespect) and I say fine call Ricky Scott (our police chief) when you get home and ask him. He did let go of the girls wrist as soon as I said something and she did give him his 10 cent sucker back. But he has been very disrespectful to me, in any interaction that we have had. So I'm done with Joey.

Also throughout the weeks I've told kids to watch their mouths because their is constant swearing on the buses. One day our tractor got back later and I had to sit towards the back of the bus and had to tell a 14 year boy to change the subject of this gross sexual story he was telling. I would say about 40% of the kids were good kids the others I was dumbfounded by their mouths which was full of swearing and talking about sex and most were 14 years old. I think Lisbon School needs to have some etiquette classes mandatory for these kids. It was as bad as what I thought it would be. I'm sure it was like this on the Mt.Vernon bus as well, but I rode on the bus mostly of Lisbon kids.

Now the last day: I thought I would be detasseling and not driving but Rawley didn't have enough drivers show up so, I drove and we finished checking the last 2 smaller fields on Sunday.

All in all for me it went well. Some days it was so hot and the whole bus smelled like B.O. and other days you brought home a pound of mud on yourself. It was a quick way to make cash and the work itself is not hard. The hardest part for me was getting up early and working out in the fresh air for 6-9 hours a day. The Sun is a killer and I preferred it being overcast and even raining on me as opposed to it being sunny and 83. But I made the money I needed to send Trevor to camp, have money for NYC and to go to Alabama to see my parents this January or February. I worked a total of 12 days and Trevor a total of 10 days.

As for next year Rawley wants me to return and I might just depending on a lot of things. But my first year of detasseling/driving a tractor was a success!

Bringing Up Girls Chapters 13 & 14

2010-07-08T15:45:00.005-04:00

Sorry I know it has been awhile but hey I've been busy. So here is some more info. from Dr.Dobson's book Bringing Up Girls. I do recommend that if you have girls you check it out and read it and if you have boys you read Bringing Up Boys.
Chapter 13: Related Questions and Answers
This Chapter is filled with questions and answers. Questions like explaining how girls and women have such a big influence on men, same age co-ed sports, working or staying at home, child care facilities and what to be aware of, sleepovers, sex abuse, defiant child, etc. It was an interesting chapter.

Chapter 14: The River of Culture
Our culture today is like a powerful river that carries everything down stream. We must help protect and teach our children from being swept away by the current into unknown waters.
Some of these teaching of our culture as being "normal" not wrong are, early sexual experience is healthy, men and women are equal, modesty is old fashioned, homosexuality-bisexuality and heterosexuality are considered morally equivalent, romance has faded and men no longer have a reason to court women, shacking up or living in sin is the better way etc.
Dr. Dobson talks about two books that are must reads if you want to understand and protect your girls from those who would subvert their moral character. They are "A Return to Modesty", and "Girls Gone Mild" by Shalit and "Prude" by Liebau.
The rest of the chapter talks about things in this book and how the culture today is having a huge negative impact on our daughters.
Then it goes on about an assemble at a school to talk about Sex, Teens and Drugs. The speaker encourage students to have sex and also to use drugs appropriately. One girl stood up and told the speaker in front of all her peers how that he was wrong in saying these things. This girl was of course teased and bullied. Her parents went to the school administrators and board and they defended the speaker who told students to have sex and use drugs.
My note: As parents you NEED to know what is going on in your school district and what is being taught to your children. The public school system doesn't OWN your child/children you are in charge and therefore should be proactive in the school system. Having them taken out of assemblies or sex education classes that disagree with the Bible and how you have been teaching your children. I'm glad I do homeschool and I think the Lisbon School District may be glad that I homeschool. Beings that now from homeschooling I have learned a lot of the ins and outs of the public government run school system I would be a force that would be on them a lot! My children I call the shots!! Get involved if your kids are in public school and know what they are being taught. It's your job as they parent!
OK Done with my rampage :) Plus I know homeschooling is not for everyone and it is a decision you have to pray about. But if you are sending your children to public school please know what they are being taught.

Chapters 11 & 12

2010-06-11T10:24:00.004-04:00

Chapter 11 : Cinderella At The Ball
This chapter is dedicated to a Purity Ball. Randy and Lisa Wilson started these balls and they have had great impacts on fathers and daughters. The web site is www.generationsoflight.com. The Wilsons have been on the Today Show, ABC World News Tonight, Dr. Phil, Good Morning America, The View, The Tonight Show and The Tyra Banks Show. Articles about the Purity Ball have been published in Glamour, O, the Oprah Magazine, USA Today, Denver Post, Rocky Mountain News, New York Times and many others.
The father daughter Purity Ball is a ceremony for fathers to sign commitments to be responsible men of integrity in all areas of purity. The commitment also includes their vow to protect their daughters in their choices for purity.
In this chapter Dobson has an interview with Lisa and Randy about their lives and daughters and to the effects fathers have on their daughters choice to remain pure.

Chapter 12: The Obsession With Beauty
The chapter starts out by talking about little girls wanting to be princesses. And thanks to Walt Disney and movies like Cinderella, Snow White, Ariel, Pocahontas, Sleeping Beauty, etc. girls are taken in with the princess fantasy....but why??
1) Beauty: Every girl wants to be considered physically attractive.
2) Song: Every Disney Princess has a beautiful voice.
3) Beautiful Clothes: Princesses wear lovely gowns in bright colors and little girls love to mimic that attire. That's way they only make Cinderella's gown to sell and not her ripped, old cleaning clothes. Just go to a Disney Park and you can see all the dressed up Princesses.
4)Handsome Suitors: A princess is always pursued by an attractive male prospect, and he is usually a Prince.
5) Rags to riches: They may have different story lines but in the end they all end up in a castle with the man of their dreams and with riches galore. Not in a trailer park on food stamps (my side note).
6)Happily Ever After: This is true for every Disney Princess ,unfortunately not for the rest of us. We have to live in the real world full of sin, temptations, selfishness and we all have problems.
7) Dreams Coming True: A princess expresses her wishes and dreams early in the show and they always seem come true in the end.

The princess movement is good for many young girls/women. With all the other stuff going on in the media, fashion, and with celebrities they may like Disney princesses provide a safe haven for them. The princesses provide a model of purity until marriage, and modesty.
Dr. Dobson goes on to talk about all the backslash from the feminist movement. If you are a true feminist you should read this otherwise their ideas and thoughts are dumb and not worth me repeating :)
Dr. Dobson then moves into our culture and it's obsession with beauty. He wrote a book Building Confidence in Your Child and quotes some information from that. He talks about how body image and being beautiful are all around girls/young women. They see images everywhere which is telling them what they should look like. He also contrast that with the stories of Farrah Fawcett and how she died of cancer in 2009 and how the toll of this cancer had on her outside looks. Also of the story of Anna Nicole Smith who dies of a drug overdose in 2007. Extreme beauty can be a curse to those who are gifted with it and struggle dealing with the attention it gives them.
He ends the chapter with a story that led to the Dove campaign launch of Real Beauty in 2005. Senior Vice President of Dove said " By questioning the accepted definition of beauty, we hope to help women change the way they perceive their bodies and encourage them to feel beautiful every day."

Chapter 9 & 10

2010-06-10T16:52:00.006-04:00

Chapter 9 Why Daddies Matter
OK, I'm back with it again, finding time to read :) There is a place in the female soul reserved for Daddy, or a daddy figure, that will always yearn for affirmation. Your daughter will adore her father if he loves and protects her and if she finds safety and warmth in his arms. The fawning attention of a father for his daughter prepares her for her uniquely feminine role as a girlfriend, fiancee and wife. If there is something lacking in your relationship with your father when you were a child, the development of your femininity suffered the most. There is a book called Always Daddy's Girl which addresses the matter of a woman's sense of identity.
Dr. Dobson recall things he did with both of his kids both good and not so good and of the good the cherish memories he has of fun times with each kid. Some years ago they asked radio listeners to call in a record a message for their dads. They had 600 people call in and of those messages not one of them focused on the fathers profession, money that he made, a big house, expensive cars etc. Instead it was thanks for loving me, being there for me, and supporting me.
Dobson includes two sad stories of daughters and their relationships with their fathers.
In general the family dynamics for a man goes as follows: first it is his wife. The man needs to meet the needs of his wife. Next is the sons. Fathers need to teach their boys how to be men. So usually daughters end up third in line for daddy's attention. Men sometimes see this yearning from their daughters for attention and view it as woman's work or the mother's job.
Dobson offers three different ways for father's to make the connection with their daughters 1-Conversation: Spend time talking with them. Girls and women connect emotionally through spoken word. Girls feel abandoned by fathers who won't engage them verbally. Next is Touch: daughters need touch or hugs very day from their daddies. However sometimes when a girl reaches puberty father's have a hard time giving those hugs. During puberty your daughters are going through times of insecurity and they desperately need you and your hugs. The final suggestion is spend one on one time with your daughters. Go to the park, a bike ride, dinner, ice cream or whatever but spend time with them.
Chapter 10 : Fathers To Daughters
This Chapter is full of proverbs written by Harry Harrison called "Father to Daughter: Life Lessons on Raising a Girl. There are many pages of these proverbs I will share with you just a few.
Take part in her life now. Don't wait until she is 15 to try and develop a relationship.
Her mom will show her how to bake cookies. You show her how to dunk them.
Be prepared to watch Disney movies with her some 200 times. Each.
Never, ever make fun of her.
Make her a Valentine's day card, every year.
Ask her about her day-everyday.
Never laugh at her dreams.
Make sure she can reach you 24 hours a day.
You will have to teach her how to drive...without making her cry.
Don't let her moods or anger push you away. She needs you now more than ever.

There are many many other great proverbs listed in this chapter.

Memorial Day memories

2010-05-30T10:16:00.003-04:00

I asked Darryl if he remembered what happened 21 years ago this weekend and also 20 years ago this weekend. I was surprised that he did.
21 years ago on this weekend Vernon and Betty Studt invited my parents to come out to Darryl's cabin in Ivanhoe to celebrate the holiday. At this point I just finished up my junior year of high school and don't remember if I really wanted to go but did. We get down there and to my surprise Darryl was lookin' good. I didn't remember him from living in Lisbon because I was so young when we lived here and he was starting his teen years. But he had his girlfriend Charlie down there and I was dating a guy from work at the time.
Then a year later and all had changed. Pat and I had broke up and so when the invite came to go visit the Studt's again, I thought I would go with my mom and dad to see if Darryl was still with Charlie or not. I head to Mt.Vernon and found out that he too was single. Now I had just graduated from high school and Darryl was celebrating 10 years out of high school. My gosh I was young! It was a fun day and I invited Darryl to graduation party happening sometime later that week.
He did show up and then we dated for a year and a half and were engaged for a year and a half.
And so on this weekend 20 years ago I met my husband. Wow how time flies!!

Bringing Up Girls Chapters 7 & 8

2010-05-21T10:17:00.004-04:00

Chapter 7: Girls and Their Mothers
He opens by telling a story of a 7 yr. old strong-willed girl Hannah. Her and her mom were having a bad day when Hannah said "You know, Mom, this just isn't working out. I want a new mother."
Her mom told her that she could arrange that and that she of someone who would love to have another child. She went to the phone pretended to dial and talk and ask this fake person if they would like another child. Hannah's bluff backfired as she immediately ran to her mom and said "No no,no, Mom! Let's give it another shot."
As moms we need to stay in touch with our daughters emotionally. You have to hang in there until the upheaval passes. Your child's successes or failures in many life's endeavors will depend on the quality of the relationships you share during their childhood years.
The attachment theory: He talks about neurology stuff similar to Chapter 4 and then adds more on to it. Then he goes on saying how your baby needs you to look at her, and talking to her. If this doesn't happen in the early years children will have problems later on in life. It has been demonstrated that the failure of mothers and babies to attach is linked directly to physical and mental illness of all types.
So the opposite happens when the mother is nurturing, loving and a part of her babies life. She will talk to the baby , comfort them, nurse them, sing to them etc. From this the bond begins to form. It will establish a foundation for all that lies ahead.
Moms, you provide the cornerstone of healthy child development.
The establishment of attachment between generations is made much more difficult for boys and girls because of dramatic changes in our culture. Before the Industrial revolution, father and mothers worked side by side on farms or in family-owned businesses. They raised their children together, and except for men in the military or those who sailed the seas, most dads lived and worked close to home. Just as Joseph was a carpenter so was Jesus (Mark 6:3 & Matt. 13:55). We assume that Mary was a full time homemaker living nearby. That family home structure is now rarely seen. Only in the last 100 years have fathers left home all day to make a living. Now approximately 51% of mothers are also employed full-time in the workforce. Plus most children now a days are taught for 8 hours by men/women other then their parents. Unless you choose to homeschool you are not able to spend all day everyday with your children as it once was.
For women there is enormous pressure to "go back to work". Only about 42% of mothers take off 3 months after giving birth. Many return within a month or six weeks. I would recommend that mothers take at least a year off birth to heal, bond and establish a family routine.
He goes on to talk more about the working outside the home and your heart wanting to be at home internal conflict that many women go through.

Chapter 8: Young Women Talk About Their Fathers
This Chapter and next have to deal with fathers. It was very interesting and it made me cry in different places. It will be hard to say everything these young ladies said but I will try to give highlights of both positive and negatives.
Dr. Dobson held a get together with young ladies at college age to help him with writing this book. He told them that he had heard this comment given many times by young ladies "My father is a good man. He worked hard to earn a living for our family, and he's been faithful to my mother (others said just the opposite). Still, I never that he really admired or wanted to be close to me. He was very, very, very busy doing what he did, but he didn't have time for me. I felt like I was just there around the house, but he often didn't even seem to notice me."
Then Dr. Dobson asked the young ladies in the group....Was this something that others of you have also experienced?
Girl #1 What you just said, Dr. Dobson, describes exactly what I feel. And I've heard it from so many of my friends. In fact, our greatest uneasiness about getting married is the fear that our future husbands will not be affirming and caring.
Girl #2 It is essential that girls get affirmation from their dads. I didn't receive that and it is the foundation of all my insecurities.
Girl #3 My dad was a good father but he compared me to girls in the media and complained that I didn't look like them. He told me that I didn't work out enough, he would also call attention to what I would eat. So I was not a full-fledged anorexic, I guess, but I worked out all the time, and sometime wouldn't eat anything.
Then other girls told of struggles they have because of their relationships with their fathers.
Girl #6 My father was not like that. He told my sister and me that it was inner beauty that mattered. He would also tell us how beautiful we were on the outside. That's what got me through junior high and high school.
Girl #7 I've had such a different experience, and I realize that much of who I am is because of the affirmation I received growing up. One of the things that I love to hear is when my family says, "Oh you look cute." My dad told me that all the time, and it has just meant so much coming from my own father.
Girl #10 Just recently I received a valentine's e-mail from my father. It was the first card or e-mail he has sent me since I was 7 years old, and it meant the world to me.
It goes on for a few more pages with young ladies sharing the good and not so good relationships that they had with their fathers.
So I guess it makes you think to what kind of relationship did your dad have with you and what kind of relationship does your husband have with your daughter.
I told Darryl that I wanted him to read this chapter and the next one which is Why Daddies Matter. Because I was a daughter and I am a women I can help him out in anything I see with ways he is building his relationship with our daughter. Just as he can feel free to make suggestions to me as a mother to our son and what he may need from me if I'm missing giving him something. Think and pray about it and act on what God is showing you to do to make you and your husband have a wonderful relationship with your daughter.

Bringing Up Girls Chapters 5 & 6

2010-05-14T10:50:00.005-04:00

As I sit here at the computer with my Chai Latte in my CBC mug I will try to go over Chapters 5 & 6 of Dr. Dobson's book. It hits home to me and thing I've compromised just because I'm a women and can do it myself. But you do miss out on the little things so here goes......

Chapter 5: Teaching Girls to be Ladies
Dr. Dobson starts out by getting into our 2nd President of the US John Adams and puts in a quote on manners from an autobiography. The language is different from ours today but it was still good. It is too long for me to re-type but I will quote the last paragraph. "The foundations of national Morality must be laid in private Families. In vain are Schools, Academics and universities instituted if loose Principles and licentious habits are impressed upon Children in their earliest years. The Mothers are the earliest and most important Instructors of youth.
I find this quote to be so good and insightful for way back when. I can't imagine what President Adams would think of our school systems today and what is taught and how low morals have gotten. You have to be pretty involved and on the stricter side as a mom to lay down the Moral foundation that President Adams is talking of.
Dr. Dobson says if we choose evil, there will be no stopping us. In short, our national sovereignty depends on the transmission of the nation's morals and manners to children, and that task should begin in the nursery.
In today's culture young girls are often allowed, and even encouraged, to be brash, rude, crude, profane, immodest, immoral, loud and aggressive. He feels this is because way too many parents have become far too distracted, overworked and stressed out to care to much about teaching morals and manners to children. A quote from Fred Astaire " The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any."
So once again to moms out there it is your job to acculturate your daughters and help them become ladies. Our daughters should be taught how to eat, talk, walk, dress, converse on the telephone, and respond to adults with respect and poise. As parents we should demonstrate good posture and table manners for them, such as putting a napkin in the lap, showing them where to place silverware, and not talking with food in their mouths. They should also explain that burping, gobbling food and picking teeth are rude. He also believes that you should require your kids to say please and thank you. We also need to teach techniques of personal grooming, hygiene and nutrition.
Dr. Dobson then talks about some ways to role play on teaching your children communication skills.
He then talks about some different etiquette businesses around (so sad that we send our girls to learn etiquette when it is our job to teach them at home-side note by me) and a book called 365 Manners Kids Should Know by Sheryl Eberly. His wife Shirley would have elaborate tea parties with their daughter Danae to help teach good etiquette. Danae loved them and they would invite others from the neighborhood to join them. Another source is the book Everyday Graces: A Child's Book of Good Manners by Karen Santorum. She is a mother of 8 and a homeschool mom whose husband is former Senator Rick Santorum of Penn.
As moms we need to also teach out daughters how to be treated on a date. If a guy wants to date your daughter and he comes to pick her up and honks for her to come out, as a dad go out and tell him to continue on his way. Don't let your daughter be treated in that manner. The date needs to open the door for her, take her somewhere nice to eat, pay for the bill and then take her home and not expect anything in return. We need to not only teach our son's that this is how you treat a lady but need to train our daughters that this is the respect you deserve. Why is this disrespect allowed to go on today in our society because girls tolerate it.
Side note from me I was taught on how I should be treated on a date and didn't pay for it and the guy did have to come up to the house and open my car door etc. I told Darryl last night that we need to be doing that more. Sometimes he does open the door sometimes not. When we go to a fast food restaurant I usually do the ordering and he now needs to. Just little things like that, that the kids see and so we need to set a better example for Trevor on how to treat a lady even after he has been married 17 years and for Alivia on how she should be treated even after being married for 17 years.
It comes down to this: the relationship between a man and women throughout their lives together, if indeed they do marry, will reflect the ground rules set by the women when they are courting. She can change him then, but probably not after.
We also need to teach our girls strong biblical foundation from which morals and virtues can evolve.
Chapter 6 : Embarrassing The Angels
He starts out with talking about a author, lecturer and columnist for the Wall Street Journal Peggy Noonan. She had wrote a piece about on what it means to be a lady that made he stand up and cheer. In that piece so goes on to describe if you are a chosen women at airport security to be checked and that 50 years ago it would have been considered second-degree assault. She tells step by step the awful thing she had to endure.
This chapter is about what Peggy wrote and her experience with airport security. Dobson does end the chapter by saying that parents need to work diligently to teach, shape, and form the character of their daughters. And that if MTV, Hollywood and pop music industry, and peers have their way with your girls, they are likely to curse, dress provocatively, behave like uncultured and uncouth waifs and have no sense of personal dignity. Remember mom you are the keeper of the keys at home. Teach your girls to be ladies.

NYC Girl with Kids: Bringing Up Girls

2010-05-05T23:29:00.000-04:00

NYC Girl with Kids: Bringing Up Girls

Bringing up Girls Chapters 3 & 4

2010-05-05T17:33:00.004-04:00

Chapter 3: The Fair Sex

Dr. Dobson talks about a long car trip they took as a family. One of the times they were re-fueling a stray dog came wondering over. Danae gave it much attention and begged to be able to keep the dog that had no home. Even as the dog was chasing their car as they drove off she had many many tears and pleaded with me to go back and get the dog. But we could not take the dog.
Girls are compassionate and have gentle temperaments yet can also be catty, rebellious and downright brutal to peers.
He talks about a study he did for another book of his called "What wives wish their husbands knew about women". Side note maybe we should try to get our husband involved in a study on this book :) Anyway he did a survey about depression. He found that the most common source of depression among these women was low self-esteem. More then 50% listed it as the number 1 source, and 80% put it in there top 5.
He talks about Chris Evert-tennis star, Madonna-singer, Oprah Winfrey, and Melissa Gilbert all very successful women and there struggle with low self-esteem and feeling of importance outside of their jobs.
He believes there are ways to instill a strong self-esteem in our daughters. It begins within the security of a loving family. Specifically it depends on a caring and affirming father. He lets us know about a book "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" and quotes some info from that book. I think I will find this for Darryl to read along with this chapter about a dad's role.
Dad's can do this by telling their daughters that they are pretty, hugging her, and compliment her. Build her confidence by giving her your time and attention. Defend her when she is struggling. And let her know she has a place in your heart that is reserved only for her.
He then talks about leaving a job he had in order to be at home more to be able and spend time with his family and how God has blessed him in making that decision.

Chapter 4: Why She Is Who She Is
Here he gets into the development in the womb and how from common test today like MRI, CAT and PET there is a definite difference between the sexes and this whole unisex movement was so wrong. He quotes information from two books The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine and The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian.
Both brains of the female and male appear to be the same until the eighth week of pregnancy when the male brain is washed by a huge surge of testosterone. This male sex hormone kills some of the communication cells. And in girls between 3-6 months of age experience "juvenile puberty". Their tiny ovaries start producing adult doses of estrogen. This estrogenic bath will continue until girls are about 3 years old.
So in all females are finely tuned machines that operate according to fixed timetables.
Dr. Dobson goes on and talks more about the brain functions of boys and girls and how different they are which is why we are so different. Females because of this difference need to talk. Especially about what they are feeling. So busy moms and dads who are too exhausted at the end of your day to talk with your daughters no matter what the age need to make time at the dinner table or before they go to bed. it is imperative that you tune in to your kids - especially your girls.

Bringing Up Girls

2010-05-05T11:42:00.009-04:00

This is a new book out by Dr. James Dobson. Many have read Bringing Up Boys by him and if you have not and you have boys I would highly recommend. It is a great book for couples but will be very helpful if you are a single parent. I may re-read it and do a commentary on it.

Chapter 1: The Wonderful World of Girls
Dr. Dobson shares some letters he received from girls about writing a Bringing up Girls book and other stuff he had written that girls were not happy about. So there are some funny letters. He also quotes King Solomon in Proverbs 22:6 and Paul in Ephesians 6:4. Which are to Train up a child...and Fathers don't exasperate...
We need to be teaching our girls to be modest, have morals and have manners. He talks about his love for his little girl Danae now all grown up.

Chapter 2 : Girls in Peril
This chapter starts out by telling us info. from his Bringing Up Boys book which states that boys are more likely to have learning disabilities, to be drug addicts, and to be emotionally disturbed.
They are at greater risk for schizophrenia, autism, sexual addiction, alcoholism, to commit murder, to die in a car accident, etc.
Girls on the other hand do much better in education and in graduating from high school and college. Where they do have problems is emotionally and physically. Girls today are under much more pressure then we were as kids/teens/adults. Eating disorders are starting earlier and are at an all time high. Now a days it starts at ages 5 and 6 with body image issues. 40% of 9 and 10 year old have attempted to lose weight. And by the time they are 15 more then 60% of girls will have used harmful substances and other methods to lose weight.
The next problem we are seeing in middle and high school girls is cutting, self mutilating, and piercing many parts of their bodies.
They are looking at "bad girls" such as Brittney Spears, Angelina Jolie, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan etc. as role models.
A growing number of girls more then boys are binge drinking and when you drink that much you do things that normally you would not do. There is also a higher number of younger girls that are involved in sex for hire and they tend to be girls from a middle class family.
Dobson also includes some articles that others have wrote related to raising girls today.
Some of the bad influences on our girls is MTV, the Internet, hip-hop, some public schools, liberal Universities, and other institutions that are warping our young women.
There is also the problem of children who are lonely. Their parents are gone much of the time leaving them to fend for themselves. Or their parents are overworked, distracted, exhausted and uninvolved. Human beings desperately need each other. Lonely children will get into trouble.
Now this next bit of info. shocked me and my mouth is still on the ground as I can hardly believe it. It is shown that a few years back $1.6 million dollars was spent on thong underwear for 7-12 year old girls. What is wrong with these parents and/or mothers. I still am in shock as I write this that a mom would buy her 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 or 12 year old thong underwear!!! If at this age your daughter needs or wants a thong to feel pretty or sexy then you have a MAJOR problem on your hands and need to seek help ASAP!!!
Dr. Dobson ends this chapter with you the parents can provide the care and guidance that is needed in raising girls in today's world.

Crazy 93 yr. old lady

2010-04-30T17:52:00.003-04:00

Maybe I have talked about her before maybe not but today I will.
Labreta...she is a crazy old lady who is VERY anal!!!! I mean anal beyond anal!!! I have told Darryl and the kids if I get to be like her give me medication so when I'm sleeping my heart will stop and I will go to meet my Creator 'cause no one should be that anal.
Ok that said, she hired a lady to come help her clean. So I go over the other day to take her, her mail and newspaper as I do everyday. So she tells me that when they were getting some old cloths for cleaning that she found a baby pillow in the cupboard that has the cleaning cloths. I asked her if it was maybe left by a lady Judy who use to live with her before she died and she said no. She truly does believe that someone broke into her house and put the pillow in the cupboard in the laundry room. I try to explain to her that if someone is going to break in they are not going to drop off a embroidered baby pillow and hide it in her cupboard. If they broke in the would take stuff out ( like money since she leaves it out on the couch or in a bedroom) of they would take other things but criminals don't bring things INTO the house. Well I was not successful at logic.
We went down to the laundry room and she showed me the cupboard in which the baby pillow was in. I want to see it so I touch the cupboard to open it. She says strongly, don't touch the door and open it. I ask why. She replies fingerprints. Plus she thinks that there might be a dead baby in the cupboard.
OH MY GOSH!!!! I said Labreta if there is a dead baby in there it would be rotting and you would smell the body. Plus I'm thinking in my head don't you want to call the police if there would be a dead baby in your house...duh!!! But no, I left and thought, I know Mt.Vernon police already have to have her name on file as being crazy and I can only imagine if she did call them about the baby pillow that came from no where and also about the dead baby.
She is whacked out of her mind but thinks that she is sane. So all Darryl and I can do is listen, tell her truth which she never listens too and shake our heads and go home. There is no use arguing with her we have learned that over the years. By golly she is right and she is ALWAYS right!!
Am glad that she never reproduce, I'm sure her children would be alcoholics or drug addicts just by having to deal with her. Either that or they would lock her away which is what I'm thinking she needs.
So before you go to help the elderly prepare yourself to deal with irrational, crazy people who do need help, but don't get sucked in to their anal world.
She has lived a long time and has a lot of stories she can share about the Depression era, wars, and other things. Darryl and I don't mind helping her because she needs it but she is able to frustrate both of us. So here is one frustration I had with her and now I have it off my chest and can move on and go make supper :)

School Days...aahhh to remember when...

2010-04-26T16:14:00.003-04:00

I went to my parents house yesterday for a birthday celebration and in the process moved some things to help my mom try to find her resume in the basement. Although we didn't find that I did find a box of school stuff from my younger years and pictures. Today I was able to go through and read some of the things.
Now growing up in CR, Coolidge school was right across the street from us. So I went there for 2nd and 3rd grade. Then CR school district started a thing called Family school. It's a cross between homeschooling and public school. Beings that I was in class with my siblings as were the other students and we all had the same teacher. We worked at our different levels at our own pace yet we went to Johnson elementary and Taylor where they had the Family school program set up. It really was unique and was a good program. We had beanbags which we could sit on and read or do our other work with out having to sit at a desk. There were desk there in case we wanted to sit there. There were different areas in the room so you could do your school work where you felt the most comfortable working. In that regards it is like homeschooling besides going to an actual public school building and doing public school things such as lunch, art, gym etc.
So looking at some of my reports it was interesting to me. In January 1982 ( I was 10 yrs. old) my teacher Paul Otteson gave my parents a semester evaluation....his big problem was that he says that she is too quiet, and underlined too. He said he felt guilty because he has not noticed the work I'm doing. Also that I needed to work on expanding the complexity of my writing and choosing more difficult words. Then at the end of the year he has to say in his final report that I am a good listener and a patient worker.
It was fun looking and reading some of the reports I did at age 10 and I'm guessing 4th grade.

I also wrote some poems and here are a few:
Roses are red and violets are blue, you are sweet and he is to.
When it comes to happiness you are always up there.

I also wrote a report in 1981 about my family here goes:
My mom is nice. She is the nicest mom could ever have. My dad is tall. Sometimes he is nice and sometimes he is mean. Sean he's the same as my dad. My sister she is nice to me in school sometimes. The end

Then I wrote a story about my life:
I was born in Ohio. Out of Kathy and Sean I was born 2 and 2 the best( I think I was suppose to say 2nd and that 2nd was the best). When I was 1 I was a cutie. When I was 2 (I can't read what I was saying). When I was 3 I don't know what I did. When I was 4 I don't know what I did. When I was 5 I was learning how to skate. When I was 6 I blew out all my candles on my birthday cake. I went back to Ohio when I was 6. When I was 7 I went to Adventureland. When I was 8 I went to Adventureland. Now I'am 9 and I'am going to a new school named Tyler! and I like it.

I have one more story to share, I wrote this on Nov. 17th 1981 titled School:
I'am good in math. I'am almost done with the book. I have 4 more units to go. I'am in unit 9 on page 195-196. Last year I didn't like math. But this year I enjoy it. I have passed every level in spelling so far. I'am in level 4 in spelling. At Coolidge I was in level 5 and then level 6 the kids where surprised when I told them. I have to more pages of research to do. I have done a research on dinosaurs and dogs and now I'am doing research on cats. Then a rose flower. I'am doing good in writing. My mom said I was doing good in every thing. I like Family school it's the best school I have ever went to. I have onley got one strike (this is my favorite part and so true!!!) that was when Kathy (my sister) was hiting me with the eraser. The End!

I will try to take pictures of my school pics. I wish I had a scanner for things like this but I will try and post later. It was fun looking down memory lane a bit.

School....give me a break

2010-01-22T16:05:00.004-05:00

As I spend time preparing my taxes for this year, I come to state information. Since we use Turbo Tax I'm able to play around and see if I lived somewhere else in Iowa how much more or less would I get back. Also if I lived in a different school district how much more or less would I get back.

I think most of us in Linn County know that we have incredible high taxes and it is true Linn County is up there in the top 10 of highest property taxes in the state. And unfortunately for those of you who live in Linn County and in the Lisbon School District you get double whammed. Lisbon School District taxes each house that lives in the school district as much as they can. It is even higher then those who live in the Mount Vernon School District. On our taxes I would receive back $42 more dollars from the state if I lived in the Mount Vernon School District and since my children are in the Marion School District I wanted to see what the difference would be if we lived in there school district. I would get back $56 more dollars from state if I lived in the Marion School District.
I wish the law was set up so that where you send you kids is the district that would get your tax dollars and for those who don't have kids in school why should they have to pay anything to a school that they don't even use! But government is greedy and it looks like Lisbon School District is greedy as well.
There is nothing I can do to change it and I hate giving money to a system I don't use but I bet a lot of people feel that way. And not just about schools but other government run agencies that our tax dollars go to but we never use.
But the one thing I can do is vent it out and that's what I just did!!!

Money/Stewardship

2010-01-17T17:27:00.003-05:00

Today was an interesting sermon at church......money. We are now having a financial class for adult Sunday school which Darryl and I took last year sometime also at church. It was through Crown Financial and it is very good weather you are a Christian or not if you want honest advise about money.

So Pastor Andy talked a little bit about it today for his sermon. Money is talked about a lot in the bible. One of the things he breezed on that I have been thinking about is being a good steward of what you have.........what does that mean?

I have watched 18 kids and counting and wanted to see what was up with this family. They are Christians and like to mass produce :). So I wondered if the tax payers of Arkansas were paying for all these kids or if they were truly evaluating and being good stewards of what God had given them.

To me being a good steward is not just of your house, clothes, possessions, vehicles, it also includes your children which are gifts from God. With each child comes big responsibilities. And from watching the show I see that Jim Bob is involved in the real estate game and is able to support each child on his income. And being on tv is another way that they are able to afford the necessities that comes with each new child. As Christians we are to rely on God for the basic needs of our family and not the government. Although it is nice to have food stamps, WIC and others government help it was set up for a temporary help not a life long plan. It drives me insane beings we are tax payers when people use it as a long term way to make ends meet. If the only way we can afford another child is by being on these government programs then we need to reevaluate our hearts. OK side trail there about the abuse of the system......

Watching the Duggards they do show that they are good steward of their possessions material wise and of their gift of kids. Although I don't agree with all they do...they are way to conservative for me, they are a great example of a big family living for God and God has entrusted them with much because of their obvious faithfulness in the little.

So now I have to ask am I a good steward of what God has entrusted me with. I try to be but I mess up and so I guess I have to say sometimes Yes and sometimes No. Pastor Andy said take out your mortgage and see what other consumer debt you have. Meaning credit card bills, vehicle payments and such. Analyze and see if those are things you needed at that price or could you have done without or paid cash for it if you would have gone cheaper. Those are great questions to ask. I'm guilty of not spending His money wisely and buying things that I didn't NEED but wanted.
With tax season upon us we are lucky to be getting money back which will pay off our consumer debt. A goal of mine if to continue to not have consumer debt unless an unforeseen situation occurs and there is no other way.

I encourage you as Pastor Andy encouraged me, to think about it and see if you are being a good steward of His money, His material goods and His children.

Child taken because he is 555lbs.

2009-12-29T16:55:00.006-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I sat down and was flipping through the channels and stopped on The Drs.
They were telling about young 14 year old boy who weighs 555lbs. whose mother is a single parent and he was taken away by Child Protective Services because of his weight. It was interesting to hear them debate this matter and what is right for this child.

Was this mother killing her son with food? Yes. She could at any point find her son dead because of the effects on his body from severe obesity. Would we be out outraged if this mother was giving her son alcohol, so much that he passed out drunk every night. Or if she at age 14 supplied her son with drugs and helped him load the needle to shoot up. Yes! And although food is not an illegal thing to take at age 14 as in everything we need to have self-control and moderation.

Now could this mom be working 10-12 hrs a day and not have a whole lot of control over her son buying junk from the vending machines or stopping by the grocery store after school and eating a bag of chips before she got home. Yes. But somewhere in her head when she saw him at 200lbs. or so an alarm should have gone off "Huston we have a problem".

After listening to this discussion I started thinking of this last season on the Biggest Loser. There was a contestant Sean who was a church youth pastor and obese. I thought we all sin and have problems but being overweight to that degree is an obvious sin. Would I allow my child to be under the guidance of a youth pastor who is battling an addiction....probably no. Unfortunately, it is a sin that everyone can see. It is also a sin that is not talked about in the church. Would I be under the leadership of a Pastor who was an alcoholic, drug addict, pornography addict, adulterous, smoker, etc. My answer is no. Why, because those are sins that people let control them. Food can be the same thing. It can control you, instead of you controlling it.

The Bible talks about our bodies being Holy Temples of God. We are to treat them like that by not putting in them things that can harm you. The Bible does talk about gluttony although these are verses we don't "talk" about much in the church. In Proverbs 23: 20-21 it warns us not to join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags. Proverbs 28:7 declares, “He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father.” Proverbs 23:2 proclaims, “Put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.”

Physical appetites are an analogy of our ability to control ourselves. If we are unable to control our eating habits, we are probably also unable to control other habits, such as those of the mind (lust, covetousness, anger) and unable to keep our mouths from gossip or strife. We are not to let our appetites control us, but we are to have control over our appetites. (See Deuteronomy 21:20, Proverbs 23:2, 2 Peter 1:5-7, 2 Timothy 3:1-9, and 2 Corinthians 10:5.) The ability to say “no” to anything in excess—self-control—is one of the fruits of the Spirit common to all believers (Galatians 5:22).

God also commands us to be good stewards of ALL he has given us. Everyday He gives me life and a body to be on earth with and I am command to take care of that body that He has given me. Just as I am commanded to take care of my husband, children, house and everything in it, cars, animals, all our possessions that He has allowed me to have. I am told to be a good steward of all these things.

So with that in mind thinking of the young man who was taken away from his mother, without all the info. I initially support that decision that the authorities made. I hope he is not put in foster care but taken to a weight loss in-treatment center where he can be observed by doctors and can start on a path to learning how to eat better and deal with whatever problems brought him too this severe point of being close to death. And that he can if he doesn't know, come into a relationship with God, and know that God loves him.

And I hope for Sean the youth pastor that he does step down and can too get some help on learning how to deal with problems better then over eating to fill whatever void he is filling and then he can come back a be a huge testimony to youth and adults in that church a like and God's power, grace, and forgiveness will shine through him.

Interesting Information about Christmas

2009-12-19T13:39:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I needed to take the older lady I help to the bank. Now I could tell you a story about that but I will stick to the point of this blog. While waiting for her to cash checks, I was looking at a free magazine called City Revealed. Flipping through I came to as section by Carol L. Ballard about Christmas and why we use red and green colors and what the meaning behind "The Twelve Days of Christmas" song. I found it interesting and so I thought I would share it with you.

Why the colors red and green? Green stands for eternal life. Red represents the blood Jesus would shed for us on the cross. This was also the first color chosen for Santa's costume when Coca Cola used it for advertising on their pop bottles during the last part of the century. Red and green are also one of the reasons for using holly to represent life and blood.

The Twelve Days of Christmas song: when Oliver Cromwell came to power in England Catholics were not allowed to practice their faith openly. So in order to teach their children to understand their Christian beliefs, The Twelve Days of Christmas was created. Here is what they symbolize:

Partridge in a pear tree: Jesus. A partridge will sacrifice its life to save its young, and Christ sacrificed His life for mankind.

Two Turtle Doves: the Old and New testaments of the Bible as well as Mary and Joseph at the birth of Jesus.

Three French Hens: faith, hope and charity. Or three gifts the wise men brought to the new King.

Four Calling Birds: the 4 evangelist Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Five Golden Rings: the first 5 books of the Old Testament.

Six Geese a-laying: the six days of creation, or six days of human labor.

Seven Swans a- swimming: the seven gifts or sacraments of the Holy Spirit. Wisdom, understanding, counsel, strength, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord.

Eight Maids a- milking: the eight Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount.

Nine Ladies Dancing: nine choirs of angels, Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and regular angels. Or the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit, love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, patience, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control.

Ten lords a-leaping: The Ten Commandments.

Eleven Pipers Piping: the eleven faithful Apostles.

Twelve Drummers Drumming: the twelve articles of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

And there you have some interesting facts about this holiday that we celebrate.

Constructive Criticism

2009-12-13T14:51:00.002-05:00

Before you start to read this let me just say if you like Sarah Palin....don't read it! I'm a Democrat and a Christian and DON'T vote on 1 issue(abortion) in any election. I found this column in the Sun newspaper written by a guest columnist and really enjoyed it and have the same feelings as the writer. So in order to keep up my blog I decided I would share what he wrote with all who wanted to read it. So as I said if you like Palin stop reading now. If you don't care for her then continue on.......

In an interview with a Christian Broadcasting Network, during the publicity blitz for her new book, "Going Rouge", former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin called her critics "lonely", "shallow" and in need of prayer.
Gee, Thanks, Mrs.Palin. It humbles me that you would single out someone like me-who, while far from being your biggest fan wouldn't exactly call myself your most bitter detractor-while speaking to the friendly folks over at the CBN.
You're right; clearly I'm so vain that I think you're talking about me, so I could certainly use your prayers to get over those character flaws. But even after the loneliness is gone and I wake up to find my vanity cured, I still won't find you presidential material. Sorry.
I mean no offense. You wear that folksy northern charm like a Snuggie everywhere you go, be it in front of the cheering throngs, talking to Katie Couric or chatting it up with Oprah. You carry a grudge as well as the best of us, as evidenced by the ongoing feud between you and your grandson's father, Levi Johnston.
You're human; I respect that. But just as I would never think I should be president, I don't think you should, either. As Vonnegut would say, so it goes.
Sarah, (You don't mind if I call you Sarah, do you? We're just ordinary Joe Sixpacks, after all.), you'll have to forgive me, but I won't be picking up your book. Not because I'm not interested in hearing your side and being better informed, but simply because I fear the book is your way of forming an exploratory committee, that the sales will be parsed to gauge your national popularity. And I can't bring myself to give you the false sense that I want you to be our commander-in-chief.
As you can see, Sarah, I am being critical (still). And while it may make me lonely and shallow, I would be remiss in my responsibilities as an American citizen if I didn't critique those I encounter on the ballot at the polls. Because if we all cast our votes for those we'd like to have a beer with, or who we think we'd have the most fun hunting wolves with in our private helicopters, then who knows who'd be leading our country?
That's not to say I wouldn't accept an invite to grill moose burgers with your family while drinking cold American beer (not Budweiser, though, they're Belgian now) and playing Scrabble. It's only that it all wouldn't be quite the same if the cookout were at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

-Brandon Wellman The Sun newspaper Dec. 10, 2009

Thank you Brandon although I would have thrown in a little more sarcasm and hits on her you did a great job and I agree with you which is why I posted it on my blog.

Christmas Tree hunting 2009

2009-11-30T14:06:00.003-05:00

Our family tradition is every year sometime after Thanksgiving either Friday or Saturday to go to a tree farm and get our Christmas tree. We like to wonder around and pick out the perfect family tree. Last year at the tree farm we have been going to their were none that were perfect enough to cut down ourselves so we had to buy one out of the barn. This year we went again on Saturday which was 50+ degrees and beautiful out. Because of all the rain on Tuesday and Wed. they had standing water around the white pine trees which is what we buy. We looked and looked and found two OK ones and found another that everyone liked but Alivia. So we went back to the the other two and Darryl and I vetoed them in comparison to the third tree that all liked but Alivia. So we walked back to it. It was not the "perfect" tree but it was fat, tall and white pine. So Alivia gave in and we cut it down.

Now the reason we raised our ceilings back up from 8ft. to the original 1900 height of 10 foot is so that Darryl could have a taller tree. This one is taller then the one last year and almost touches the ceiling. We carried it slowly to pay for it and they let us know that they can not put it in the shaker because it is so big it might break it....darn! But the needles are soft so fine. We pay for it load it up and head home.

Saturday was a busy day and I was not in the Christmas Tree decorating mood so I waited until last night to do it. The kids helped me and here is our Christmas tree for 2009.

Laundry is a Major Pain

2009-09-25T14:23:00.003-04:00

I don't think that I have had pain like this since I first hurt my back 13 1/2 years ago. I was 8 months pregnant with Trevor and working at a Veterinary clinic and I was by myself. I took a black lab out to go potty before I went home and it didn't want to go back into the cage. So I bent down and lifted it in and have had back problems ever since. Luckily Dr. Nolz was new in town and Darryl and I were friends with him and his wife and he was able to see me.

I have problems off and on with my back if I'm moving heavy things around or lifting incorrectly but it is a pain that will go away in a few days with over the counter meds and an ice pack.

On Thursday I was doing laundry leaned over with NOTHING in my hands and felt a sharp pain in my lower back that almost took me to my knees. Wow....I really did it this time I thought. So I went right away and took some ibuprofen and continued on in a more careful way. By dinner time I was just about done for. At that point you could have offered me any drug to take away the pain.
Why did I not go to the doctor some may ask......answer no health insurance. So no matter how you feel about health care reform, I want an affordable public option. But that is another subject.

So Darryl helps me cook supper as I can not bend over to get anything and I lay on ice and continue to take ibuprofen. Thursday was my day off from running anyway so to keep the muscle loose I told Darryl that Alivia and I were going on a walk.

We started out and as we get closer to the park I here cheering and such, so I say to Alivia let's go see if Dr. Nolz is over there. Thursday the clinic is closed or else I would have seen him, but I thought I would ask him some things to help make me comfortable until I could see him tomorrow.

There are good and bad things about living in such a small town...bad: people are nosy and want to know your business...good: you can chat with your chiro at his kids soccer game.

So yeah, we find him. He asked how I was and told him I was in severe pain and what I did to get in this pain and he said Logan's game is almost over come to the office and I will take a look at you. I told him that was not why I came over and it was his day off and he needs to ask Shelly so she is not mad that he is doing this etc.

Beings we are friends with him and he is so nice....Alivia and I walked over to the clinic and he gave me an adjustment. I went again today and he gave me another adjustment. Although he did laugh at me and the way I was standing and walking and told me I look like an old lady....but at this point he can laugh at me all he wants. I will be seeing him again tomorrow morning and according to him a lot more this next week.

So please pray for me and my pain. I'm thankful in this case to live in a small town where when you are in desperate need of help, your chiro is there to help you.

Also have learned that laundry can be a major pain.

Update Your Bathroom

2009-09-17T15:49:00.003-04:00

We moved into this house 11 years ago. I was 8 months pregnant with Alivia so lucky me was unable to help a lot with any lifting and moving stuff. But also since I was pregnant I was also unable to paint walls etc. So sometime after Alivia was born and life was back to "normal" I had been watching HGTV and sponge painting was "in" and really big. So I convinced Darryl to let me do the downstairs bathroom since it had wallpaper on it and in general I don't like wallpaper. So he said fine...but I had to do it since he hates painting. So I did it and it turned out great as you can see.

But here lately I've been watching more shows about Flipping Houses and from that they talk about neutral colors for being able to sell the house. We will at some time in probably 3-4 years get the house ready to sell. So when we re-did the living room I picked good neutral colors with one dynamic wall and decided I would do so for the bathroom. I mean there was no way I could sell even if it is not for years, with a sponge painted bathroom.....it's too out dated. So I picked colors in the same family as the living room and made one dynamic wall and the rest lighter...it's actually the same color as the square ceiling part in the living room and here you have an updated bathroom that has a lot of potential for the new buyers in 3-4 years.
But most of all it's neutral and I like it!

A day in with......the old lady

2009-09-02T14:31:00.004-04:00

As many of you read on Facebook I was not really looking forward to my trip in to Cedar Rapids with the 93 year old lady Labreta that I help. Let me explain how it all started.......

Darryl's dad had originally done work for her and that is how Darryl came to do work for her after he took over Studt and Son Repair. Now it hasn't been until the last 3 years that she had Darryl over to her home doing lots of different stuff and about every Friday he goes over. I come into the picture because in the winter of 2007 she needed someone to get her mail for her about every other day and hang it on a hook outside where she could get it. I said fine on days I go by her house I can do that. Then last year started getting mail all year round plus taking her to Dollar General, Gary's, the bank etc. She now expects her mail everyday, and that I am on call when ever she needs me. I don't do people telling me what to do very well and pushing me around and that is what she seems to like to do. Because she is paying me she thinks she can boss me around and I don't work like that. She never use to be this bad but as the years go on she gets worse. Her and Darryl have had there go rounds as well, but he is more frank and rude to her then I am. OK I told a little to much in the story about our relationship with her....but I do help her out.

So yesterday we went into CR and I will try to make this as short as possible. In general when she finds a person to do something for her she doesn't like to use anyone else. So one time she went into Walmart on the Westdale side of CR and the Korean lady gave her a pedicure. Ever since that one time she thinks NO ONE else on earth knows how to give a pedicure. So we start out to go to Walmart and I ask her where all she needs to go. I have to ask because she will say Sharon (that's me, sometimes it is Shannon lots of the time Sharon) can you take me to the bank. I go over pick her up and take her to the bank. But then she adds on Gary's and maybe something else. So I asked her where all do you need to go...she said to get toes done, Lowes, Walmart and Aldis. I explain that Lowes is way over on the other side of town and it would be better to go to that side since they have a Walmart, Aldi's and I'm sure a pedicure place. Finally after wanting to pull my hair out I some how convinced her.....Praise the Lord it is a Miracle that just happened. I'm still in awe of it!!!

Since we were now going to the NE side of town she wants to stop at Bed, Bath and Beyond to look for a toilet seat. They didn't have a cream colored soft one so we left. I'm waiting at the stop light with the mall right in front of us and she asked how far is the mall from here. I said it's right there across the street. She tells me that's not the mall. I say yes that is Lindale Mall across the street you see where it says Sears. Well that's not the mall where's Younkers. I say way on the other side. I stop arguing with her because I'm not a retard that she thinks I am, I know where the stupid mall is.

Next, I take her to Lowes and all of that goes well besides she buys a cream soft toilet seat, and a white one with some flowers on it which I reminded her the whole reasons we "had" to come to Lowes is because she "had" to have a cream toilet seat. But whatever she wants. It just means I'm going to have to return one of them and I'm never around Lowes.

We went to Aldi's and that went fine and then onto Walmart. There she couldn't find the perfect wastebasket for in her dining room to throw papers away. Right now she just uses a plastic Walmart bag and I show her wastebaskets in about 10 different colors but she decides she will go to Walmart in Anamosa and they will have the perfect wastebasket :)

So all in all it was OK. It was a 4 hour trip with her and I was defiantly tired by the time I got home. The best part of the trip was of course 30 minutes of feet pleasure...and here is a pic of my purple pedicured feet!

Iowa State Fair 2009

2009-08-22T14:29:00.004-04:00

Us city folks loaded up the van and headed to Des Moines to the State Fair. The time of year when we go to look at all the animals that you country folk raise, and see the sights of things made out of butter, big vegetables, hot tubs, saunas, other stuff people want to sell me that I don't want or need. You also learn things at the fair. I learned that Linn County is the third largest place that sex offenders live behind Polk and Scott Counties. Alivia learned that if you decide to get soaking wet on a low 70 degree day where the sun is going in and out of the clouds that you will be cold. Trevor learned that at the fair you do lots of walking which make you very tired.

We were able to see a lot of things and just happened to be in the exhibit area each time it rained which was great. I was sad that people voted NO on a butter statue of M.J. so instead they did an astronaut.

The fair is filled with lots of things to do and we never do the midway and it we still end up spending the day there. It's always fun to see the biggest pigs, a big elk and the world's smallest cow plus all other kinds of animals. The kids and I had fun and as normal were very tired at the end of the day. We only had a few injuries and those were caused by senior citizens who can't drive there motorized little bikes. One lady ran over Trevor's piggy toe and didn't even apologize and another old lady ran right into the back of me. I can't remember what I said it was towards the end of the day, my throat was sore and my allergies were getting bad, but I'm sure after she saw my face she knew I was ticked off and she did apologize. I think the fair people need to have them take a motorized bike driving test before they are allowed to operate those things. And had I been able to find the lady that ran over Trevor's toe I would have let her have it....in the best Christian way possible :)

Otherwise it was good day and I'm sure we will go again next year.

Adventureland 2009

2009-08-15T14:03:00.003-04:00

Last Monday the kids and I headed over to Adventureland with Sherry, Aubrey and Olivia Sullivan. My kids are not roller coaster kind of kids which is why we don't go to amusement parks but go to waterparks instead. Now the last time we had been to Adventureland was in 2003 and that too was with the Sullivans. But the kids were younger and so did a lot of "kid" type rides.
When I was a kid we went to Adventureland with my sister Donna. I was probably 12 and she had me go with her on the Tornado...I think that was the only roller coaster at Adventureland at that time. Let me say...I'm afraid of heights...anything where I'm free falling. But somehow she talked me into it. So the whole way up the first hill I'm crying. I seriously thought I was going to flip out of the seat and die. Donna was trying to clam me but to no avail. Once we went down the first hill and I screamed all my anxiety out I was able to enjoy the ride, and did it again on that visit. Trevor is also afraid of heights and so I knew no roller coasters for him but thought I might get Alivia. The first high ride we did was the Log ride. Trevor would not go on it but Alivia, Olivia and I did. They take your picture on the big hill going down and after the ride we looked at it and Alivia had a look of terror on her face. So no roller coasters for her or Trevor or mom that day. Trevor loved the Silly Silo and did it 4 times. Alivia and Olivia did the Gallon. The ship that goes back and forth. Trevor did not want to because of how high it goes up but the girls were in. Well for Alivia that was not a good choice. She got sick from it. After that ride we were going to take the sky lift to the other side of the park to do Kokomo Kove but she was worried she might barf on someone below her if she rode on it...so we walked. The poor girl can't do roller coasters, can't do spinning rides, all that was left for her were little people rides which she did and enjoyed.
So I guess we learned that still amusement parks are not a great fit for our family and we will stick with waterparks where everyone loves the rides.
I was just happy our tickets to Adventureland were free and so the day was good and at zero cost....thanks Mark :)
Alivia did buy herself an airbrush tatoo which made her day and all the kids enjoyed the little Sawmill Splash ride. It was a fun, beautiful day spent with wonderful friends and only a few hitches so we called it a success.

Sauerkraut Days 100 year Celebration

2009-08-14T13:59:00.004-04:00

This year was the 100th year of celebrating Sauerkraut Days. The festivities started Tuesday night with a movie in the park. Wednesday night a play which told of how Lisbon came to be. In the play was Darryl, Trevor, Alivia and myself. We played a number of different people depending on the era we were talking about. Thursday night we invited some care group friends over for fireworks, Friday at 4pm is when rides and festivities started, Saturday morning Darryl and I ran in the 5K. His time was 24:38 and mine was 31:52. My goal was to beat my time of last year which was 36 something...I guess I did that. I was really just hoping to be around 34 minutes. I pushed myself a little too hard and felt it later on :( But I was very happy with my time and Darryl was with his. There is a pic of all the candy Trevor got from the parade. A favorite is the bathtub races. Adults and kids alike love throwing waterballons at each other and those competing. As you can see Trevor loved breaking one over Alivia's head. We had a fun week and I was exhausted after all the activities we did. Here are some pics to show of our time at Sauerkraut Days.

Camping and Winning

2009-07-27T11:22:00.005-04:00

We went this weekend camping, since the summer is winding down and we need to go more then twice this year. The weather was great, except for the storm on Friday night. Here were some of the clouds that blew in. They look like big marshmallows and made me hungry for smores.

So since it was raining on Friday night my mom, Darryl and brother-in-law Brian decided to play Euchre. I had been a long time since I had played so I was a little rusty. We played 4 games with the boys winning 2 games and the girls winning 2 games. It was getting later so we stopped.
The next morning after breakfast Trevor and I decided to play Battleship, I ended up winning so he decided to play Darryl....and Trevor won which was just the begging of Darryl's losing streak.
We then decided to play Sequence and Trevor won a game and I won a game and Darryl won 0 games.
After supper my sister got out a new game she bought which is like redneck golf except the thing you throw your balls on to spins. You can kind of see it in the picture. So Trevor and I played against Darryl and Brian and guess who won twice.....That's right Trevor and I.

So after another defeat we decided to finish our Euchre game since it ended at a tie. Darryl and Brian wanted to do the best out of 7 instead of best out of 5 so my mom and I agreed. And low and behold who won the next 2 games.....you guessed it baby my mom and I. Darryl took it in stride but he did have a losing weekend. Getting beat by his wife and son at all the games we played.

It was a fun weekend.

NYC Funny stories and things seen

2009-05-29T17:01:00.003-04:00

Since I already did a basic NYC vacation blog in this one I'm going to include funny tales.....or at least funny to the four of us that went.
When we set a date to stay in NYC we needed to look for a place to stay. We had always stayed at a hotel that basically had two beds and a bath and no room to move around in for $200 a night. This time we decided to look on craigslist and VRBO web sites to try and find an apartment to stay at where we would have more room and at least a mini fridge to hold some breakfast items. Sherry Sullivan found a place in SoHo so it was south of Times Square. But that was OK because the price was right and we spend most of our time in southern NYC anyway. I think it was about 3 weeks before we had to leave the owner of the apt. e-mailed her to let her know there was a fire in the building and the place we were going to stay in had smoke and water damage and he didn't know if he would have it ready in 3 weeks. So we started looking again. This time it was harder because the cheaper places were gone and we were all on a limited budget. Well I was able to find a place off Times Square and was able to negotiate the owner down to an OK price. We had never met this man, I just knew his name was Eran and his accent sounded like he was from the middle east. So not knowing anything about him and paying all up front via paypal we hoped for the best. We arrive and Eran is there to greet us, and he was a very nice Jewish man around my age (mid 30's). I didn't ask and his ad didn't say what floor the apt. was on. And yes you guessed it it was on top the third floor. But hey it was only 39 steps up each time......and 39 steps down :( He did help carry luggage all the way up and we laughed at the climb we were going to have to make every day. I believe Sherry S. took a picture of it to use as black mail on me since I found the apartment.

So between the 39 steps straight up each way and walking about 10 miles a day in NYC and climbing I don't know how many subway steps up and down......my butt and calves should be made of steel by now as well as all the other girls. I'm in shape running 2-3 miles a day but I have to say next time we go I need to work the muscles you use when climbing steps. There were times I was so tired when we came back that I had to pause during my 39 step climb. One thing about NYC the only obese people I saw were visitors . Otherwise because of all the walking people are in great shape there.

On Sunday we did our department store shopping. We happened to find a Burlington Coat Factory which we didn't know that they had, but I love that store and make Sherry S. take me to it when I visit her in Des Moines, since it's the only one in Iowa. So I found some clothes to try on and go to the dressing room......standing outside the dressing room talking to someone was a French Lady. Now you ask how do you know she was French. One the language she was speaking and secondly she had her arm up and was wearing a shirt that only went to her shoulder. That's right ladies.......full armpit full of black hair. It was the first time I have ever seen that and I hope the last. I think I'm still having nightmares about it strangling me. It was one of the grosses things I've seen in a long time. And I was in NYC where lots of gross stuff happens.

Another day when we were out and about we had the go light to cross and out of the corner of my eye I see a guy in weird clothes on a bike that has a flashing light. It's the middle of the day so there was no real need for a flashing light but considering what he looked like fine and I crossed and ignored him. Sheri Jones and her niece Tara were behind me and said did you see who that was on the bike with the strange outfit. I said no I didn't look because I thought he was just one of the many strange people in NYC. While neither one of them could think of his name but said he had been in some movies and he had almost ran into them on his bike. So after two days they came up with his name Matthew Modine. Sherry S. pulled up his pic on her iPhone and still a no with me. Even if he had almost hit me I wouldn't have known him, since he is a minor celebrity, beings that they didn't know his name.

We always go and see a Broadway show and this time we went to see Mary Poppins. It was very good. I would recommend seeing it in Chicago or if it comes around here. The set of it was as impressive as the performance. I don't know who did it....but bravo....come to my house and do it up. It truly was awesome.

I'm trying to think of any other funny or unique stories but am drawing a blank right now. As of now we are planning a trip back to NYC in October 2010. It's a little earlier then normal, we usually have at least two years in between but with Sheri J. having Mac graduate we need to make it earlier. Eran told us his apartment on the FIRST floor sleeps 8 so if you are interested in seeing NYC with Sherry S., Sheri J. her cousin Tara and myself, start planning and saving. You will need about $500 for air and room (maybe less depending on flight prices) and about $150 - $200 per day to spend depending on if you are looking for clothes for yourself or just shopping for others. We do go down to the wholesale jewelry district. This is where Ann Silva gets most of her jewelry for the Silver Spider at a great price. We also buy designer purses at a discounted rate. Plus sight seeing and a Broadway show at a discounted price of $50 - $70.
NYC is expensive but it is an amazing place that I love to go. So think about it....Oct. 2010!!

Back in the Big Apple

2009-05-26T12:11:00.003-04:00

I got back last night from the Big Apple and had an amazing time. This would be my third year there and every year we see new things. The city is filled with so many historical buldings and museums and there are so many things to do.
This year we saw the broadway musical Mary Poppins and it was great, we went into Central Park and went to Belveder Castle again but also went to this fountain which was further away. We went shopping in SoHo for the first time and found some great shops and saw the Flatiron building. We went to Regis and Kelly on Thursday. While walking actor Matthew Modine almost hit us on his bike :) Went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, went to the top of the Rockefeller Center Building and got some amazing pictures of the whole city. We were able to see the Naked Cowboy, and the Navy ship the Intrepid.
It was a great time with a lot of walking and climbing up and down subway stairs and the 39 stairs it took to get into and out of our apartment we rented. My butt and calves should look great after 5 days of doing this.
So much fun and you are exhusted every night from all the walking....but it is so worth it. As of today we plan on going back September or October 2011.

Interesting vacation......weird events/people

2009-05-05T17:10:00.004-04:00

Since it has been a month since my last post I guess I better get with it and put something up from our vacation. Now I already posted a photo album of different stuff, but I will use this blog to tell some interesting stories.
We went to Sea World twice on Monday and Wed. On Monday when we were leaving to catch our trolley back to the hotel, I see a lot of black smoke. As we get out of the park and closer to our pick up spot there is this city bus with the back on fire!!! The fire dept. was on there way but here is a pic that Darryl took.

So on Wed. we go back to Sea World and I don't have a pic of this, but first let me tell you that there are a lot of people from Europe that go to Orlando for vacations. And let's just say they are a little more daring with their clothes then us here in the USA. So it is getting later in the day and the kids and us are moving on to the next place to see. Darryl and I notice in front of us walking is a man somewhat dressed up and his wife/girlfriend. She too is dressed up in 3 inch heels and I white dress. The only problem is, is that the dress is um, see through. She was wearing a white bra and then your eyes moved down a little more. We could see a white line across the lower part of her back and then just a very small upside down triangle and then it disappeared into her......yes you are right. She was wearing a thong!!! Now, for her this was not a good look, had she been more of the size 0,2,4 or even 6 yes maybe but at a size 12,14 not so much. Luckily the kids didn't notice but it was a funny sight for Darryl and I.

Now let's move onto Disney's island. They had crab races. We were able to be the last team to get signed up and therefore the last crab which was #8 whom Trevor called Snapper. They did 4 heat races and then the top 4 would race again for the final race. Finally in the third heat Snapper won. We moved on to the final race.....this was for everything....a picture and a button :) It started out with #2 crab heading for the finish line and Snapper was still in his shell. But we cheered and told him to get out and off his butt and to get into the race. He listened to us. The #2 crab was far ahead and we had no hope but we just kept cheering and yelling at him to go. He started going faster and faster and catching up to the #2 crab and then he passed #2 on the left and the were so close. Then Snapper got that extra boost of if I finish will you people please leave me alone and let me be a crab and do what crabs do....and he WON!!! So here is our proud pic with Snapper the winner of the crab race on Castaway Cay.

The last Easter egg hunt

2009-04-04T16:59:00.003-04:00

This morning was the Lisbon/Mt. Vernon Optimist Easter Egg Hunt in Lisbon. We have been doing this since Trevor was 3 I believe. Every year you take down to Gwen's 3 eggs with your child's name and grade/age on them. The Optimist Club picks them up in the morning and spends time hiding everyone's eggs plus a Golden Egg.

The goal is to find your 3 eggs first, second or third and tell the club member who is in charge of your age group. But also hidden throught out the park in a much harder spot is the grand prize of a golden egg.

This is Alivia's last year of doing the egg hunt as it only goes up to 4th grade. Although being that she's homeschooled and we so enjoy the egg hunt I thought about saying we held her back a year just so she could do it next year, and they would have to take my word for it since I'm the teacher:)

It was cooler this morning and attendance was on the low side. But they gave out the object of the game and sent the kids on there way. Alivia was busy running around trying to find her eggs and did find the first two pretty fast. She was having a harder time with the last one but in the meantime of looking for her last egg found the Golden Egg.

Now every year it has been that you had to find your three eggs first before you could look for the Golden Egg but this year they didn't say that. So before she picked it up Darryl went and asked the club member and he said, you could find the Golden Egg before you found your own three eggs. So Alivia grabbed it and ran off to tell the club member and give him her name.

So a BIG Congrats to my baby girl on a great job of finding the Golden Egg on her last time of doing the Lisbon Easter Egg Hunt.

April Fool's Day.....Red Hair!!

2009-04-01T19:46:00.002-04:00

As I start this, I first have to say that I am the QUEEN of April Fool's Day jokes in our house.
I get Darryl every year with the kitchen sprayer joke. That is where we use clear tape and tape down the handle of the sprayer so when he turns on the water he get nailed. Now this morning it was all ready to go but he was running late and didn't have cereal so he had no need to turn on the faucet. So this morning we didn't get him but rest assured the day is not over yet :) My other classics are making fake puke and calling him during the day and telling him that Alivia is not feeling well and after he got home and he was in the back room she made puking noises and I yelled oh no Alivia just threw-up as Alivia and I went into the bathroom. Darryl got out all the cleaning supplies and just as he started to clean it up he realized it was fake puke.
Another really good one was after he got "fixed" I called him and told him I had been late and took a pregnancy test and I was pregnant. I think I may have even had one of my pregnant friends pee on a pregnancy test for me so I could show him as proof. On this one he was mad at the thought so I came clean soon after he got home :) But it got him good.

So today I did get him in a different way.....a red hair way with help.

Last week I scheduled a hair appointment for Darryl and it just happened to be today. At the time I set it up I had thought about doing something funny but didn't know what.

So on Monday after working out I stopped into Salon 30 to talk to Michelle about if there was any type of shampoo she could use that would color Darryl's hair. I had did an Internet search and couldn't find anything. Michelle was not there so I asked Laura and she didn't know of anything so I thought oh well we will just do the sprayer joke.
But Laura did give me Michelle's cell number and so I called her and she told me of a product called Fancyfull. It's a shampoo you can use to help keep your hair colored until you can get it colored professionally.

So yesterday I was in town went to Sally's Beauty Supply and found the product. Now most of the colors were that of normal hair color. I told the girl with purple hair who was helping of my plan. The only odd color was a bright orange. So I bought it for $6.00 and was on my way.
After getting back in town, I stopped by Salon 30 gave her the product and we went over the plan. I asked her if she was sure about helping me and although I think she was nervous she said "yes" she would.

That night we happened to get breadsticks from Paul Reever's and who happened to be working but a guy named Mike that works with Darryl. I told him of my plan and that I was going to drop off my camera so someone could get a pic. He said they have a camera there and he would get a pic.

So I go today and workout at 12:00 and he goes across the hwy for his haircut @ 12:15. I'm working out praying it goes well and he doesn't notice until it starts to dry at work. My plan worked.

Darryl gets to work and two guys give him a weird look and say nice hair. He thinks it is just because it was long an hour ago and now it is short. Then someone else says the same thing.
He goes into his office and the guy he works with also gives him a weird look but is on the phone so he can't say anything.

The two original guys come stand at his door and ask why his hair is red. Darryl laughs at them thinking they are trying to get him to look at his hair as an April Fool's joke. He leaves his office and another guy says why is your hair red. He also thinks he is in on the joke about his hair being red. To bring this story to an end he looks in the mirror sees his hair is red and calls Michelle @ Salon 30. She tries to do her best as he is giving her a hard time and tells him it washes out. He goes to where they have a large sink sticks his head under the water and out comes the red.
Now I would love to show you a pic but Mike didn't see Darryl come back to work and was too late in getting down there before Darryl rinsed it out :( But this is another April Fool's Day that will go down in history!!

The kids are already coming up with thoughts for next year. I can't wait...I love this day ;)

Hello Kitty

2009-03-19T10:58:00.002-04:00

Although we live in town, around our area there seems to be a lot of
outdoor cats. Our beautiful calico kitty "Stinky" is strictly an inside cat. So when we do see another cat around the window we grab Stinky and let her see the outside cat so her animal instinct kicks in and she protects her home.
This involves her grunting and hissing and the hair on her back standing up as she lets the other cat know to get away.
It seems mean but we all get a big laugh out of watching her get all
worked up.
Yesterday a cat came and sat at the back door, you can kind of see her on the cement in the pic. I told Trevor grabbed Stinky and she did her thing. For the first time the cat just looked at her and stayed. So there you see Stinky sitting watching her and every now and then hissing but the other cat is sitting there looking at Stinky like yeah so what are you going to do. Your stuck inside with no claws and I will eat you up if you try to fight me. Or it was something like that in their smack talk.
Eventually Stinky got tired of just watching the cat and got down and soon after that the outside cat left. I guess the outside cat held her ground and won the face off of not leaving just because of Stinky.
It was a devastating loss for Stinky Studt and the first one in the 10 years that we have lived here. She is now on a strict training program to get her booty in shape for the next challenge of defending her home.

The new computer

2009-03-18T16:17:00.002-04:00

It here and set up......our new computer.

This past Christmas Darryl got me an iPod nano. I wanted it so I could put tv shows and movies on it knowing I was going to go back to NYC this spring and also I liked the slimmer and lighter weight of the newer iPods. But with our old computer I was unable to download the shows I bought from iTunes on to my iPod. We also were unable to download the latest iTunes 8.0 version.
So besides that there were other things we were unable to do because of the oldness of our computer.
So with tax return money we decided to get a new computer and an electric start snowblower since I wanted to take a sledge hammer to the two in the garage that you have to pull start. But that's a different story. And after much talking with our computer man Bill here we have it.
It's a Compaq, it has Windows Vista (which we are getting use to), 2GB of memory, 250GB of hard drive space, and it came with keyboard, mouse, and a 19" diagonal widescreen LCD flat panel monitor with built in speakers.
I think we are going to have the kids use this keyboard/mouse set and we will take back the cordless set we got from my parents for Christmas that is on "their" computer now.

We are very happy and thankful for this new computer and I'm especially happy that I could download iTunes 8.0 and I now can use my iPod :)

Alivia gets Honorable Mention

2009-03-13T16:14:00.004-04:00

This past Wed. night was the first Awana Derby Car Race. They gave the kids a basic kit and then the kids had to design and paint their car how they liked. Now this is the first year for this at Awana and my first Derby Race as well. They had a couple of work days at the church for kids to come and work on their cars in case the parents didn't have the saws and things required in making a pattern/design for the car. Darryl does although he did take both of the kids' into work and had them cut there. But as part of school the kids and I sanded them until they were nice and smooth and ready to paint.

Trevor had an idea for his he wanted it to be all black and then in red on the top he painted a cross and put #9000 on each side.

Alivia who loves the color pink and soccer asked Miss Keri to help her out by painting a soccer ball and Alivia's jersey no#5 on it. Since Miss Keri is a artist we knew it was going to look great! And as you can see it does! Thanks Keri !!!!

As far as the race goes the kids had fun but neither one's car was the fastest. But as far as the "car show" Alivia did not win but her and a few other kids did get honorable mention for having very cool looking cars.

Way to go Alivia for the idea and Miss Keri for the painting !!!

Psyco lady and 8 more kids

2009-03-08T14:46:00.002-04:00

There are different things I could have blogged about but since this is such a concern let's vent out about it.
First I don't think this women should have had more children. My guess is she isn't a Christian because we are told that we need to care for the children we are given as a blessing.

Now growing up the hardest time in my families life was when Reagan was the Pres. also at that time we had a Republican for a Gov. in Iowa remember Terry Brandsted(boo, boo boo). My dad was a union ironworker and worked his butt off everyday. During the reign of Republicans there was no work for ironworkers and it didn't help the Republicans are not a friend to union laborers. Anyway I do remember my dad being out of work and he didn't want to take any government assistants. Many nights we ate bread torn up and put in a glass and added milk and little sugar to it for supper. I remember eating that a lot. Finally after weeks of no work my dad hated it but we did get on food stamps, plus people (friends) in the church helped us out by bringing meals and food. Us kids were also able to have free lunch at school.

This is what the system was originally set up for. To help those in need on a temporary basis. As soon as my dad found work in Illinois and sometime he went to Minnesota we were off Government assistance. Just like we should be.

So here is a lady who cannot care by herself for the six kids she has without the help of the government and tax payers money. So knowing that she should have been done and been trying to find anyway possible to get off assistance.
The Doctor who put the fertilized eggs in her should never be able to practice medicine again because he is a total idiot and has no common sense. I mean even this girls mother told him not to do this and why.
So do the people of her state and county have a right to be outraged. I think yes! They are the ones financially caring for these children. Just like I absolutely hate having to support people in Linn county who may not have that many kids but who are life long recipients of the welfare system.

We are told to take care of the things God gives us. If you can't afford the children you have why do you have more? There is many places you can go to get free birth control and /or condoms. I think it shows poor judgement to continue to have children when you can't afford without government help the ones you have. God didn't say anywhere to rely on a non-Christian governmental programs to meet your needs.
These programs are set up for short term help. Unfortunately it's the children who suffer the pain by a parents bad choices. Just as I feel sorry for all her children. I think the eight should be placed in good foster homes until she can get her crap together. She shouldn't be allowed to have these children in her home and the state should look and see if the children she has in her mom's home now should be allowed to stay.
God gave her a brain and she should have used it. God gave the Doctor a brain and he should have used it as well. Children are a gift from God but there are so many more verses in the Bible that you have to look at and not just keep on reproducing just cause you love babies and they fill a void in your life.
Government assistance programs are a temporary fix not an 18 year give me plan.

Being a good Steward

2009-02-22T15:04:00.002-05:00

Darryl and I are taking a financial class at church during the Sunday School hour. The biggest thing is being a good steward of what God has given you. So in this aspect of finances and possessions all belongs to God. Everything you own is God's and He can take it away at anytime. So we need to look at our possessions and make sure we don't love them more then what we love God. Also the money Darryl makes is God's. He has in trusted Darryl and I to use it for His glory and in a way that is biblical.

After studying being a good steward of finances I thought what else are we suppose to be good stewards of. Here are somethings......our bodies, our children, the animals, the land, and there are more. The one I want to talk about is the first one our bodies.

When God created us He did so in His image. We belong to Christ and He is the one who gives us life and breath everyday. So we need to be good stewards of our bodies. Here in America we are overly blessed with an abundance of food everywhere we go. Which is why we are a country full of overweight people. Being a good steward of your body isn't something you hear Pastors or others in ministry talking about to much. Why, I ask. Are they afraid of hurting someones feelings and they leave the church or they are overweight themselves as Leaders in the church so they don't talk about it. Gluttony is a sin but it's a sin that is never talked about in the church as being a sin. We all struggle with different things and we all continue to sin daily. Food for some is that sin. Unfortunately it is an outward sin that all can see just like the person who is drunk and gets picked up for drunk driving and their name is in the paper, or the teenager or unwed women who is pregnant, it is a sin we can all see. Many of us have closed door sins that maybe your family doesn't even know about but God does.

But back to being a good steward of our bodies, after studying this based off of finances I have applied this to my mouth and what goes in it. I think before I eat and ask will this nourish my body or just fill a void. I stop eating when I'm content and don't overeat just because it is there.
And lastly I make time to workout 4-5 times a week to keep my body healthy for Darryl and for my children, and for God.
Was your New Year's Resolution to lose weight????
How is it going???
Maybe it will help you when you think about it as God commands us to be good stewards of all He has given us. He has given you your body and life and you need to be a good steward of it. Next time you go for whatever "trigger" food think is this for nourishment or to feel a need I have right now.
This is my life right now focusing on being a good steward not only of my finances, but my possessions, my animal, my children and my body.
It is a daily struggle and I sometimes fail(getting buttered popcorn at the Bijou putting M&M's on top of it and getting a re-fill when I ate it all gone) but I press on towards the goal of being healthy!

Hotel for Dog

2009-02-21T22:44:00.002-05:00

Today I took the kids to Mt.Vernon to see Hotel for Dogs. To tell you the truth I wasn't excited about going. The last movie I saw with the kids was at Christmas and I was so so bored. So I asked Trevor earlier if he would like me to stay or could I just drop him and Alivia off and come back for them. Unfortunately he wanted me to stay so I went.
I somewhat new what the movie was about from previews but not to the extent that it went. It was a really good story line about a sister and brother who are in foster care with a couple who really don't like them and are just doing it for the money. The foster care mom is played by Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe from friends) and she does a great job...it reminded me of Friends. Anyway she does things like padlocking the food cupboard so the foster kids can't just eat whenever, and the food she serves them is gross.
The kids have a Jack Russell Terrier named Friday who roams around during the day and they try to find food for him. The kids get into trouble and Friday happens to find this abandoned hotel for him and the kids to hind out from.
Over the course of the movie the foster kids and 3 other children rescue dogs from the area so they don't have to go to the pound and get killed.
They get caught and get into a lot of trouble. Their social worker who always made sure they stayed together had to separate them after their foster parents didn't want them anymore because the stole things from them to make items for the hotel where the dogs were.
In the end the social worker and his wife decide to adopt these two kids (I got teary eyed), and the Hotel for Dogs lived on as a adopt a dog program plus.

If you are thinking about it , go see it. A good movie for both kids and adults with a lot of good lessons to teach your kids after it's over with if you want.

Tuesday nights = TV Night

2009-02-17T18:21:00.002-05:00

After a busy day in Marion/CR all day I look forward to a relaxing TV night.
I have to flip back and forth between American Idol and Biggest Loser, then at 9:00pm it is my naughty show Nip Tuck and I go upstairs for that and then put the kids to bed and watch the season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County until 11:00pm.

So for now I'm off to make an easy supper of tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches and then get all my chores done quickly so by 7:00pm I'm ready to veg out.

Hope you all have a great Tuesday and remember to relax and enjoy a wonderful night of TV watching.

It's too late to blog

2009-02-16T22:38:00.002-05:00

It's amazing how many nights I lay awake thinking of things that I should have put on my blog that day. A lot of times it political stuff because those that are in the GOP are really ticking me off but I'm trying not to do to much political stuff.
Although, I did tonight see the first part of Bristol Plain's interview on Fox w/ Greta and I have she say she gives an interview like her mom. In short she sounded dumb and her answers had no truth behind them they sounded prerecorded. She just needs to get away from the camera and focus on being a teen mom.

Then as I was getting ready to workout, and republican friend ( yes, unlike the GOP and others I'm able to be bi-partisan) who had just finished his workout started talking politics with me. He went on about Rush and I went on about what an idiot Rush is and I can't believe he has his own talk show because he sounds like an idiot 99% of the time. But he likes Rush and that's fine I like Keith and how he makes fun of the idiotic things Rush says almost everyday.

Tomorrow will be another day in history as Obama signs the Stimulus Bill @ 2:00pm. I again will be in Marion running kids around.....Vanessa are you having me drive on purpose on Tuesday so I miss my friend Barack when ever he talks??? Just kidding girly I know it just happens to be that way :)

Is this bill perfect??? No. Is it great???? Maybe. Is it good??? YES!! It will help Americans get jobs and create money back into our economy.
The bible says that we should seek counsel from others, this stimulus package has been looked over by a lot of economic leaders and they all agree it will help our economy. Are they Christians... I don't know but they do understand things that we don't about our economy so I put my trust in them and in God that this will help our country and all the people that are hurting out there that we don't see.

What saddens me is how you have those in the GOP who vote against the stimulus bill and then get on camera and say how great specific things in the bill will be for their state. This is hypocrisy and it is coming out on all the news channels. So it raises the question...did they just vote no out of spite or to prove a point to the new President that they don't want by-partisanship, or did they vote no because they believe this was not the best package for the people they represent.

My thoughts are they voted thinking of themselves and of the party, but not for the millions of people in this country that are out of work and losing everything they own. Because they aren't in their shoes.... they have 2,3,4, maybe even 9 houses so they don't know how desperate the middle class in this country is. How desperate we are for something to change and for someone to help us out instead of just thinking of themselves first.

OK wait, I guess I did say I was going to do less talking about politics and then here I go again.
I'm done......for today.

6 month check-up

2009-02-09T16:56:00.002-05:00

Today was Trevor and Alivia's six month dental check up and cleaning.
Trevor went back and after about 30min. came out with a clean bill of dental teeth. No cavities!!!!!

Alivia went back at the same time so when her appt. took about 10 min. longer I thought maybe we were in for some bad news. And I was correct. She has a cavity on her back baby tooth that will get fixed on Thursday and then she has the beginning of one on the other side of her mouth on a back adult tooth.

After getting her teeth pulled last summer and fainting after they did it she is not a big fan of the dentist because she is scared. Now I told her this is just a cleaning and if she had cavities they would fix them at a different date. So pray for her and her trip in on Thursday. I will probably go back with her so she is more relaxed.

We talked about how she has to slow down and brush better so that way she only has to go to the dentist twice a year. Because she dislikes going I hope that, that is motivation for her to brush better.

Hopefully all will go well on Thursday, if not I'll let you know :)

Busy Sunday.....No rest :(

2009-02-09T16:35:00.002-05:00

It's not to often I like to be busy from morning until after the sun goes down. That is unless I'm in so warm tropical getaway or even NYC but I wasn't on Sunday I was here in IOWA.

We went to Sunday School, Darryl and I are taking a financial class by the christian finance group Crown Ministries and it is so good but a lot of work to prepare for it. We are learning so much about how we view "stuff" and also of how we treat "stuff" are we good stewards of what God has given us. So with this class I have a lot of time praying, about how we are doing on the way we (mainly me) spends Darryl paycheck. Darryl has been blessed with a job he has been at for a while and so he earns enough for us to pay the bills and then some all without a college education. That is why I do feel so blessed by his employer because he didn't go to college and makes the amount he does. Also they are doing another round of layoffs at his work because the buying of Chiropractic tables is low but his department in the service area is staying busy so I'm thankful he has a job. So anyway we were up early for Sunday School and then into church.

After that we had a birthday party in CR at Chuck E. Cheese. We get inside and the dorky worker said "are you guys ready for some fun?" I said "sure do you have any drugs?". Oh relax it's not that bad. Have you ever been to Chuck E. Cheese on a Sunday afternoon..... it was packed with hundreds of kids running everywhere and let's just say there was more then just me that left with a headache. But the kids had a good time so I guess that's what matters.

We got home at 4:00pm and we had our Care Group from church coming over at 5:00pm. I did all the cleaning on Saturday knowing I would be gone all day Sunday. So the house was clean it just needed a tidy up. So I did that, made punch, dipped strawberries in chocolate and got out cups, plates and silverware for all to use. We had a great time and learned about 3 of our couples trip to Moody Christian college. Everyone left about 8:30 and I plopped down on the couch and didn't move until 10pm bedtime.
Put the kids to bed and woke up at 9:20 this morning. A much needed sleep in after a long Sunday.

A call saved me money.

2009-02-03T11:47:00.002-05:00

Darryl and I started last week a Crown Financial class at our church.
For Sunday School they were offering 3 classes this one sounded the most interesting and since I do the finances in our home I thought I might some pointers.
For this class you have to set up a budget and then write down all things that you purchase.
I have been doing this for months to track and see where are money is going and why at the end of the month we have $0 or are in the negative.
One way I thought to save money was to get rid of our landline and just use our cell phones. But our Internet service is through our phone company so I needed to check with them and see if you have to have phone or can you just have Internet with no landline.
I call Iowa Telecom and tell them that I'm looking at getting rid of our landline and can I get just Internet and if I can how much a month.
The nice guy on the end said at this time Iowa Telecom doesn't offer Internet without a basic phone service. Then he pulls up our account and sees that we are at a slower Internet speed then what their standard package is so he bumps us up to almost double the Internet speed for the same price as the lower. Then he tells me they are having a promotion on the package we have and says he can discount our phone from $27.87 a month to $19.99 a month for two years. And then after two years it will go back up to the $27 price. There is no contract so I say sure because although it's not a lot it is an extra 7.87 a month.
So I guess we will stay with Iowa Telecom and keep our cell phones as is at least for a while or until Lisbon gets more then one company for phone service. I was just amazed at how one phone call got me fast Internet for free and $8 taken off my phone bill and it only took about 15 min. to save.
If you all have other money saving tips please let me know or post them on Facebook for all to read. I'm going to watch Oprah (I usually don't) because I saw a preview that she was going to have a lady tell about lots of different ways to save $$$$. So tune in today at 4:00pm if you need some tips as well.

Super Sitter Class to much

2009-01-26T19:52:00.004-05:00

Alivia went into the homeschool today for a Super Sitter class put on by the Marion Fire Dept.

She was very excited about the class where she would learn all things necessary to start babysitting.

I took Trevor to Vanessa's to do school and hang with Camden and I needed a cut and color so I made my appt. at City Looks to get it done.

I get Trevor dropped off, and Alivia checked in and paid for and I was off to run a few errands and then to my hair appt.

All was going well it was 12:45 and I was done at City Looks and heading for the van when my cell phones rings. A number I didn't recognize so I wait for them to leave a message and check it.

It was the teacher who organized the sitter class calling me to tell me Alivia was feeling faint and could I come and get her. So off I went to the homeschool to see what was up. I go downstairs and their she is lying on the floor and they are trying to take her temp. Mrs. Bazan tells me that Alivia told her she felt like she was going to faint and so they had brought her out into the hall to lay down. I felt her head and she felt normal to me. The lady firefighter who was doing the class came out and told me she was talking about blood and sometimes this bothers some kids. Well it bothered Alivia because by the time we got home she was fine.

So I asked Alivia what the lady was talking about. She said about a kid getting cut on the head and how it was bleeding and then she told how on another call she went on a girl was carrying scissors and fell and they went into her eye. That's when Alivia told Mrs. Bazan she was not feeling good. I knew Alivia had somewhat of a weak stomach just not that weak. But I understand it was not just her because as I was pulling the car up and Alivia was inside she said 3 girls came up and told Mrs.Bazan that a girl in the class had thrown-up.

You send your kid to a baby sitter class to learn some basics in child care so they are prepared and mine ends up light headed from the talk of blood and another vomits from the talk about blood. Had I known it was going to get this bad I would have had Darryl teach her CPR and the Heimlich and I would have taught her diaper changing, direct pressure on an open cut, calling 911 and then the parents etc.

Super Sitter class was interesting and it taught me that I need to find out first what all the teacher is going to teach before I send my child to the class, just like I would do if my children were in public school so I could pull them out if there was anything I disapproved of.

Alivia will soon be able to babysit for you since her dad is going to teach her CPR and the Heimlich. So if you are in need give her a call.

Here is the pic of my chopped and colored hair :)

Skiing in Illinois

2009-01-23T14:08:00.003-05:00

Yesterday as a family we went to Chestnut Mountain in Illinois for a skiing field trip. Darryl use to ski before him and I were dating and we went one time to Chestnut while dating where he tried to teach me how to ski. That didn't go over well. I was trying to do it and his patience is little. Trevor found out the same thing yesterday before ski class as Darryl was trying to help him on the faster hill. But Trevor just liked going fast and to slow down he would wipe out. It made me nervous but God kept him safe during his wipe outs, and Trevor was happy doing it his way.

Both kids picked it up well before our lesson as did I. We all had the rookie hill mastered. So we moved on to the next hill which went down at three different spots and curved twice. The first time I went down I wiped out 3 time because I was going to fast for my comfort and my snow plowing was not slowing me down enough. So instead of dying I wiped out. But then came my hubby to help we up which seemed impossible to maneuver my skis and lift my self up. I was laughing so hard Darryl had to do most of the work in getting me up the first time. But then him and the kids finished the hill and waited for me as I wiped out two more times and had to release one of my skis in order to get up.

After our lesson we had lunch and went back to it. Alivia stayed on the rookie hill that she had mastered. Trevor went back and forth between the rookie hill and the next level as did I, and Darryl went down all the hills by himself and luckily didn't get hurt. He was the only one who had ski-er form. The rest of us stuck with the wedge or putting our skis in the shape of a V.

I though for sure my butt and legs would be super sore but they aren't today and the kids and Darryl seem to be fine as well.

It was a great family outing and a very cheap price, and we all had a great time.

Keri thanks for letting me borrow your jacket :)

Good Bye 2008

2008-12-31T10:44:00.002-05:00

As I reflect back on this year a lot of things have happened both good and bad. Let's start with a positive note and go with the good..........
In April I was able to see Bon Jovi in concert for free with my friend Sherry. They were just as good as when I had seen them in the 80's. It was awesome!!!!
I turned 36 in April and it was a good day, we all went to an indoor waterpark for fun.
Trevor got his blue belt in Tae Kwon Do.
We went to Indianola to the hot air balloon festival which was pretty amazing to see hundreds of hot air balloons all together.
RAGBRAI came through the little town of Lisbon and downtown was crazy with bikers.
My parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary and Darryl and I celebrated our 15th.
I started running for exercise and ran in 4 5k's.
The DNC was a killer week and very moving (go Democrats!!!)
We did a remodel on our living room that we had talked about for a year.
and last but certainly not least something I'm still pumped about and can't wait until Jan. 20,2009 is I voted Obama/Biden and he WON!!!! The first black man to become President of the United States.......history making in the present.

Now for the other side bad things..........
It was a long cold winter with a lot of snow.
Gas prices continued to rise up to $3.99 a gallon.
June floods in CR and surrounding areas near the rivers.
The economy which got worse and worse as the months went on and everything for consumers got higher and higher.
Alivia fainted at the dentist after getting two teeth pulled to get her ready for braces.
I continue to have two different health problems.
Darryl developed an allergy to our laundry soap we think and had two pinch nerves.
President Bush was a terrible President. Not for this year but for the past 7 years. I'm happy to see him go bye bye.

So that is 2008 in a nut shell. I'm looking forward to 2009 and have a few goals in mind already for the New Year. I hope you all have a great 2009 and a Happy New Year's Eve tonight.
Remember to thank God for all the people in your life that have helped you make it through 2008. I know I have a list of them.

A great day.

2008-12-29T16:15:00.004-05:00

It finally came......Christmas!!! Trevor woke up at 4:00am and then went into his sisters bedroom and woke her up and then came into our bedroom to see if he and his sister could get up and wait downstairs until we got up. The answer was NO!! So he went back into his sisters room and fell asleep with her until 7 and then dad made them wait until I woke up which was at 7:45.

They got out all the presents from under the tree and took the gifts out of their stockings.

Trevor got Pokemon XD from us, Super Monkey Ball from Alivia, and two Wii remotes, a pokemon ds game, and pokemon cards from Santa. He got a Sonic game from grandma Studt, pj's and slippers from Grandpa and Grandma Freeman, and a ds game from uncle Sean.

Alivia got a manatee webkins from Trevor, a robe and pj's from us, and Disney sing it, hair stuff, and a ds game from Santa. A cd and calender from Grandma Studt, slippers and pj's from Grandpa and Grandma Freeman and a Hannah Montana little camera from Uncle Sean. Oh yes and we can't forget the What not to Wear vinyl pants from grandma Freeman as well.

Darryl got a bible cover, iPod shuffle, 19" flat computer monitor from us, a Carhartt sweatshirt from my dad, dress socks and cash from mommy and candy from Aunt Marcia.

Together we got a new keyboard and mouse, a under the counter can opener, a handheld mixer and some bedding from my parents.

Darryl got me a purple iPod nano, a gift card to Gordman's and some slippers. I got earrings, and cash from his mom, a bird feeder from my half sister , a candle from a friend, bath soap from a different friend and an Amazon gift card from another friend.

It was a wonderful Christmas had by all. I hope yours was good as well.

Christmas is near.......

2008-12-19T23:28:00.003-05:00

Christmas is coming near and I think Trevor says about 50 times everyday how excited he is.
This week will be full of activities. Sunday morning the kids have their Christmas program at church. Trevor plays a disciple and a Jew and Alivia is in the chorus. They are doing The Three Trees play. Then Sunday night we are going to our old church First Federated to hear their cantata in which my mother-in-law sings and we go every year to see friends.
Tomorrow we are going into CR for Darryl to finish his Christmas shopping for me and to buy 3 pairs of shoes for needy children in our area. Monday the kids have school and chiropractic apts. at 2:15 and Trevor has a sax lesson at 3.
Tuesday I think things are quite so we may go sledding and Wed. is the Christmas eve service at church and I said I would help get the sanctuary ready with candles etc. so it is beautiful and calming for that night. Somewhere in there I need to bake 3 pies, and make cookies and other Christmas goodies. I guess I better do that Tuesday when it's slow.
It is a busy time of year, but I hope you all can breath and relax for a few minutes and enjoy what the celebration is really about.....Christ.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow......

2008-12-16T15:15:00.002-05:00

Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.....

And since we no place to go.....Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow.

And that is what it is doing today in Iowa. It started at about 10:00am and looks like it will keep coming down until tonight.

And I did have places to go today but they will have to wait until tomorrow.....hopefully.

The kids are getting super excited for Christmas and are counting down the days. I'm all done with Christmas shopping, I just need to get a gift for my dad and nephew Saylor who turns one on my dad's birthday this Thursday. Plus I need to pick up our Christmas cards so I can get them mailed out. I was planning on doing that this afternoon until the weather decided to come earlier then the weather men thought. So hopefully tomorrow I can get out and go.

Trevor made a snowman on Friday and by Sunday morning it was almost gone. We had Saturday and Sunday being in the 40's so most snow around here had melted along with his creation. He was disappointed that it only lasted a day but after this snow storm hopefully he will get to make another one.

Alivia is out enjoying the weather and I have already got the snow blower out to get ahead start on this storm. I'm sure sledding and maybe no school will be on the kids list of things to do tomorrow in the a.m.

Enjoy the SNOW !!

Another lovely day in Iowa

2008-12-11T13:08:00.002-05:00

As I look out my window I still see ice all over my driveway. Of course there is no way our snow removal guy Ed can get rid of the ice and it hasn't been warm enough for it to melt. Today after talking to my friend Arlene I'm thankful that I don't live in the country where the roads are still so bad that school buses won't drive on them. I don't mind the snow as much as what I really don't like the ice. But this is Iowa and that's what happens.
I was talking to my dad last night and my mom for sure will be done working this year at the age of 76 and next year at this time I will be thinking about Alabama. He is already looking at places around where his sister lives to snowbird to after Christmas. And I told Darryl if they go south I will be gone for 2-4 weeks with them. Another great thing about homeschooling is I can just pack up and leave!! So I'm already looking forward to Jan. 2010 going south to warm up for a few weeks.
My parents will be having big changes in their lives for 2009. They are going to be selling their home and moving into a ranch (somewhere) because it is getting harder and harder for both of them to climb up and down stairs. They will stay around CR area since us kids are here and I would love for them to move back to Lisbon/Mt.Vernon area but prop. taxes are a lot higher out here then in CR. So hopefully around spring we (my sister and I) can paint and get their house ready to be sold and they can find a home with everything on the 1st floor.

It looks cold out today.....the kids want to go sledding.....and I need to go workout at the gym......
so I hope you all enjoy this day with your family and stay warm.
Because it is another lovely day in Iowa.

It Is Finished

2008-11-12T14:38:00.003-05:00

God said it after creating everything in this world and I'm saying it because I think we are done with the remodel. The ceiling has been raised almost 2 feet, there is now a framed out opening between my living room and kitchen which will help get heat in there in the winter time, painting and trim work are done downstairs, I just painted the lower part of the hallway last night and Darryl needs to help we reach the impossible places upstairs in the hallway, he has wallpaper to hang in the kitchen so it all matches up where we had to take some down and I have some trim in the kitchen to paint which shouldn't take to long. Other then that we are moved back in and done.

The pics are of the living room looking into the kitchen, kitchen towards the fireplace and lastly the kids tv/school room.

It's nice that it's done and slowly and as money allows we will get this house all updated and ready to sell in 8 -9 years. Next project I want to do is rip out carpet downstairs in the living room and kitchen and expose and refinish the hardwood floors. Darryl is tired from this last update and so I hope around springtime if we have the money we can do it.

What have I been doing.......

2008-11-07T10:28:00.002-05:00

It's been a while I see since I put anything on my blog. Darryl is gone this weekend in Oklahoma
(I always want to sing when I say that states name) to a gun show. He goes every year and this year he thinks he needs to stock up before the awesome new President takes over this country in January.
I have been very busy painting and getting my living room back in order. After Darryl gets back (since he took the camera) I will post the completed living room. I just finished painting trim last night since since we were able to get our free granite countertop installed this week. Now I think I'm done with painting...yyyyeeeaaaahhhh!
I've also been busy on Facebook posting and commenting on political things that really tick people off. Freedom of speech and freedom to vote how I want are two things I love about my country. Things did get heated sometimes with my christian friends but we would all take a breather and return. Most of them the big issue was abortion which has been legal in our country since 1973. During which from then until 2008 republicans have been in the White House all but the 8 years that Clinton was in. For me abortion isn't something I vote on. For that I hold to God being able to stop it if and when He chooses. There are a lot of sins that go on inside and outside the Christian faith because we are all sinners and continue to sin. So voting on just one of those sins murder doesn't seem logical to me. What about don't lie... I think every time Palin talked she lied about something and McCain had his and so did Obama so maybe as a Christian you shouldn't vote for anyone because they all lie. Palin abused her power as gov. another sin. Mccain is a little over weight and maybe a glutton another sin.
OK sorry I'm going on and on my point is sin is sin we may put degrees on it but God just sees it as SIN.
I have one more problem with Christians and teaching their children about the issue of abortion. I continue to hear from my children that their friends say Obama kills children. This is from more then one friend from different families. Obama doesn't kill children if he did he would be in jail. Or then you better say Reagen, Bush Sr. and Bush Jr kill children because abortion has been legal under all their administrations. They don't kill children so teach the truth!!! In our country our supreme court voted to allow women to kill their unborn child if they decided they didn't want to have a baby. So these women are the ones who sin and actually go in and terminate their pregnancy. So as Christians we need to pray for our court justices and for someone to come along side these women and help them during this scary time of an unplanned pregnancy and give them other options. Instead of teaching them wrong things teach them ways they can pray for our country and women in our country and maybe spend some time volunteering at a place like Aid to Women of donating money to them so they can help women in crisis. If that is your passion then do something about it and serve God in that way.

So did I answer the question of what I've been doing????
Today at noon I'm going to get my hair colored and cut. I have a friend visiting and coming over about 4pm when we will go to Coral ridge Mall and eat and let the kids ice skate. I have her daughter over here all day playing with....Trevor. Yes Trevor they are both gamers. Alivia will be going over to my mother-in-laws before my hair appt. to play with her cousins visiting from Chicago. So today I have a full day and the kids have a full day of fun and no school!
Hope you all have a great weekend.

Under Construction

2008-10-21T15:40:00.003-04:00

We are still living in two rooms here at the Studt house. Darryl was able to get all the plaster taken out a very messy, dirty job and then update the electrical. Put in a lot of can lights and more light switches, and hang drywall. It's taken a bit but he's doing great and doing it all by himself after working 10 hour days at work.

He is not a master drywaller so we got a couple of bids for guys who do this for a living to come in a mud/tape/sand and put a light texture on the walls. We were thinks about 16-20hrs at about $30.00 and hour plus about $100 for materials. OK we have money that we saved from his bonus check in September to do this raising the ceiling project so we can hire someone for this part of the job.

The first bid we get is $1,120. The second bid is $1,889. We still haven't got in the mail the bid from the other guy. So on Saturday Darryl just started it himself. His friend Jim Jones came over for a few hours on Sunday to help which was great. He plans to be done by Saturday so I can start painting to get the house back together before Thanksgiving here.

During this raising of the ceiling I wanted to rip out the blue carpet and expose the wood floors crafted by Americans many many years ago. Darryl was not to sure wood was under the whole area. Well he had to take out a frames in area which was attached to the floor and low and behold I have real wood floors underneath. Now my next job to to talk with his friend George who installs wood flooring and have him help me convince Darryl to expose the wood and he will bring over the commercial sander and fix them up for us. Not sure if this can happen before Thanksgiving but I would love it.

Here are some pics of where we are at now.

Anamosa Pumpkin Fest

2008-10-04T21:47:00.003-04:00

Darryl and i headed out this morning at 7:00am to go up to Anamosa for the 5K run. I'm staying consistent doing it in the same time as Lisbon's. After we got home I showered and took the kids back up so they could see the enormous pumpkins and watermelons. We headed over to the pumpkin carving building and were able to see 30 different carved pumpkins. I'm hoping to try a unique carving on my white pumpkin this year but these people did excellent. Keri you should try this. Trevor voted for Charlie Brown as his favorite pumpkin and Alivia and I voted for Jesus as our favorite. It was a nice day for it. And we had a great time.

After we got home from Anamosa we had lunch and then left for Alivia's soccer game. Alivia scored her first goal of this season!!! We are so proud of her!!

Visit to Kroul's Farm

2008-10-04T21:41:00.002-04:00

I know we were just at a pumpkin patch, but on Friday it was so nice that we had to get out of the house. So the kids and I loaded up and went down to Kroul's farm. It seem to be lacking this year but that be because of the flood waters. Anyway here are some pics of our short trip.

Going to the pumpkin farm

2008-09-29T13:49:00.003-04:00

We went to Indianola, Ia this weekend to visit our friends and so Darryl could go to the Kansas City Nascar race. On Sunday we went out to this wonderful pumpkin farm they have about 20 min. away from Indianola. Both kids decided to pick out green pumpkins this year. Trevor will carve his and Alivia is painting hers right now. Here are the pics of them and their pumpkins and of the Sullivan kids and my kids.

Maxx the Morning Dove

2008-09-29T13:38:00.003-04:00

Last Sunday we (Trevor, Alivia and I) came home from my parent's house to see a morning dove in the driveway with a broken wing. The kids took care of it by giving it water and bird food and the name Maxx.

As night came Maxx was getting weaker and weaker and not moving around as much. The kids prayed for Maxx that night and said there good-byes to him.

By morning Maxx was gone. So Trevor and Alivia made cross head stone for Maxx out of popsicle sticks and when Darryl came home they buried Maxx and put there crosses by where he was buried in the yard.

They have been rained on but Trevor's says " Here lies the bird we tried to save but failed his name is Maxx"

Alivia's says "God Bless You Maxx"

I will make sure in our will that we have Alivia be in charge of what the headstone says and not Trevor. I can see it now.... Here are my parents dead in the ground.

Buy all you want....She'll make more!

2008-09-20T14:24:00.003-04:00

I like watching political tv at night and sometimes during the day if the candidates are talking. Now McCain has had a bad week in changing his mind on things and giving the right initials for the correct company he is talking about. I'm sure he is wishing all these wall street people had names instead of initials so he could keep it all straight. Poor guy.... at 72 your memory has to be failing you.
Then there is someone I truly dislike Sarah Palin. I feel towards her what republicans feel towards Hillary. So I will pick on her more then McCain. Since she has been named VP candidate the lies keeping coming out of her mouth as they would let say, maybe.....satan.
1) The TelePrompter broke during the RNC when she was speaking. This has been proven false by many, many people. Lie #1
2) I fired my personal chef. Really then why are they still cooking for you and your family. Lie#2
3)I took a pay cut which displeased my husband. True if a pay cut is when your salary increases. I mean it's on the record lady. Lie#3
4)I had to deal with 20% of the US Domestic Supply of Oil and Gas. That would be true if 20% and 13% were the same and equal numbers. Lie#4
5)She has reformed earmarks so the money isn't spent on things that doesn't serve the public. Then why did you give money to the research of the Bering Sea Crab and how they mate. I don't think that serves the public. Lie#5
6) Went to Iraq. Too bad you never did Lie#6
7) I told congress "Thanks but no thanks to the Bridge to Knowwhere" This is a favorite of mine since she has repeated it many times. And it has been proven that she supported it until Congress told her no. So why does she continue to say this when by now we know it to be false. Lie #7

Now let's move on to things that make her look stupid and deceitful.

She came to CR this past Thursday and spoke at the airport. It is reported that she said when she takes office she would make sure the federal checkbook was online just like what she did in Alaska so taxpayers know where their money is going. This is a great idea!!! In fact Obama thought it was great to which is why it has been online since 2006 when Obama said they needed to do that. My thought is that with McCain inventing the Blackberry that some of his lobbyist on his campaign could have looked on their Blackberry's and seen that it is available online before having Palin say it and look like an idiot.

I call this "Troopergate". Before becoming the VP candidate she was fully in favor of the investigation and all voted in Alaska to have it done. Now republicans in Alaska, McCain and Palin are trying to stop it and/or delay it until after Nov. 4th. Her husband Todd will not go in to answer questions about "troopergate"and it seems as if they are hiding something.
I just heard last night that their stalling will not work and the lawyer in this case is determined to have this case settled by Oct.31. I was so excited to hear this. I mean if you have nothing to hide get it over with. I can't wait to hear the outcome.

Now this last one may be new to you reading this but I had to get it out. Keith Olbermann from MSNBC decided to give $100 to charity for each lie Sarah Palin tells. On Friday night I watched him write a check for $3,700. Now the kicker is the charity he picked. Sarah Palin in order to save money in Alaska cut money in the budget to the Special Olympics. They went from receiving $550 and she cut it in half down to $275. There are many things that are sad about this. They don't give that much money to the Special Olympics anyway so what is an extra $275. And now that she has a special needs child will we see the giving go up into the thousands since she can relate. Thanks to Keith and Sarah Palin's 37 lies the Special Olympics will have some extra money to help put on this awesome event.

So as we continue on to Nov. 4th and the lies continue to fall easily from her mouth
Buy all you want.....She'll make more.

Remembering 9/11/01

2008-09-11T17:00:00.002-04:00

I had to go to Marion today and when I went by a business I thought why is the flag flying at half staff? Then I remembered the day. What a terrible day in American history. Since we weren't home today I'm sure tonight they will be some shows on this tragic event that the kids and I will watch.

I was at Ground Zero in 2005 and 2007 and will go back in 2009. The change from 2005 to 2007 was incredible. These pictures are from 2004 when we went over the anniversary.

Ground Zero is a sad place where you can feel the sadness when standing there looking at it.

Seeing it up close it's hard to believe what actually happened on that day. So today take time to pray for those who continue here on earth, living without their loved ones.

RNC In Minnesota

2008-09-08T15:42:00.003-04:00

OK the RNC is done and I'm finally done vomiting and peeing my pants with laughter to where I think I can write this. Mental note next year I will buy Depends for when Republicans talk because it is to hilarious the things they say.
The first night all I heard was Joe L. because I wanted to see what a back stabbing independent traitor would say. Well it wasn't too bad and I was glad to see he gave Pres. Clinton the congrats on balancing the budget(since Bush has sent us into deficit) and us having a surplus by the time his eight years were up.
The next night was Sarah Palin.
As for her position as Gov. she wanted to have Alaska break away from the USA and was in support of that happening. She voted for the Bridge to Nowhere before she ever voted against it. She is also under investigation for a firing of an employee for personal reasons. Normally this case would have been settled by October but since she recently decided to hire a lawyer the case will not get decided until after the election. Now isn't that convenient.
Listening to her speech she is now called a pit bull. Pit Bulls are mean Jesus was meek. During her speech I would have NEVER guessed she was a Christan. I just don't think Ann Graham Lotz, Elizabeth George, Ruth Graham Bell, Sheila Welsh, Martha Peace etc..... would ever talk in such a way. She doesn't represent what a Christian is very well. Her speech is not honoring Him. She should have said " I won't slander others and spread untruths. Write me a speech about what I can do to help McCain and this country."
Now on to McCain.... I actually like him better now then before the convention. He has a few plans for our country that I like. He seemed more genuine, then his VP pick.
Although Christians should know that he voted against theFMA bill which would define marriage as between one man and one women. Which is why the Log Cabin Republicans supported him for President.
I guess my question of all of this is WHY do Christians think either candidate is a great wholesome choice. I guess it's a question that I will never understand why.

Trevor's new cut

2008-09-04T14:38:00.002-04:00

Trevor got a haircut last Wed. and then this Wed. this is what happened.

He loves it!!! I would have liked it to be red or blue but white works to.

Remodeling the Living Room

2008-09-03T12:09:00.003-04:00

Darryl started this week on tearing out the celing in our living room. It was originally close to 10 feet high when it was built back in the early 1900's and we wanted to restore that look. Actually I think he just wants to get a tall Christmas tree. Anyway we have the big screen tv in the dining room along with one couch. We moved the other couch into the hottub room where there is now, two couches, the computer, tthe tv, the hottub, the kids' school book case and an antique buffet. Needless to say we are crowded into two rooms downstairs. I'm glad we have a tv in our bedroom because I seem to be retreating there a lot :)

School starts tomorrow!!

2008-09-01T21:27:00.002-04:00

Well today is Labor day and after a long morning working at the Pancake Breakfast, I was able to get in a nap this afternoon and have been relaxing.
Now I'm getting things ready for the first day of school tomorrow. We have been doing things at least a few times a week all summer so it should be an easy transition. or I hope. Trevor will be in 6th grade and Alivia is in 4th. I can't believe I've been homeschooling for 6years!!
I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day and were able to take it easy and enjoy your families.

Labor day

2008-08-29T13:36:00.002-04:00

Well this is the final weekend of summer :( The pool will be closing and the Studt's will be starting school. We will not be able to get in another camping trip :( and I wonder where did summer go?
Darryl wants to start this weekend tearing out the drywall in our ceiling in order to raise it back up to the original height of almost 10feet. So we will be using heavy tarps and moving all the furniture out in order to keep it from getting dusty. I may be going to my mother-in-laws to live if I can't handle the dust with my allergies. Because above the drywall will be a plaster ceiling which will be extremely dusty to remove in order to hang new drywall.

Then Labor Day is the Lisbon Fire Dept. pancake breakfast. Darryl will get there early and I will roll in between 8am-9am to help clean up tables, wash dishes, and make sure the butter and pancake syrup on the table is full. So a normal day for me besides the early morning part :)

I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day and a great last weekend of SUMMER!

The DNC

2008-08-28T17:50:00.003-04:00

Tonight we finish up the DNC and it has been a good one. I don't know that in the past that I have taken time to watch but this year I did get to see a lot of it. Michelle Obama had a great speech the first night. Hillary Clinton who I didn't caucus for did an excellent job. I clapped four times up in my room at what she was saying. She was very much to the point of what an a** Bush is and how McCain will continue this country on the wrong path. The more I thought about she spoke on the 88th anniversary of women having gotten the right to VOTE. And had she won the most delegates I would have voted for her and History would have been made not only for her being the first women President but being the only wife of a former president to be voted in. How cool!!!! Then Joe Biden spoke last night. He has had a lot of misfortune in his life and had been a single dad after the death of his wife and other children in a car accident. He would be an excellent Vice Pres. and a great choice for Obama. Then I was able to listen to former Pres. Clinton and he too will go down in DNC history of being a very good speaker and inspiring the Democrats to come together and get a Democrat into office.
And then tonight Barack Obama. He laid out his plan for America if he was elected. It is exactly what this country needs. Eight years HAS been ENOUGH! Life for the middle class ("those who make under 5 million" -McCain )yeah right!, will change and we will have more money to work with and to use to help our children out and ourselves. If you didn't get a chance to listen to it, get online and listen to his speech. I will listen to McCain's when it comes his turn and see what he has to say that he will do. I hope he sticks with facts and doesn't make petty remarks about Obama and his love for this country etc. Like his political ads do. He just needs to give us the truth and the facts of his plan and keep his opinions to himself. Because they are lies.

Anyway it was a great week for Democrats at the National Convention.
Don't vote on one issue that hasn't changed with republicans in office, and think about the America you want and the opportunities you want for your kids and make an educated choice.

Tramatic Day at the Dentist

2008-08-22T10:16:00.004-04:00

Alivia had a dentist appointment yesterday to get two baby teeth pulled. She was getting these pulled as requested by her orthodontist so her big tooth would have room when it came down.
So of course she was nervous but a brave little girl. I told her if she can get stitches in her lip she can do this and it would be a lot easier. Well I lied :(

He worked on the bigger tooth first which was towards the back of the mouth and it had some big strong roots. It was gross for me to watch him try to get that tooth out. But at last yeah it was out. So he gave her a few minutes and the next tooth would have fallen out this year and so we knew it would be an easy pop out and it was.
We finish up he gives me the instructions about soft food etc. They put her chair up, she gets up and goes to the "prize room" to pick out something. We walk to the receptionists desk and I'm talking a little to her . Alivia says to me "I feel dizzy". I put my arm around her she puts her head on my side, her eyes roll up in the back of her head and she goes limp. I carefully get her to the floor and yell for the dentist who is just a steps away. He comes out gets the gauze out of her mouth and about a minute later she comes back to us.

She is still glassy eyed and wondering why mom is crying and why there are 4 people from the dentist office looking at her and why is she lying on the ground.
So she slowly gets up we have her lay down for a while on the couch at the office. She drinks some sprite complains that her stomach really hurts and her head. I tell her to relax and just close her eyes.

So after a while we get ready and go. I call Darryl crying and tell him what happened and how I didn't freak out on the outside but on the inside I was panicked at seeing this happen to my child.
So she took it easy yesterday and laid on the couch all day and night. This morning she woke up had $6.00 from the tooth fairy although the tooth fairy thought about giving her $50 :)
And is back to her chipper self and acting normal, and I couldn't be happier!

IOWA STATE Fair

2008-08-16T11:15:00.002-04:00

We get up at 6:30am Friday morning to get ready to go to my parent's home in CR to go to the fair. We get there a little after 8am and wait for my mom to finish breakfast and head out. It was my mom, sister and her two little ones and myself and my kids. We always take her van to places far away since we get to park up front in handicap parking ;).

We arrive around 10am get everything unloaded and head in. We get to see a magic show which my kid's loved and then headed off to the barn area to see animals which my 3 yr. old nephew want to see. I took extra allergy pills that day since I'm allergic to hay (which was everywhere) and wool ( they sheep barn was a killer). So we spend almost 4 hours looking at animals with my sister taking lots of pics.

My mom was tired of animals and wanted to look at crafts and hot tubs and other things. So we found the different buildings and did that. The kid's got to ride on the giant slide and on the sky glider.

We left around 6:30pm stopped and had supper and headed home. It was a good day at the fair and we didn't even get to see it all. If you ever think about going you should next year it is a good time. Just bring lots of money or else your own food.

Our 15th Anniversary

2008-08-16T10:51:00.003-04:00

This is late getting on here but I was gone all day yesterday at the state fair. So here goes....
Thursday August 14th we celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary. Darryl worked all day and I took an older lady that we help out to CR for a pedicure (she paid for me to have one too) and to Aldi's. After getting home I took Alivia to the pool for about an hour came home took a shower, shaved my legs and got ready for my night out.
We went to Iowa River Power Company in Coralville for supper. It was nice and quiet in there(not a place to take kids for supper) and our table had a view of the dam which was nice and calming.
After dinner we walked along the path that goes over the dam. Then we headed off to Iowa City to try out this piano bar.
We get there soon after 7:00pm(when they open) and no one was there besides one worker. So we left and walked around went into Old Capitol Mall (in which the stores were closed?) and so we left there went into a few stores outside that were still open and headed back to the bar about 8:00. We walk in and once again no one. Well my feet hurt from these cheap heels that I have so I told Darryl let's just sit down and have a few drinks. We sat at the bar where we could see the tv, I asked him if he would turn it to the Olympics and he did. Then Darryl asked him when does the piano player come in.... about 8:30 he says. Darryl asked are you guys usually busy on a Thursday night. he said yes we get busy around 11pm to which we both said we will be in bed by then. Now in general I don't feel 3* , I feel more like 28,29 years old. But on Thursday I felt like I should have been 62 years old. So Darryl got a coke and I got a Strawberry Martini. Wine and Martini's were half price that night which was good because they normally charge $7.00 for a martini. I have no problem paying that in NYC but in Iowa.....no. So I drank that down the piano player Sean got there and started to play. It was nice listening to him. I ordered another martini this time a chocolate one for my dessert of the night and it was so so good. So I asked the bartender for the recipe. So Sherry come next month when the guys are gone in Kansas City we are having some Chocolate martinis!
It was a good night and we had fun. This was the first time I had been to a piano bar. I wanted to go because I had seen a "Friends" episode where they went to a piano bar but you could ask the piano player to play a song and you could sing. Then there were commercials for a piano bar in CR (which got flooded) and the same owner runs the IC one. We left around 9:15pm to get home so I don't know if they ever let you sing but it was nice to hear him play and sing. I would go back again. And I think I will make the girls go to one in NYC this May.

THE MOLE

2008-08-12T11:25:00.002-04:00

Last night was the season finally of The Mole on ABC. When the competition first started I had on my list as suspects Liz - because of her age she would be able to use that as an excuse to fail at certain challenges and also because she would be like a "mom" to the other players and who would peg their mom as The Mole. Craig because of his size he would also be able to fail at many challenges because he is in bad shape plus people that big are usually very friendly and funny and so no one would peg him. Then third it was Bobby. Although a skinny little guy he had a lot problems with leg cramps etc. in the first few challenges.

By about week 4 my front runner for The MOLE was Craig. I think Liz had been executed and Bobby was just a bad player with lots of problems. As I continued to watch Craig everything about him and his actions confirmed to me he was The MOLE.

As it got down to the final three Nicole, Mark and Craig, I kept saying Craig was it. So between Mark and Nicole, I had hoped Mark would win. He is 42 his wife is pregnant with their 4th child and he works 2 jobs and she works as well. If he won the money he would be able to let his wife quit her job to stay home with the kids which is what she really wanted to do. Now Nicole is an OB-GYN and more of a high society snobby girl (that's the impression she gave off). She is single and already makes enough money to support herself plus. So I was hoping for Mark to be the winner.

As the winner was reveled last night it was........Mark!!!! I was so happy I actually had a few tears of joy that he had won.
Then The Mole, was it Craig or was it Nicole? The door opened we waited and out came........Craig just as I had thought.

It was just the way I had hoped the show would end. The Mole is a great show and I would love to see my hubby try to be on it or heck maybe even ME.

Sauerkraut Day's Parade plus

2008-08-10T14:49:00.003-04:00

Like Heritage Day's the kid's walked with Tae Kwon Do in the the Sauerkraut Day's parade. As observers and knowing lots of people Darryl and I got a ton of candy for them. They had fun but both said their feet hurt from walking.

Later that day we worked the BINGO tent as a family, the kid's got to feed the animals in the petting zoo, going on the expensive rides, and throw water balloons at the racers during the bath tub races. And then Darryl and I enjoyed the band for a while Saturday night. So over all it was once again a good Sauerkraut Day's weekend.

Kraut Route '08

2008-08-10T14:21:00.005-04:00

My alarm went off at 7:01am :( I was a little nervous the night before and didn't sleep to well.

I make my way downstairs, get some OJ and take some vitamins, plug in my hair straightener, and Darryl tells me we may be running in rain this morning. I get dressed in my new Asics Cornell Track shirt ( thanks Keri and Lonnie) and start to stretch. Do my hair, brush my teeth, and get ready to head over to the park with my hubby. It was sprinkling off and on. We get registered and stretch some more until race time...........

We get on our marks...get set....the gun didn't go off. We try again.... on your marks....get set..... the gun didn't work a second time. We do it again, on your marks.....get set.....nothing!! I was like OK Mr. Timm we don't need a stupid gun shot just say GO geezzzz. So the fourth time, on your marks...get set...and he yells GO! We had some walkers in front of us blocking us a little bit and I about yelled HELLO Runners behind you move duh! But we(Darryl and I) just pushed by them instead.

At the mile marker I was at 11min 24 sec. (which is good since I had been running 12min miles).

But this was the start of the dreaded hill from the dark side. I made it up the big big hill and up the medium hill and up the two little hills and then finally we were at the two mile marker just past our house, my time was 22 minutes. The kids stood at the end of the driveway and cheered us on as we ran on through our last mile. With about 1/2 a mile left to go we pass a lady runner in my age bracket (yes) and then we passed another lady in the next older age bracket (yes again) we go by Keri and Lonnie's and they were out with the boys cheering us on and she took our picture (thanks Keri). So we are about .2 miles from the finish almost there and the lady in the older age bracket is running faster to get across the finish line. Fine I let her pass, but then I see the other lady in my age bracket out of the corner of my eye and she too is sprinting for the finish line and I said to myself....self there is no way you are going to come into last place, so I hauled butt with Darryl beat her and got 6th place out of 8 ladies in my age group and had a great time of 34 min. 16 sec. my new 5K record :)

All in all it was fun and I was glad Darryl was there to move me a little faster and we had a great time doing something together.

Sauerkraut Days

2008-08-03T14:36:00.002-04:00

At the end of this week is Lisbon's annual Sauerkraut Day's. It will start on Thursday with a pie and ice cream social at the City Park followed by Friday late afternoon thru Saturday night events. There will be BINGO ( Darryl and the kids and I will be working on Saturday from 4-6pm if you want to see us) a car show Saturday, parade (the kids will be walking with their Tae Kwon Do group) expensive carnival rides that are a big rip off :), lots of brats and sauerkraut - yuk! And on Saturday morning the thing that I have been training for now for 6 weeks........ the Kraut Route 5K run/walk. Darryl is going to join me so we will be the cute couple running together! Come out and cheer us on, we will go right by our house so feel free to park and come to the sidewalk and cheer for us, we would love it!!

Mama Mia - One thumb down

2008-07-31T12:33:00.003-04:00

Last night two friends of mine went to go see Mama Mia. Now I knew of course it was a musical, but didn't know the whole story line. It's about a girl Sophie who is getting married and wants to know who her dad is. She reads her mom's diary from 20 years ago and finds out it could be 3 possible men (yes mom was a slut). She invites all three men to come to her wedding and they all do. The story is good and I would like to see it on Broadway.

At the end of the movie as they are doing a special song and dance, I see the the executive directors were Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson. I'm a HUGE Tom Hanks fan and think he is an amazing actor. But I thought their choice for actors in this movie was a little off.

Then my friend told me that Rita kept bothering Merle Streep until she finally said she would do the part of "Donna" the mom. In general I'm not a big Streep fan at all, but I thought her singing and dancing in this movie was not good. I wish Tom would have stepped in and got someone who can sing and dance and act like...... Cathrine Zeta-Jones or even better a wonderful actress whom my daughter was named after Olivia Newton-John. Now that's who the should have got!!

Then Pierce Bronson played one of the potential fathers. I laughed so hard the first time he broke out in song!! I told my friend he could never play 007 again after this. My favorite movie that he played in was Mrs. Doubtfire. Anyway he did not sing well at all either. They should have got a different actor to play that part like...... Richard Gere or the best choice I think would have been their (Tom and Rita's) friend John Travolta! That would have been great to see him and Olivia back on the big screen together.

Well those are my thoughts. In general the movies story line was good but I did find myself laughing A LOT at the musical numbers and the cast that sang them. I think this movie could have been great with the choices of different actors whether the ones I mentioned above or non-famous actors who could sing and dance. I'm disappointed that Tom put out a movie like this but I still respect him as an actor.

Hot Air Balloon Festival

2008-07-29T13:07:00.000-04:00

This weekend we packed up the family and headed back for the last time in a while to Indianola,IA to see our friends the Sullivan's. We planned on going this weekend because starting on Friday was the Indinaola Hot Air Balloon Festival. Indianola is home to the National Hot Air Balloon Museum(now if this answer is ever on Jeopardy you know the answer). We got there Friday night around 5:30pm. While we were eating we could see some of the balloons which had taken off at 6:30pm for the night ascension. It was a nice thing to see. Then Friday night at dusk they were doing the night glow. This in tells the balloons being on the ground but lighting up. So we get there around 8:45pm and cars were leaving. We thought it's not even dark yet whats the deal!!! We asked someone and we had missed it (thanks Sherry :) there was maybe some storms coming in so they did it earlier then dusk. Bummer!! But the next night we went over for the 6:30pm ascension and here are some of the pics I got from it. It was so beautiful. The purple one is called the Purple People Eater. And the spaceship didn't fly that night it was so huge and I'm glad they kept it blown up for awhile.

If you ever get the chance I do recommend going to the Balloon Festival it was a great time.

RAGBRAI in Lisbon

2008-07-25T23:21:00.000-04:00

Well we had a whole lot of bikers come through our little town today. All walks of life from old to kids sitting in carry along things while their parents peddled away. I went walking around 10:30 this morning with a friend and we were able to check it all out. There were a lot of bikers and some were drinking beer which I would expect from the riders but thought at 10:30 in the a.m. was pretty early unless you are an alcoholic :)

Then further down on our walk we heard a few guys hooting and hollering and as they went by we were able to get quite a few glimpses of about eight guys butts!!! That's right they had half of there spandex shorts pulled down and everyone got a good look.

Also when we were downtown there was this let say 20 something year old guy with no shirt and not spandex but skin tight Calvin Cline boxer shorts. Let's just say if a sketch artist needed me to describe him the police would be able to pick him up in about 10 min. ( from Seinfeld).
It seemed like a great day for the bikers and they all seemed to be having lots of fun.

Doing Laundry..Trevor style

2008-07-21T15:20:00.000-04:00

I just got done mowing and I have Trevor help me by doing the big open area. Both kids have chores and this is not part of his but he does it cause he loves his mom and is willing to help me out.
OK back to the main idea of this post. One of Trevor's jobs is to fold laundry. So when he first started I showed Trevor how to fold it etc....
He now does it by himself. So after he is done I sometimes need to change clothes or the next day get dressed. I would find Darryl's underwear in my underwear drawer. Then there would be Darryl's shirts or shorts in my pile of clothes. I thought good night does he REALLY think I could fit into these things?? Does he think I'm fat???? What is going on????
As time goes on though I know he is just clueless. I'm trying to train him whoever might be his future wife :)

I figured out he has no idea because I have found Alivia's shorts in my pile, sometimes her shirts, and sometimes her pants. Now that makes my day :) I think wow Trevor thinks I'm a stick thin 60 lb. mom. Although I know the truth is he has no idea whose clothes are whom besides his own that he wears.
AHAH.... another day in the life of Trevor. I do love him so much and he makes me laugh everyday.
Ladies I really am trying to train him up to be a wonderful husband. We are currently working on..... holding the door open for women, not saying mom listen and then farting loudly, and not burping out loud and straining chucks as he does it.

I'm having a hard time with the last one since his dad burps all the time, and very loudly. It is gross and I have learned to put up with it. I only hope if I can't break this habit, that his wife will be tolerant of this genetic disorder that has been passed down the Studt line :)

I'm going back to NYC

2008-07-17T09:22:00.000-04:00

Big Apple here we come!!!! I just got done booking my flight this morning to NYC in May 2009.

A few months ago it was not looking good with airline prices going way up (along with everything else) plus our hotel we stayed at last time is under new ownership and they bumped up rooms from $250 a night to $400 a night!! When we went in '07 we planned $500 for room and air ticket, this time it was looking like it would be $500 for air and $500 for room. So I told my friend that I didn't think I could go. Then this week my other friend going said United had tickets going out of Moline,IL for $204. So this morning we booked at that great price.

We are still searching for a good hotel that doesn't cost too much. Right now we have reservations at a hotel called Herald Square. The cost for 5 nights is $1,485.70 for two queen beds, that divided by 4 women equals $371.42 each for our room stay. So my cost right now for room and flight is $575. I have that saved already so now I have 10 months to save for spending money, food and money for a broadway show. I plan on giving plasma once a month (going in twice in the same week) and earning $60 which would give me $600 by the time we leave.

So I'm set and ready for NYC again. I do love going there and there is always so much to see each time. People who live there really do have so much culture around them. If you have never been I encourage you to go.

Heritage Days 5k.... I did it!!!

2008-07-12T15:39:00.000-04:00

It was a stormy night last night and the thunder booms kept waking me up. My alarm goes off at 7:01am and I hit snooze and hear the rain. I lay there thinking do I get up and check the weather or go back to sleep. I get up and go downstairs. Darryl is up and talking with our friend Mark Sullivan whom spent the night along with his brother last night because they are leaving for Chicago at around 8:30am to go to the NASCAR race tonight.
I check the weather and the storm looks like it has passed. So I get ready for the 5K. I stop at Casey's and get a granola bar that has yogurt to continue on my carb eating. I pull into the Mt.Vernon High school and someone is waving at me....... it's my friend Vanessa. I was in shock! Was she there to run with me or walk by herself??? I park the car, get out, hug her, and she tells me she is there to cheer me on and take my picture. How sweet!!!
I line up in the back of the pack of runners and in front of the walkers and the gun fires. I'm off..... I get to the 4th Ave. hill and can see a lot of people walking up it :( So I get to it and make it almost to the top but walk about 15-20 at the crest of it. My mouth is dry and I need a drink of water. Just a little ways up Sam Young has a water jug. I stop grab and cup and fill it with water take a drink and get going again. I hit 1 mile marker at 12min 15 sec. Not bad since I never know what I run a mile in. I'm thinking minus the walking and stopping for a drink I could have done it in 12min. The rest of the race is on pretty level ground with only a small hill about a 1/2 mile later. I go to the finish, Vanessa takes my picture and is cheering for me and I get me stick which has #163 on it. I still don't know my time the stick was my proof for when all the runner/walkers came in. But I had fun and got my exercise in for today. Now it's back to training for sauerkraut days 5k. I will post Vanessa's pictures she took of me before and after the race as soon as she e-mails them to me :)